Tuesday February 23rd
(jump earlier)
I'm mad as hell.
Next March 1st I end my job in my sister's office. That's what we agreed last year when they asked me to stay longer.
This time they didn't try to hold me, because my sister told them that if they wanted me to stay they'd have to offer "a lot of money" (which it's true. I'm tired of working with bossess who care less about their job than I do... and they own this place!)
After my brother left, my sister ask for a "correct" replacement. They bring the wife of the accountant, who ended up being a pain in the ass. She was gone in a couple of months. No one is replacing my brother and my sister and I ended up doing his job.
When that happened my sister asked for a raise for her and for me.
Her raise was approved, mine wasn't. Anyway, she kept asking me to do things i wasn't supposed to do until I got tired and said I wasn't doing anything out of my position.
Now, they're discussing my new-year bono (everybody got one, but me... they said they'd give it to me when I leave). My sister asked for a bono 50% of the raise she asked for me, for each month my brother wasn't in the office. They refused at first. My sister got mad and said since my brother is gone I've been doing more work than I was supposed to. Boss says "we didn't give Sol a raise because she didn't ask for one". CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? My sister reminded her about the raise request and she had to leave because her cell phone was ringing.
Anyway, she ended up approving my bonus. It will be a little bit more than a month pay check.
In the other hand, that very same boss asked me last week to stay another week. She asked me if I could. I said "we could talk about it" (thinking in asking A LOT of money for a week of work, I'm mad, did I mention it?) Thing is my replacement IS THE DAUGHTER OF ONE OF THE ASSOCIATES. She's a 24yo girl who NEVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE did anything... she's a child of what it used to be a very rich family. She came a couple of days and asked me the most weird questions, I didn't expect it, trust me: "Do I really have to turn the computer off every day?" "Do I have to close all windows?" And while showing me the dishes "I Imagine the maid cleans that?" (My answer was, NO, YOU CLEAN THAT, THE "MAID" DOESN'T COME EVERY SINGLE DAY"). LOL
After 2 days it was obvious this girl wasn't going to work out... she was supposed to replace me yesterday because I had to go to school. Then on Friday told me she couldn't come because she was called about another job she was dying to do.. yeah, you heard it right. She rather go to another place for a one-day job instead of coming to her training.
Then on Sunday night, she sent a text to my sister telling her she was coming.
I ended up early at school, so I ended up coming at my normal time. She arrived 20 minutes late, and she was supossed to open the office...
Then Boss tells me "tell your replacement, to chill out, that you're coming next week to ASSIST HER, and not to worry, we'll pay her that week"
I was like... WTF??????''' But, at the same time, she's getting desperate because she knows this girl is useless... and she's already looking for another replacement somewhere else (she's contacting employment offices, which doesn't make sense. They were looking for someone they could trust, someone coming from an employment office is an outsider... and they will have to pay this person more... THIS DROVE ME CRAZY WHEN I HEARD IT)
Next thing, I was telling my sister I didn't care, Monday I'M OUT OF HERE. No matter how much money they offer, i'm so out.
I'm mad as hell, did I mention it?
|
posted Tuesday February 23rd, @04:50PM
Thursday February 4th
(jump earlier later)
Do you remember that last year my dad refused to rent us the family apartment?
Well, today I received a phone call from my mom telling me my dad just found a grrrreat apartment for us, a friend of him is renting it (he owns a real state firm). When she said the price, and without knowing anything about the apartment, I told her it was too expensive for us, and she said it didn't matter, I should write an email no matter what (just to be polite).
So I wrote an email and they sent me a link. And guess what?
1) The apartment is SMALLER than my family's
2) The apartment is IN THE SAME building than my family's
3) The apartment pays more montly taxes than my family's
4) The apartment looks the ugly side of the neightborhood having sun all afternoon (and according to my dad, those apartments suck)
5) THE RENT IS TWICE WHAT MY FAMILY IS GETTING FOR OUR APARTMENT...
I'm spechless... Is he kidding me? What the heck is he trying to do?
S.
Update: MIL is getting worse, the psych told Pat we need to get her into a hospital. He's going to see her tomorrow, next week there's an appt with the neuro and we'll be able to see what to do from there. Right now Pat is in the waiting room of a lawyer. We're gonna fight the health insurance because they refuse to help and this all mess started with THEM giving her an infection. |
posted Thursday February 4th, @02:14PM
Wednesday January 27th
(jump earlier later)
He's falling apart... and we're falling apart with him
Pat's been really down lately because of the situation with his mom.
