*sigh* it's been a while since I was here last, and I see the replies haven't gotten at all creative. That computer that I was talking about doesn't have ethernet capabilities, and it's going to cost too much for my budget to get it, so USB is the only alternative. It's working good enough; I don't see a reason to keep this going. Thanks... or whatever.
You are aware that you can get an ethernet card for most any PC (IDE or PCI card) for about $3 ($7 with shipping) on newegg.com right? It's not that hard to install. Bresnan could probably bring one out and install it, but that may incur a service charge ($30 or so to roll a truck to your house).