stray
join:2000-01-16
Warren, NJ
2 edits | Backwards priorities
That's right, offer stale games from the last millennium, and forget about offering our favorite shows in HD. Where's my USA HD?
Here's an idea. Offer a game called "Fix My Verizon Bill", a high twitch challenge to jump from one phone holding pattern to another in the hopes of tagging a rep who admits they can't fix your bill right now! Minimum game subscription: 6 months. Game cost....Ah-ha! That's the game's final bonus round.
One oversight, to be corrected in version 2.0 of the IGM (Interactive Game Manager), due Q3 of 2011, is that subscribers whose remotes lack page up/down functionality will only be able to move their first-person game characters in one direction. An un-named Verizon spokesperson stated: "For that tiny minority of gaming customers who require multi-directional game motion, we suggest they buy extra remote controls from our largest competitor: Comcast."
Another conundrum for Verizon is the competition for eyeballs between their Widgets and the Game system. Many customers who currently spend hours exploring the vast array of widgets (another of Verizon's technological miracles), will now focus their energies and eyeballs on the hit 1993 game Doom.
Verizon plans to outsource the "Gaming Guide" information source to their current provider of TV Guide data. Industry analysts feel this may result in some inaccurate customer game selections; occasionally customers choosing Mario from the Game Menu could result in launching 3D Sex Villa instead. |
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