Things are getting worse, health wise. She's not doing any better physically or psicologically speaking.
She's been more lost than ever, really aggressive and demanding.
In the other hand, he can't get a "normal" job because he's taking care of her every day and can't afford to hire any help, and won't let me help him (I do groceries, now that the laundry shop is closed for vacations I take the laundry home and do it, etc... but nothing more than that).
His free lance projects never end... he works his ass off and for some reason, after making him work for free for weeks, people say "we better wait another year"... or things like that. It's frustrating.
My brother, SIL and nephew are in town since late December and I'm very entertain with them, so I don't really feel Pat's absence in my life, because he's not absence at all. But for some reason, he keeps feeling guilty for "not being able to spend more time with me". He doesn't realize that he's been coming over my house more often than ever (when his mom sleeps it's the only peace time of the day, so he can come over and spend the night at my house).
Also, the health insurance is not helping at all. We had to make a letter explaining how we spend his mom's money and realize that we're basically supporting her. Her retirement pay check covers only half of her expenses. That almost killed him and he realized why his saving were going away so fast. He's desperating really fast and refuses to get help. He says there's no point in calling his therapist... she can't help unless she has a job for him!
Today he has to call a lawyer.
He's been super down today and even got to the point to offer me "time and space". Even when neither one of us believe in those concepts. To me, if you need time apart, it's because the couple is not working... I don't believe the, let's get apart, grow up apart and then get back together.
2009&2010 Sol loves 2009&2010 Pat. But if we go separate ways, I have no idea who 2011Pat will be... or me.
I know his offer is out of guilt for what we're going through with his mom. But it's selfish as well. I'm almost certain he said that in the middle of a hard situation and didn't really mean it. But it hurts no matter what the situation was.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think/feel.
I've been the most patient person in the world and his mom situation doesn't bother me at all. The only thing that gets me is when I see him desperate because of the situation. That's the only thing that hurts me, but he doesn't understand.
This can't be happening again. |
posted Wednesday January 27th, @02:40PM
Monday December 28th
(jump earlier later)
I'm really tired... emotionally tired.
Pat absolutely loved his xmas and bday present. Those were two good days.
Better go back to work.
I'll be ok.
S. |
posted Monday December 28th, @02:04PM
Tuesday December 15th
(jump earlier later)
| I just bought online the xmas present! A wi-fi keyboard and mouse for the ocmputer, that way when we watch movies, we won't have to get up in order to pause LOL... |
posted Tuesday December 15th, @01:01PM
Friday December 11th
(jump earlier later)
Just yesterday I realized we're only 2 weeks away from Pat's bday (Dec. 23rd) and Christmas.
I knew for forever what I'd like to get him but it was sold out.
Today I'm happy to say I just found a place near my house with stock. I want to buy him a Global sashimi knife. It's crazy expensive but it's gonna last a lifetime. Plan B was a Mundial sashimi knife, but it's not the same... I mean Global is from JAPAN, Mundial from Brazil... anyway, today or tomorrow I'll buy it!
Since I met him Pat complained everybody would give him an only gift for bday and xmas. I promised I wouldn't do such thing, so now I'm thinking in a smaller xmas gift, so I have something for him under my house's tree.
S. |
posted Friday December 11th, @10:22AM
Wednesday December 9th
(jump earlier later)
We're doing better or we got used to the crazy life we have... Don't know.
Went through a biopsy, changed doc, the new one is not a lot better, but I like him a little bit more.
He said we should wait 6 months before taking any decisions. He gave me eggs and sent me home. Said he doesn't want to do anything aggressive. It's not that bad.
He also checked out Pat. He also has it. And he's starting a treatment next week. It was funny, when I left the room the doc asked Pat if he had sex with anybody else. Pat said "no since I met Sol". And the doc asked "I meant BEFORE Sol". Pat said "of course". The doc looks at him and says "Don't worry your secret is safe with me" LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Pat is 36!! I'd be scare if he was a virgin LMAO... I'm still laughing I swear!
Tomorrow I have an appt. with a new doc, just to have a second opinion.
In the other hand, Fox called. They want me back. Next Friday I have a meeting with the president and I'll let you know how everything goes...
