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Walter Winchell

@jillyred.net

Joke - welcome to Wal-mart....

Welcome to Wal-Mart

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!!


Reactance

join:2003-09-17
canada

heheheheh.



dirtyjeffer
Anons on ignore.
Premium
join:2002-02-21
London, ON

reply to Walter Winchell
i've read a similar version to that...it's pretty good.



snafu
Is it Friday yet ?
Premium
join:2004-02-16
Mississauga

reply to Walter Winchell
OK then >>

A very ugly woman walks into Wal-mart with her two kids.

The Wal-Mart Greeter asks, "Are they twins?"

The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why?
Do you think they really look alike?"

No," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."



TigerLord
Resident pentaxian
Premium,Mod
join:2002-06-09
Montreal
kudos:6

lol


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