rileyjam514
There You Go Again...
join:2005-06-26
Kearny, NJ
| In other news...
In other news, Kevin Martin's home was raided today by the DEA, on a hunch by the director of the DEA after seeing Martin's last three press conferences.
The raid was "hugely successful. We haven't found this much crack, ever, not even in Columbia!" said a DEA agent who was involved in the raid, who spoke on condition of anonymity. It is believed that Martin had no intention of selling or distributing the product, rather that he planned to "sling the biggest crack rock this side of Aquarius before going out in a blaze of glory!" according to a note taped to Martin's refrigerator.
When asked how he was tipped off, the director simply stated: "Have you seen this a***ole lately? There's no way he's thinking clearly! And look at those bloodshot eyes! My God, I'm surprised no one picked this up before now! I mean, come on now, do you really think anyone in the US has true broadband competition? When I have my choice of Fios, Cablevision, Comcast or Lightspeed, all without moving, then we'll talk!!" The director finished off his press conference by whipping out two six-shooters and firing wildly into the air and screaming and hooting loudly several times.
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Abortion is murder, Reagan was a hero, Clinton was a sleazeball, Iraq is much better off without Saddam, and the telcos are not trustworthy with American tax dollars. There! I've managed to offend a significant portion of BBR! |