Gotta go, Pat has a job meeting right now and I have to go to his house to feed his mom .... see ya around! |
posted Wednesday December 9th, @05:20PM
Thursday November 26th
(jump earlier later)
Today the center of our lives was dear MIL.
Pat was supossed to take her to the doctor at 9.30AM. So he asked for the ambulance (she needs to be taken that way), in time, I even sent a fax from my office to confirm once again.
Last time MIL had a doc appointment, the ambulance arrive 2 hours earlier.
Now, in order to move MIL, she has to be prepared, and that easily takes 2 hours.
1) Wake her up.
2) Change diaper
3) Give her the pills (she takes 7 in the morning and with empty stomach)
4) Give her breakfast (it takes her an hour... trust me, I have taken the time after the first time I arrived late to work).
5) Change her clothes.
So, it is IMPOSSIBLE to be out 2 hours earlier (and then what? wait in a waiting room for 2 hours???).
So, we wanted to avoid that, and tried to do things right.
They were supossed to arrived at 9.30. They arrived 7.50am. Pat called the service and they sent the ambulance away, saying they'd be back on time.
Last night I stayed at my house, because of the doc appointment, but I had Pat's cat at my house. And Pat wasn't going to be able to pick her up (because of the appointment), and I didn't want to be stressed out with the cat in the office, so I woke up earlier (actually the cat woke me up at 6.30) and as I couldn't go back to sleep, I just changed clothes and decided to bring the cat over.
I arrived at 9. At 10.10 the ambulance was not here and the appointment was at 10.20am.
I ended up calling. I spoke with the supervisor who couldn't believe what was going on. I even told her we missed a doctor appointment before because of the same problem, and told her that every time we ask for an appointment we have to wait 1 month... and my MIL is deteriorating fast. She appologized, told me she was sending an ambulance ASAP and asked me to call the doc office to ask her to wait.
I left 10.20 to work, they arrived to the appointment and everything went fine.
After that, Pat wasn't feeling well (I think his body is starting to feel the stress), so he stayed at home. His neighbord (a really nice lady, the only one helping him -a friend of his mom, she cooks for her every thuesday-) called him and asked him to help her with the new wifi connection. He went, came back in 15 minutes to look for something and found dear MIL on the floor, covered in blood.
Called an ambulance, and then me to let me know what was going on. I arrived 20 minutes later and the ambulance was already here.
Dear MIL don't know why, wanted to get up (AS ALWAYS) and fell, this time on a table... and she got hurt. She tried to get up by REACHING THE TV!!!!!!! Thank God the TV didn't fell on her!!!!
When they were getting ready to take her to the hospital, they asked Pat to change the PJ's and she dared to say she didn't want the one he was giving them. OMG... Guess who got REALLY MAD? Yeap, me... I almost yelled at her, telling her she was in NO position to ask ANYTHING. Pat smiled.
He went with them, I stayed cleaning up the blood mess. I never saw that much blood on the floor in my life, and it didn't go all away.
An hour later Pat called saying they were free to go but he had to wait for the ambulance. That was 3 hours ago. I called the same place I called today and the OS didn't ask the ambulance there, so I can't help. I can't make bed because when they come, they'll have to go through the living room (where we sleep)... I can't do anything to make things easier... He just sent me a text telling me he was running out of battery. I couldn't help it and I'm crying like a baby now.
Will this ever be any better or easier at least?
No news from my biopsy yet, Pat couldn't pick the results, so you can have an idea how sick he was feeling, and now this... I think I'll entertaint myself cleaning something up...
Thank you for listening.
I wrote that post last night at Pat's. He arrived at 1AM. The ambulance service never transmited the ambulance request.
Why is everything so hard? |
posted Thursday November 26th, @10:04AM
Wednesday November 25th
(jump earlier later)
Pat just called me. The results of the biopsy are ready. He's picking them up in a couple of hours.
Crossing fingers.
S. |
posted Wednesday November 25th, @11:57AM
Monday November 23rd
(jump earlier later)
M and I spoke last night through chat.
Her dad is getting married to a 23 year-old girl. He even proposed and ask permision to the girl's father.
The final signature of the divorce is in December.
About her health: she went to a doc because of her skin problems and found out her colon is not working. She did a treatment, and now, as she's felling well and her skin is so much better, she refuses to continue. No matter what. She says she's putting herself in the arms of God... Whatever...
