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marcelle19
cross
MVM
join:2002-03-02
Hesperia, CA

1 recommendation

marcelle19

MVM

O/T - Cheap Detective Novel - in spurts.

Why not? There are some very intelligent and very corny people (are they the same?;)), so we could probably get a decent "flatfoot" out of our TH brothers and sisters.

BTW, PLEASE USE UPPER CASE LETTERS FOR THE NOVEL. THANKS.

I'll try to give the corny beginning:

"IT WAS A DARK NIGHT OUTSIDE, AND THE AIR FELT GRITTY..."

rusdi
American V
MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR

1 edit

rusdi

MVM

Tasted awful too...Had the texture, and mouth feel of grits..You know? that funny "southern comfort" food? But, it was dark, and I tripped over something............
EDIT: OOPS...I ALREADY SCREWED UP!! FORGOT TO CAPS_LOCK!!

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
AND THAT BLACK CAT LET OUT A YOWL THAT WOULD HAVE MADE BOGIE SOIL HIS PANTS. BUT NOT ME -- LANCE MANLY, P.I. I MOVED TOWARDS THE LIGHTED WINDOW ...

rusdi
American V
MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR

rusdi to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
I SAW A SILHOUETTE IN THE WINDOW..IT WAS FAMILIAR SOMEHOW...I STEPPED CLOSER TO GET A BETTER VIEW.

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
IT WAS A DAME -- AND WHAT A DAME. HER SILHOUETTE WOULD PUT A COKE BOTTLE TO SHAME -- A CLASSIC COKE BOTTLE, NOT A STUPID 2-LITER PLASTIC BOTTLE. SHE HAD A KNIFE IN HER HAND.

rusdi
American V
MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR

rusdi to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
AND A TUB OF CREAM CHEESE & A BAGLE...
THERE WAS SOMETHING ODD ABOUT HER DEMEANOR, HOWEVER....SHE WAS LOOKING AT SOMETHING....SOMETHING ON THE FLOOR......

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
... FROM MY VANTAGE POINT I COULDN'T QUITE MAKE IT OUT ... BUT IT LOOKED LIKE A ... A ... SECURITY MONITOR SHOWING SOMEONE LOOKING THROUGH A WINDOW!

rusdi
American V
MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR

rusdi to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
I PANICKED!! I RAN..... I RAN INTO A PARKED CAR..
AFTER AWHILE, I REGAINED CONCIOUSNESS... I COMPOSED MYSELF AND REGAINED MY ALOOF, ARROGANT STRIDE...WITH A SLIGHT, BUT UNNOTICEABLE LIMP....I MADE MY WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE....

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
AN HOUR LATER I WAS MEDICATING MYSELF WITH KENTUCKY'S BEST WHEN THE DOOR OPENED WITHOUT A KNOCK -- IT WAS HER. SHE SAID HER NAME WAS VERONICA. SHE HAD HER HAND INSIDE HER ELEGANT ETIENNE AIGNER PURSE -- YOU KNOW, THE FAUX CROC STYLE THAT'S LIGHTWEIGHT BUT LARGE ENOUGH TO PACK A .38 -- AND SHE SAID ...

rusdi
American V
MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR

rusdi to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
"HELLO LUKE".....THIS WAS STRANGE TO ME...BECAUSE MY NAME IS LANCE.. BUT I NODDED IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO HER GREETING ANYWAY.

CurtesyFlush
Bababooey, fafafooey, tatatoothy.
Premium Member
join:2002-08-23
Fontana, CA

1 edit

CurtesyFlush

Premium Member

SHE WAS BLONDE, BLONDE IN A WAY THAT WOULD MAKE A BISHOP KICK A HOLE IN A STAINED GLASS WINDOW. HER TIGHT CASHMERE SWEATER
REVEALED TWO MOUNTAINOUS MOUNDS, THE KIND OF MOUNTAINOUS THAT GRABBED YOUR EYES HARD ENOUGH TO PULL YOUR SOCKS OFF. HER HIGH FEATURES WERE ABOUT AS INCONSPICUOUS AS A TARANTULA ON
A SLICE OF ANGEL FOOD CAKE. LIKE A STEVEDORE LOADING SACKS OF RICE, I HEAVED MY EYES OFF HER CHARMS AND CROAKED OUT A NONCOMMITTAL "WHATTAYA WANT?".
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -Will Rogers

