| Tail wagging the dog If Zucker wants to boost flagging numbers, he needs to do several things:
* Come up with a way to answer competition from all the emerging networks. Sorry to break it to you, Mr. Zucker, but it's not 1963 anymore. You no longer have a captive audience for your flavorless, brainless pablum.
* Come up with an entirely new IP addressing scheme that prevents tunnelling. He'll need to rewrite the entire net to do this, but all is subordinate to NBC's failure.
* Arrest his former viewers. This will help. He can throw them in jail where they'll have only a black and white television tuned only to NBC. Then maybe they will watch. Lawsuits will really help win back your vanishing viewership. They'll make us feel good about you, Mr. Zucker. We'll want to watch your idiotic programming and the disinfotainment you call news.
And finally, most difficult:
* Come up with programming that we actually want to watch. I haven't had a functioning television since 1987. I would not be caught dead watching anything on broadcast television, with the exception of Olbermann. All else is lowest-common-denominator tripe, insulting, pernicious brainwashing deception.
Non-suckitude seems to be beyond the capacity of the music, movie and television industry. Their hubris is preventing them from considering the fact that most of what people pirate, they weren't going to buy anyway. If by some bizarre quirk of fate I had the whim to see "24," and I downloaded it and viewed it without commercials for TOXIC MATERIALS AND JUNK FOOD I DON'T NEED, that doesn't cut into Mr Zucker's profits in any way.
Why? Because if I didn't download it, there is no chance at all that I would watch it.
I would rather pick shitballs out of a dog's navel than watch broadcast TV.
All in all, the party is over. The industry is saturated and diffused and your viewership is never going to come back. Corporate bully tactics aren't going to work either because we're hip to all that.
Concentration camps maybe? Clockwork Orange clamps? |