It's weird. When she heard I "might" be sick, she was really concern, but she does know she "might" have cancer too, and doesn't care.
She's going to a therapist every single day and says she's doing great because she doesn't wnat to kill herself anymore... mmm
She's as crazy, as needy, as usual. She's in denyal as ever...
Don't know wha tto say.
S. |
posted Monday November 23rd, @11:41AM
Friday November 20th
(jump earlier later)
J's sis and I have been apart for a while. After she went back to her husband for the 100th time... after talking trash about him and blah blah blah.
A month ago, I found out through a friend, that her parents are divorcing. He asked me not to tell her he was the one telling me about it, so I waited until she contacted me to tell me so. She didn't.
Yesterday I decided it was about time to talk to her, so I emailed her. Yes, they're divorcing. Dad is not behaving well, he refuses to give any money, even when it comes to little Sol (their 3 year-old adoptive child), he doesn't want to give away any money. In the other hand, mom is going crazy, really mad and heartbroken. Actually, I rather her to be that way instead of being depressed and crying or something.
Also, M had some health issues. She found she had "3 points of cancer" in her body, which I don't really understand what it means. She says she doesn't have cancer, but those points were the places where she was going to have cancer. She went through a treatment and is doing well. She’s not cure yet, but things look great.
Her husband's been supportive in this process (from afar, he's not in the same country she is now)
This made me realized I haven't said anything about my current situation.
A couple of months ago, one of my tests came back wrong. My gyno doesn't wanna say anything about it, he doesn’t want to “jump” to conclusions. We made a biopsy and I tried really hard to get some answers from him. All I could get was a “it’s almost impossible this is nothing… the results mean something”… what they could mean? I have no idea. He didn’t say cancer but when a friend of mine (a doc) saw the results recommended me an oncologist.
Anyway, after leaving the consult from the biopsy, I called and said I wanted to change my doctor. So when the results come back, I have a new doc. The appointment is Dec. 2nd.
Pat is really nervous about all this matter. He came with me to the biopsy and is coming with me to the new doc. He even said, if we couldn’t have children because of this, he wouldn’t hesitate to adopt. I think he IS jumping into conclusions way too fast.
I’ll let you know how everything goes. |
posted Friday November 20th, @01:02PM
Tuesday November 17th
(jump earlier later)
Last Saturday we went to see 7 different apartments. One worse than the next.
A couple were incredibly dirty... another one I thought was a joke... and just a couple were "ok" enough.
We didn't love any of them.
The search will continue next week...
Wish us luck. |
posted Tuesday November 17th, @02:52PM
Wednesday November 11th
(jump earlier later)
Things are not better than last week. Althought we try to keep as positive as we can.
At the beginning of October we went to see a house we liked. The one thing I didn't like about that house was the fact that the main door opened directly on the side walk. So if you go by, and I have the door open, you'd be able to see EVERYTHING inside. That's not safe.
After my dad said no, I remembered that house and I proposed Pat to make an offer and to do a few changes, build a second door inside, build closets, etc... and he said it'd be a good idea.
I just found out the house is still available, which is really good.
Anyway, we don't wanna rush into anything, so this next Saturday we'll go to check out 4 or 5 apartments. If we keep thinking the best option is the other house, next week I'll call the owner and make an offer.
We'll see how that goes.
My SIL, my sister and one of my best friends think I should wait a couple of weeks and talk with my father again about renting my family's apartment, but I think it'd be a waiste of time... I really don't wanna talk with him about anything.
Pat and I thought about offering to pay an entire year of rent before moving. We have the money, but I don't think he deserves it, specially because it'd be a great efford from us and because we were planning in doing lots of arrangements there.
Does it make any sense? He loses.. but we lose as well. Am I too proud?
S. |
posted Wednesday November 11th, @03:06PM
Wednesday November 4th
(jump earlier later)
Family Issues
Since Pat and I have been together, my family has been really supportive. Until now. Well, they're still supportive except for my father.
We just communicated that our intention is to move in together next year. My family owns a 4-bedroom apartment. We rent it and with that money we pay for all the expenses of the house where we live.
Since Pat and I took the decision of moving in together, we started checking out different places and found out that for a 1-bedroom apartment, we have to pay almost 50% more than what my family get for our apartment. CRAZY.