ehansman
He's Back - KIMI 2012
Premium Member
join:2002-01-21
Over Here

ehansman

Premium Member

WITHOUT WARNING THE DAME'S FEATURES CRUMPLED LIKE YESTERDAY'S NEWSPAPER. SHE BEGAN BAWLING LIKE A HUNGRY BABY.
"MY HUSBAND IS MISSING, AND I NEED YOUR HELP FINDING HIM," SHE SAID, TEARS STREAMING DOWN HER PERFECTLY CHISELED FACE.
"DAMN," I THOUGHT.
"TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON," I MANAGED TO SPUTTER...

CurtesyFlush
Bababooey, fafafooey, tatatoothy.
Premium Member
join:2002-08-23
Fontana, CA

CurtesyFlush

Premium Member

SHE STEELED HERSELF BY TAKING A LONG, DEEP BREATH. THIS CAUSED HER CHEST TO EXPAND BY 4 MAGNITUDES OF SIZE, WHILE MY ATTENTION TO WHAT SHE WAS SAYING DECREASED LOGARITHMICALLY.
SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING, I WAS SLAMMED UPSIDE MY HEAD LIKE A SANTA ANA WIND GUST HITS AN 18 WHEELER AT THE DEVORE CUT-OFF. AS I PICKED MYSELF UP OFF THE DUST MOTTLED OAKEN FLOOR OF MY OFFICE, I HEARD HER SCREECH.....

ehansman
He's Back - KIMI 2012
Premium Member
join:2002-01-21
Over Here

ehansman

Premium Member

"CHARLIE, NO!!"
I WIPED THE DUST FROM MY EYES IN TIME TO SEE A LARGE MAN ARMED WITH A STRETCH OF 2 X 4 RUSH TOWARD ME. I DUCKED UNDER HIS ARM, GRABBED THE DAME, AND RUSHED OUT THE DOOR LIKE MY PANTS WERE ON FIRE. WE SCRAMBLED DOWN THE STAIRS AND OUTSIDE...WITH THE BRUTE HOT ON OUR TAILS.
"HERE'S MY CAR," VERONICA SAID, GESTURING TOWARD THE SWEETEST MG I HAD SEEN IN A VERY LONG TIME.
I WILLED MY GAZE FROM HER HEAVING CHEST AND SAID...

Santa Fe
BUT.....I Digress!

join:2000-08-22
Freight Yard

Santa Fe

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BUBUSKA? HE ASKED AS HE....

CurtesyFlush
Bababooey, fafafooey, tatatoothy.
Premium Member
join:2002-08-23
Fontana, CA

CurtesyFlush

Premium Member

said by Santa Fe:

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BUBUSKA? I ASKED AS I....
ATTEMPTED TO START THE $#@$%$ MG, WHICH, BEING A BRITISH CAR, WAS TEMPERAMENTAL TO SAY THE LEAST. AS THE THUG BORE DOWN ON US, VERONICA, EVER THE LADY, TOOK THE BABUSHKA AND....

ghostpainter
I Write for the Apocalypse
MVM
join:2002-05-25
Rancho Cucamonga, CA

ghostpainter to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
WAVED IT OUT THE WINDOW WHILE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS....

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
SAID, "IF BY BABUSHKA YOU ARE REFERRING TO THE SCARF WHICH HAS SUDDENLY APPEARED ON MY HEAD IN A GLARING CONTINUITY ERROR, I WILL REMOVE IT. IF YOU MEAN MY BELOVED BABA, SHE IS SAFELY AT HOME IN LENINGR-- ... I MEAN, ST. PETERSBURG. BUT ENOUGH OF EXPOSITION. THIS IS AN OLD BRITISH CAR -- PULL OUT THE CHOKE TO HALF-THROTTLE TO START IT, YOU IDIOT."

