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| | Whatever happened to parenting? O.k. ways to stop porn on the computer.
TAKE IT OUT OF THE KIDS ROOM AND PUT IT IN A COMMON AREA!!!!! Yes, I am yelling because this is a simple thing that costs no money. No subscriptions to cybersitter or other blocking software.
Actually learn to use blocking software correctly. It's called a manual, learn to read. 
How about not letting kids use the computer unless you are there with them?
Come on people, become parents and stop using the TV and computer as a babysitter. | |
|   thender2Glamour ProfessionPremium
join:2004-05-16
Staten Island, NY |  Re: Whatever happened to parenting?
I received my first computer when I was six years old, a 286, and the internet with a pentium 4 when I was 13.
Had I not been given a computer in a room where people weren't always looking at me, I don't think I would have bothered using it nearly as much.
When I was six I began working on a program in GWbasic. My fake toysrus computer, one of the many I had went through, had some junior version of gwbasic. So I tried it on the 286, and I tinkered around with it, and when I was seven, I had a working math test. It did multiplication/division/subtraction/addition, two of which I couldn't even do without a calculator at the time, and gave positive and negative comments according to whether or not you input the right answer.
This may sound pointless, but it was part of me learning to use a computer. Learning to troubleshoot, learning to think. I would never have done this if my mom were to sit next to me and watch. I don't think children are as mature as teenagers or adults, but some sense that - they sense when someone's watching them, and if someone in the family did that to me in a condescending manner asking "oh, what's that?" trying to make conversation, it was awkward. The one time my dad ever did it, it was very awkward, and I stopped doing what I was doing to do something else.
The same happened with the internet. Even when what I was doing was 100% legitimate, or if I were just reading a post on how a 15" bass driver has higher group delay than multiple 10" ones with the same amplitude, it irked me to have someone in the room always looking over at me at what I was doing. That at any time, they can see what I'm doing, disturbed me. So I turned the computer towards the wall, facing a window. If you want to see what I'm doing, you have to actively look over my shoulder now, and it worked. I felt much more comfortable doing things.
I remember one time when my mother would pick up the phone randomly during conversations, when I was about 10-11 years old. I found out eventually when she would bring up certain things in conversation that she could have only known if she had heard the full phoen conversation, and I didn't use the phone to call friends again until I moved out seven years later.
I don't think children are to be given carte blanche to do what they please, but privacy goes a long way. I know this is hard to understand in a society that as of late, doesn't even award adults this basic right. Yet I think it belongs to children too. I think you can't shield children from communication technologies without shielding them from communication altogether, and any censorship here is never going to end well.
If you have a good relationship with your kid, maybe he'll tell you what he's doing online. Maybe he'll tell you what he saw on TV, and maybe he'll even tell you if a violent scene troubled him. But having an open relationship with your child is no longer necessary - why bother when the V-chip in the TV, when netnanny, when spying in on your son's internet sessions can give you the same security without all the messy work of forming a trust based bond with your kid?
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The Problem With Music.
Our Rationale
Time to rewrite the DMCA. | |
| |  RobIn Deo speramus, God Bless the USAPremium
join:2001-08-25
Kendall, FL
kudos:2 | Re: Whatever happened to parenting? Somewhere in your extremely long rant, I think I found your main point and I agree. | |
| | | thender2Glamour ProfessionPremium
join:2004-05-16
Staten Island, NY | Re: Whatever happened to parenting? said by Rob:Somewhere in your extremely long rant, I think I found your main point and I agree. Somewhere in that long rant I forgot my main point, but kept typing. It happens often.  | |
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| | | said by thender2:I don't think children are as mature as teenagers or adults, but some sense that - they sense when someone's watching them, and if someone in the family did that to me in a condescending manner asking "oh, what's that?" trying to make conversation, it was awkward. The one time my dad ever did it, it was very awkward, and I stopped doing what I was doing to do something else. Sorry, but you just lumped all parents into one "condescending" group. Sorry your parents didn't know how to treat you.
said by thender2:I remember one time when my mother would pick up the phone randomly during conversations, when I was about 10-11 years old. I found out eventually when she would bring up certain things in conversation that she could have only known if she had heard the full phoen conversation, and I didn't use the phone to call friends again until I moved out seven years later. I don't think children are to be given carte blanche to do what they please, but privacy goes a long way. I know this is hard to understand in a society that as of late, doesn't even award adults this basic right. Yet I think it belongs to children too. I think you can't shield children from communication technologies without shielding them from communication altogether, and any censorship here is never going to end well. You seem to forget, children don't have the right to privacy. It's a parent's job to know what their kids are doing and to respond accordingly.
I had friends with parents that think like you do. Most do drugs or got into other serious trouble because the parents didn't pay attention to what he/she was doing. Trust is earned (and I say that with both sides.)
said by thender2:If you have a good relationship with your kid, maybe he'll tell you what he's doing online. Maybe he'll tell you what he saw on TV, and maybe he'll even tell you if a violent scene troubled him. But having an open relationship with your child is no longer necessary - why bother when the V-chip in the TV, when netnanny, when spying in on your son's internet sessions can give you the same security without all the messy work of forming a trust based bond with your kid? Kids will constantly push the envelope. They will always see what they can get away with. There was a time when kids didn't have their own TVs, phones in their room (or even their own cell phones), etc. Households had 1 TV, 1 phone and had to spend time together.
You can give your kids space but you also need to watch them for their own good. | |
| | |  Vchat20Landing is the REAL challengePremium
join:2003-09-16
Columbus, OH | Re: Whatever happened to parenting? I can agree with this a bit including the bit about trust being earned and all. But there is just a certain point where it all becomes a little out of hand on the side of the parents watching their every move.
I will admit I am probably not one to judge since I DID gain trust from my mother enough to where she has never had a problem with what I do in my own privacy. And no, I never got in with the 'wrong crowd' as it's commonly referred to lately. I always kept to myself in school anyhow.
And fyi, I'm 19 years old so it's not like this is a little 14 year old spewing his/her opinion on a public forum.
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My philosophy on life: Take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt. | |
| | | thender2Glamour ProfessionPremium
join:2004-05-16
Staten Island, NY | quote:
I had friends with parents that think like you do. Most do drugs or got into other serious trouble because the parents didn't pay attention to what he/she was doing. Trust is earned (and I say that with both sides.)
I drank a bottle of beer in my lifetime, and haven't smoked a thing.
I think there's a difference between depraved indifference/blatant neglect and just giving your kid some space and discussing with him what you're doing.
quote:
There was a time when kids didn't have their own TVs, phones in their room (or even their own cell phones), etc. Households had 1 TV, 1 phone and had to spend time together.
I never had a phone in my room. I didn't have a cellphone until I moved out, and none of the TVs in the house worked properly for more than a day or two at a time - why else would I have gotten a usenet subscription at 16 otherwise.
I don't agree that the above has anything to do with spending less time with family. I think those are alternatives to spending time with family, and if they weren't around, you'd find other alternatives to spend less time with family. If you like your family, these things won't get in the way.
quote:
Trust is earned (and I say that with both sides.)
I agree, but I think a lot of modern parents go towards the extremes and ignore this altogether.
Every childhood friend I had, had parents who either watched over everything they did, or parents who couldn't tell their twin sons apart when I could. Neither extreme is the way to go.
--
The Problem With Music.
Our Rationale
Time to rewrite the DMCA. | |
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