So, I had the brilliant idea of renting my family's apartment. OBVIOUSLY I wasn't going to pay the same rent... but that 50% extra too! I made the offer.
Well, my dad turned it down saying HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE CONCERN OF MY NEEDS... HE WON'T KICK THE RENTERS OUT OF THE APARTMENT BECAUSE OF WHAT "I" NEED.
Yeap, you read it right. He's gonna continue getting a low rent...
Above all, he keeps saying he really cares for that family... he's really expecting them to offer to raise the rent... HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!
I should ask him why he feels he has to be concern of someone else's needs and not his daughter's.
That family can pay more rent than what they do right now. The father works, also gets a retirement payment and they also RENT THEIR OWN APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I should call them and ask how much they want for their apartment, huh?
I swear right now I'm out of my mind. Pat and I always knew we could get a NO for an answer and we were totally ok with it... but what I hate is THE WAY that no is coming...
Right now I can say my children will have a grandma but no grandpa. I'll try to calm down and later talk to him again. But it doesn't look ok at all.
Uff... I still can't believe it. |
posted Wednesday November 4th, @04:58PM
Tuesday September 22nd
(jump earlier later)
Things are really hard these last few days.
Good side of things, we’re staying at my aunt’s house while she’s out of the country til October. So we have our place.
Bad side of things, MIL is totally out of herself. She doesn’t have any rational moments right now. She keeps throwing herself out of bed saying Pat’s dad (who died nearly 20 years ago) asked her to get ready to go out… she also said her parents took her to the carrousel, and that’s why she was on the floor.
One morning we went to give her breakfast and she was almost on the floor, desperate to get ready. She said she had to go the movies. When we explained she wasn’t going anywhere she said “OK… but my friend will have to watch it alone”. She doesn’t believe anything you say, she’ll keep her own version of everything.
She had good days (when she’s quiet) and bad days, when she’s totally aggressive.
A couple of nights ago, she called almost at midnight. I picked up because Pat was taking a shower. We started talking and she sounded OK. Told me she was OK, a little bit bored. I asked her why she was calling and she remembered “Oh, I’m on the floor”.
Pat had to get his ass back home, and then stayed there. There was no point in coming back so late.
Then, while Pat was working, she called her and she said she was getting ready (again) to go to the movies. He was a little bit far, and couldn't go to stop her from getting our of bed. He asked me to call her and I did. She was... a little bit lucid, more than I expected. I asked her how she was doing and said OK, except for the "falling out of bed", and that type of things... we spoke for half an hour. I called Pat and said everything was fine. When he arrived home, she was on the floor and said she's been on the floor for hours, even when she spoke with him and me. We don't know what else to do... honestly.
A couple of days later, we received a phone call in the morning. It was from Pat’s next door lady. She called MIL to check her out and she told her she was on the floor. She called a couple of friends and made a huge circus, but helped her get into the bed. After that, Pat didn’t spend the night again with me… it’s a little bit hard because when he’s around she’s a lady. When he’s out, she behaves like a crazy woman.
Yesterday Pat installed a bed railing, now she can’t throw herself out of bed, although she tried.
My grnadma is also getting worse and worse. I just called her to ask for a phone number and she kept missunderstanding what I was asking, confusing who I was talking about. It's hard... really hard.
In the other hand (third one so far LOL), work’s been really stressful lately and I’m getting tired. My brother resigned and even when we tried to get a good replacement, it wasn’t useful… our bosses hired a friend of a friend who has NO IDEA of ANYTHING (the same old story, huh?). Now we have someone working half the time… and I really can’t do everything. I’m starting to fail on purpose; I’m not going to get sick in order to help them overcome the biggest mistake they made this year so far.
I feel burden right now. I better go away.
Oh… I came to update this because I’m starting to feel a great desire to have a child. Big bomb, huh? First time in my life! Now I’m starting to look websites to adopt a kitty LOL… we’ll see if the baby desire goes away with that. It’s too soon, it’s not the right time.
See ya around!
S. |
posted Tuesday September 22nd, @05:37PM
Thursday September 3rd
(jump earlier later)
Things are getting a little bit weird around "MIL matter".
Last weekend I stayed alone with her. Friday night, the first night I had to feed her, she refused to take her pills (the ones that make her sleep) "until Pat comes back". She wanted to see him. I had to call him and ask him to tell his mom to take the damn pills.
