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Over the weekend the remainder of the nation's TV broadcasters (971 to be precise) made the belated leap from analog to digital, and according to an FCC statement, the transition went remarkably smoothly -- Neilsen's ratings for fuzz soared, and by early afternoon on Saturday the FCC said it had received 315,000 calls from consumers who voiced immediate improvement and happiness with the change. However, entertainment conglomerate and defensive contractor owned and operated corporate media outlets, their advertisers, pill-poppin' pundits, Tali-Born Again preachers, and pretend patriot parrots were far from silent.

Amidst much caterwauls and uttered failure fatwahs, they claimed those consumers were 'Murika hating terrorist sympathizers in league President David Aceveda's Socialist takeover of the country. One source at "The Redneck Al-Jazeera" (owned by perception mismanagement mogul Sheik Rupert Al-Murdoch) who requested his name be withheld for professional and personal reasons stated that with all those viewers enjoying fuzz, they won't be able to rake in billions of revenue from exploiting both President Aceveda's "Global Apology Tour" and former Vice President Vic Mackey's "Poison The Jury Pool Tour" for the great unwashed masses. A spokesperson for Former President Shane W. "Cletus Van Damme" Bush said he'll comment later this week. The Congressional Office Freezers Union had no contents according to its press secretary - the recently re-animated corpse of journalist Bob Novak.

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