"I KNEW THAT," I REPLIED, NOTING HER GEOGRAPHICAL ERROR AND WONDERING IF SHE MIGHT RETAIN SOME SYMPATHY FOR HER ANCESTRAL COUNTRY'S DISCREDITED COMMUNIST PAST. I TUCKED THAT INTO A DIM CORNER OF MY MIND FOR LATER USE AND WENT ON: "BUT KING KONG BACK THERE JUST GAVE ME A LUMBERJACK'S BAPTISM. I'M NOT THINKING QUITE STRAIGHT YET."

"GO!" SHE YELLED. I PULLED THE CHOKE, THE MG FIRED UP, AND WE PULLED AWAY FROM THE CURB AT A MODERATELY-FAST RATE OF ACCELERATION JUST AS CHARLIE PUT A CREASE THE SIZE OF THE GRAND CANYON IN THE CAR'S ROOF. AS WE SPED AWAY I TURNED TO HER AND ASKED ...

ghostpainter
I Write for the Apocalypse
MVM
join:2002-05-25
Rancho Cucamonga, CA

ghostpainter

MVM

WAS THAT NECESSARY???

tstolze
Premium Member
join:2003-08-08
O Fallon, MO

tstolze to marcelle19

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to marcelle19
AT THAT TIME THE MOTOR OF THE MG STARTED SPUTTERING, SPUTTERING, SPUTTERING, THEN SILENCE, SEEMS LANCE FORGOT TO PUSH THE CHOKE BACK IN. HE LOOKED AROUND AS IF HE WAS LOST, AS THE CAR CAME TO REST VERONICA JUMPED OUT AND....

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
TOOK OFF FASTER THAN SADDAM CAN SAY 'WMD'. I HEARD A LOUD, MASCULINE VOICE SHOUT "HEY, GUMSHOE!" AND TURNED AROUND JUST IN TIME TO LET GODZILLA GIVE ME A FIVE-FINGER KISS. I CRUMPLED LIKE AN OFFICEMAX.COM REBATE, AND DREAMT THAT BABA WAS BABYING ME WITH BORSCHT IN BUDAPEST.

WHEN I AWOKE I FELT LIKE CHARLIE HAD SENT ME BACK TO THE LAST MILLENIUM. THE MG WAS GONE, AND VERONICA AND CHARLIE WERE NOWHERE IN SIGHT. SO I ...

rusdi
American V
MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR

rusdi to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
ONCE AGAIN GATHERED WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY DIGNITY, AND HEADED BACK TO WHERE I HAD FIRST SEEN VERONICA.....

THE MG WAS PARKED IN FRONT OF HER APARTMENT, BUT NO SIGN OF HER OR MR.NEANDRATHAL..IT WAS GETTING LATE, AND I NEEDED A SHOWER, SO I.............

ehansman
He's Back - KIMI 2012
Premium Member
join:2002-01-21
Over Here

ehansman

Premium Member

DECIDED TO CALL IT A NIGHT.
I HAILED A TAXI, AND HEADED BACK TO THE DUMP THAT PASSED FOR MY CURRENT LIVING QUARTERS.
THE DOOR TO MY APARTMENT SWUNG OPEN...THE LOCK HUNG, USELESS, FROM THE JAMB.
"AH, HELL," I THOUGHT, "MAYBE THEY WON'T BE IN THE SHOWER."
I STEPPED THROUGH THE DOOR AND.....

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
WAS IMMEDIATELY GRABBED FROM BEHIND BY SOMEONE WHO PUT THEIR HAND OVER MY MOUTH AND SAID, "PLEASE BE QUIET" IN A LACONIC MONOTONE THAT SOUNDED JUST LIKE DROOPY DOG. I SHRUGGED OFF MY ASSAILANT AND WHIRLED AROUND TO SEE -- A WIZENED LITTLE MAN WHO LOOKED JUST LIKE JIMMY CARTER, ONLY WUSSIER.

"WHO ARE YOU?" I BELLOWED, BUT HE DIDN'T FLINCH AT ALL.

HE PUT HIS INDEX FINGER TO HIS LIPS AND WHISPERED, "SHHH! I'M VERONICA'S HUSBAND."

I WAS FLOORED. EITHER THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MAN WAS RICH, OR ELSE HE WAS SUPER-RICH, OR ELSE HE WAS AN EXPERT HYPNOTIST. HOW HAD THIS SAD SACK LANDED A CLASSY DAME LIKE VERONICA?