Then, she asked me to help her get into the bathroom. It took me 20 minutes one way, and 20 minutes the other way. I helped her with the diaper (damn me for talking about it before...) and she finally fell asleep.
It wasn't *that* bad, but it was a little bit stressful. She kept asking more/less food all the time. Sometimes it feels she thinks everybody MUST take care of her.
Pat arrived after his mom was asleep.
Next morning, he woke her up, explained her about his job and left. When I was ready to leave too (I was going out to have some time alone), she calls me and shows me she peed herself. I had to take her out of bed (around 10 minutes, she doesn't help me at all...), change all the sheets and wash the pillow. I ended up leaving the house around 45 minutes later than expected. It's almost like having a baby, you know? Have you noted that after a couple have the first baby they never arrive on time again? Well the same happens with MIL now.
I came back 3 hours later and she was sleeping, so I took the time to watch TV, knit a little bit, and when she heard me talking on the phone with Pat, she woke up and kept calling me for the most stupid things you can think of.
It really hit my nerve. I felt so helpless. I had to change the sheets again when I came back.
I also had Pat saying "I'll be there at 3". Then "It's getting later than I thought. I'll be there at 5", and so on. He ended up coming back around 8.30
I heard her on the phone saying I was a darling, but "had no clue". She kept calling me to say "Sol, eat something", "Sol take a nap" (this one was almost funny because she woke me up calling out my name).
After that day I realized I had to say out loud what I thought about this matter.
I understand the fact she's his mom, and he feels he has to do everything he can for her. But, Pat right now works from home and still is able to be with her most of the time, but from now on, he'll have to work outside more often. And when that happens, I won't be able to help ALL THE TIME (and to be honest, I don't want to).
So... keeping her in the house won't be in her best interest either.
Pat explained he thought I was right, but in the other hand, he's by himself... it's his decision... and it's too hard for him to take it alone. He wants to keep her in the house as long as he can, and later, when we move out; he wants to hire someone to stay with her 24/7 (let's hope we're able to pay for that!), and as a last resource, to get her into an hospice.
He even said things will be harder (when the thought was "everything will be easier once we move in together) and I should start thinking if I'm gonna be able to handle that.
It almost broke my heart... because I don't know. And he deserves to have me and the entire world by his side.
In the other hand, Pat is getting really tired. Things don't get easier, but harder every single day. Today she woke us up around 7AM, yelling. She fell from the bed. Why? Because she thought she saw something on the floor and tried to reach it.
A couple of days ago, she almost threw herself off bed when a friend went to see her. Her friend was surprised by how bad she saw her.
I don't know... Since the day I met her, I really tried to be supportive of this situation. But it's hard for me to see how hard it is for Pat. It hurts me.
I'm already spending less time around them, because it really hurts to see him in that situation.
Will it ever be any easier?
S. |
posted Thursday September 3rd, @05:48PM
Friday August 28th
(jump earlier later)
Yesterday morning, right after Pat left his house; MIL thought it was a good idea to get up by herself. She fell in the middle of the corridor, and stayed there for at least an hour until Pat came back.
Yes, she does this type of things. We know when she gets up by herself (because she changes things), but she always denies it. A couple of days ago, she got up and had a fight with Pat because of that. She might behave a couple of days after the fall. We’ll see.
Today Pat and I were supposed to leave his house around 8.30, I was going to see what he’s been working on…. so we were going to get up around 7 (to have time to give his mom breakfast and get out without running as usual), but we fell asleep. I woke up around 8. So I stayed with MIL and he went to his job (he’s working in the biggest architectural exhibition in Buenos Aires).
Today was the first day I stayed alone with her. I woke her up, gave her all her pills (6) and served breakfast, then helped her to get back into bed and left. If Pat doesn’t end early, tonight, I might have to feed her… but I’m no worried. She is really thankful I’m helping, although she’s been a little bit aggressive the last week or so.
Pat’s aunt told me the story of how she had to take care of her MIL. And she was really clear about what I should or shouldn’t do with MIL. She said I have to take care of myself, she doesn’t want me to change diapers or anything like that. She said, you can help Pat but not too much, or you’ll get tired of the situation too quickly, then you’ll feel he owns you something and it won’t be cool. It’s ok to help, but DO NOT be in charge of anything.
