TigerLord
Resident Pentaxian
Premium,Mod
join:2002-06-09
Montreal | reply to wkendhippie
Re: Joke - welcome to Wal-mart....
lol  |
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wkendhippie
Is it Friday yet ?
Premium
join:2004-02-16
Clarksdale
| reply to Walter Winchell
OK then >>
A very ugly woman walks into Wal-mart with her two kids.
The Wal-Mart Greeter asks, "Are they twins?"
The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why?
Do you think they really look alike?"
No," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."  |
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dirtyjeffer
Merry Christmas
Premium
join:2002-02-21
London, ON | reply to Walter Winchell
i've read a similar version to that...it's pretty good. |
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Reactance
join:2003-09-17
canada | reply to Walter Winchell
heheheheh. |
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Walter Winchell
@jillyred.net
| Welcome to Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!! |
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