"I HOPE NOBODY STOLE MY BOOZE," I CROAKED, AND HEADED FOR MY KITCHEN.

ghostpainter
I Write for the Apocalypse
MVM
join:2002-05-25
Rancho Cucamonga, CA

ghostpainter

MVM

THIS PATHETIC HUMAN MANAGED SOMEHOW TO FOLLOW ME INTO THE KITCHEN, AND WHILE I LOOKED FOR MY HIDDEN BOOZE I HEARD A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM...RUNNING OUT THE BACK DOOR I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE VERONICA LAYING ON THE GROUND ALL COVERED IN BLOOD...STANDING OVER HER WAS....

TwoFrogs
Times Fun when You're Having Flies
MVM
join:2002-01-20
Redlands, CA

TwoFrogs to marcelle19

MVM

to marcelle19
A SHORT, STOCKY FIGURE OF INDETERMINATE RACE AND GENDER, DRESSED FROM HEAD TO TOE IN BLACK, EVEN THE NINJA HEADPIECE.

"GOSH," I SAID, "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" -- ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T USE THOSE EXACT WORDS. IN RESPONSE, THE NINJA UNSHEATHED THE SHINIEST SWORD I HAD EVER SEEN -- WITH A DULL PATINA OF RED ON THE RAZOR-SHARP EDGE. UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE NINJA, I WAS CARRYING MY 92F MEXICAN. THE NINJA WAS QUICK -- BUT I WAS QUICKER. BEFORE THE NINJA COULD TAKE TWO STEPS I PULLED OFF A COUPLE OF KNEECAPS AND THE NINJA WAS DOWN.

I WARILY KICKED THE SWORD AWAY AND PULLED OFF THE NINJA'S HEADPIECE. "WHAT THE ...." -- MY VOICE TRAILED OFF. I'D HAD ENOUGH SHOCKS THIS EVENING TO KILL AN ELECTRIC EEL -- BUT I COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS. THE NINJA WAS ...

marcelle19
cross
MVM
join:2002-03-02
Hesperia, CA

3 edits

1 recommendation

marcelle19

MVM

I LOOKED OVER AT THE DIRECTOR'S AND PRODUCER'S CHAIRS AT THIS POINT, AND ASKED IF THEY THOUGHT A BREAK WAS ACCEPTABLE. BEING THE TOADIES THAT THEY WERE, THEY KNEW ENOUGH TO TAKE A SUPERSTAR'S SUGGESTION AS THEIR OWN FORM OF GOSPEL, CATERING TO MY EVERY DEBAUCHERY AND DESPOILED FANCY...

renoed
renoed
Premium Member
join:2003-01-21
Sparks, NV

renoed to marcelle19

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to marcelle19
MOMENTS LATER, ON ENTERING MY ENORMOUS TRAILER AT THE BACK OF THE LOT, I SEE THE ONE PERSON I FEAR THE MOST. THERE IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR, SWILLING MY SCOTCH IS ............MOM.
MOM, I SAID HOW WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU AGAIN. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
SQUINTING HER ONE GOOD EYE SHE REPLIED..............

ehansman
He's Back - KIMI 2012
Premium Member
join:2002-01-21
Over Here

1 recommendation

ehansman to marcelle19

Premium Member

to marcelle19
"WHERE'S THAT TWENTY BUCKS YOU OWE ME??"

marcelle19
cross
MVM
join:2002-03-02
Hesperia, CA

1 edit

marcelle19

MVM

"AND DID YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT A REAL ACTOR?" SHE CONTINUED. "YOU JUST CAME OUT OF A WEEK LONG COMA - WE FOUND YOU AFTER CANVASING THE LOCAL HOSPITALS."

"NOW, YOU'RE ON ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT," SHE SAID. "YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT WHO, IN THE MOVIE CAST, CREW - EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE MOVIE - IS SELLING OUR COUNTRY'S SECRETS, AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE."

"BY THE WAY, WE KNOW THIS MUCH: IT IS THE SAME PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WEEK-LONG HEADACHE."