Time4aNAP
Premium
join:2007-04-09
Des Plaines, IL
| Chicken or Egg --What a Yoke!
I hear a lot about "trimming the fat", but I've never heard a single peep about the business cases that must have been made justifying "putting on fat" in the first place. After all, someone had to make a conscious decision to do it, and someone had to cut the check for it. Who was it?
Can you imagine the minutes of the board meeting when they decided to invest in dead weight?
CEO: "So, CFO, what's our financial condition?"
CFO: "Well sir, I'm happy to report that we're solvent and making a profit!"
CEO: "A profit? No, that's no good. We have to let the shareholders have profits. There's nothing in it for us. No good at all..."
CFO: "Shall I cook the books, sir?"
CEO: "Too late for that; Davis over there has already blabbed it all over the interweb on his Blueberry."
Davis: "That's Blackberry, sir..."
CEO: "Oh, shove it! You want to make yourself useful? Then figure out a way for us to bury this profit!"
Davis: "Well sir, we could form a 'do nothing' division, and use all of our profits to fund it."
Yes Man: "That's got to be the stup..."
CEO: "I like it!"
Yes Man: "...a great idea!"
CEO: "OK Davis, it's your idea, so I'm making you our new Vice President of...never mind, Marketing will come up with a name for your division. Congratulations!"
Davis: "B-b-but I'm the company's president already!"
CEO: "You were the president. Now you're a vice president. Kinda fitting, isn't it?"
Yes Man: "Good one, sir!"
(CEO turns to Yes Man)
CEO: "I like your moxie, son! What's your name?"
Yes Man: "Thank you, sir. My name is..."
CEO: "Whoops! We're outta time! I have a foursome that's teeing off in 30 minutes. All in favor of making whats-his-name the new company president say 'aye'..." |