Thank God MIL likes to give me the impression that she’s ok, so she doesn’t ask help with diapers.
Thing is, Pat is an only child, his mom has no family left but him. If I don’t help, who will?
In the other hand, last night we spoke about our next vacations and took the decision we’ll do a 2 week trip around October or November, low season: everything’s cheaper. Besides, we’re already thinking in moving in together around March next year so we won’t have time to travel around that time… So we’re already looking for someone to take care of MIL while we’re away. Wish us luck on that!!
See ya aaaall around!!
S. |
posted Friday August 28th, @03:36PM
Monday July 13th
(jump earlier later)
Things with… it doesn’t sound OK to call him DBF… kinda DBF v.2.0? Mmm… Let’s call him Pat.
Things with Pat are going really well. I never thought I could be so comfortable with someone. Sometimes it feels we’ve been together for ages… and people tend to think that as well. We’ve been officially a couple for 2 months and a few days, but most people believe we’ve been together at least a year and they’re already asking when we’ll give the step of moving in together.
What can I say about him? His life hasn’t been easy. He’s an only child of a couple who stayed together “because of him”. They fought all the time, even when his dad was out of the house most of the time (he used to travel all week long). He died when Pat was 20.
After that, Pat had to work while studying to help his mom. At 26 he moved out, and worked like crazy. He even had his own carpenter shop (he’s a designer).
Until last year (the worst one), when he separated his exgf, moved out… and then the shop was on fire (literally). By December he had to close the shop.
In last January his mom had an accident, had surgery and then a huge infection that almost killed her. Since then, she hasn’t been well. She can’t walk by herself (not even go to the bathroom). After a month of coming and going, at the age of 36 he had to move back to help her.
And that’s where we are now.
He lives with her and works from home (as a freelancer)… so imagine how stress he can be. She’s not easy, trust me. But at least, she adores me, so she likes when I’m around (almost every day) and she let me help him around.
Yes, it’s not an ideal situation, but it forces us to go slower than we want LOL!
After staying at my cousin’s house, we stayed at my aunt’s for like 20 days. Since then I’ve been staying at his house (yeah, his mom) at least 2 or 3 days per week… last week my brother’s been sick and “needed” my room, so I basically stayed all week long. I was going back home tonight, but as tomorrow I have to go to the bank really early (and I have a bank right next to his house), what the heck, I’ll just stay in his house as well LOL.
On Saturday we went to my house to have dinner with my family and while we were showing them the pictures we took during the previous week (most of the pictures were of his cat) my mom made the comment of “you two should stop fooling around and have a kid, so you stop showing pictures of a cat”… that was almost a half hour after she made the comment of “when are you going to stop playing around and move in together…”
Yeap, that’s my mom, always wanting to kick me out!
I better run, I’m going out in 5 min. See ya arouuuuuuuund
Chris: where the hell are you!?
S. |
posted Monday July 13th, @05:55PM
Tuesday May 26th
(jump earlier later)
Again, life's been anything but boring, quiet or ordinary.
My family is in great stress right now because of some legal issues my dad's been having in the last couple of years. Everything just went to hell in the last 10 days or so.
But we're doing OK. We're trying to keep with our daily lives as usual, instead of letting this put us down.
In the other hand, my sister in law's dad has cancer. He went to a doc after his regular one told him he was OK (even when he kept saying he wasn't feeling OK).
Day 1, he goes to a consultation.
Day 2, he was in the hospital, for a "routine" surgery.
Day 3, we are told he has pancreas cancer. No news on how much time they give him. SIL still doesn't know. She was supposed to travel to BA a couple of days ago but she's having problems with the car and can't drive to a bigger city to catch a plane or a bus.
Update in the special one I met: I can officially say we’re a couple. It's fast, I know. But we couldn't help it.
Have I mentioned he was born the very same day J was?
He's been at my house, I've been in his too.
My cousin travels outside BA half of the month, every month. This month he asked me to stay and take care of his plants, and for the first time I said yes. So for the past week, DBF and I have been living together there, playing “little house” as we say.
Good idea, but at the same time we know it’s gonna be hard to go to our houses after all these days living together. It’s been fantastic, really fun and relaxed.
Now, I’m waiting for him to pick me up at my office to go back “home”. Tonight it’s his turn to make dinner, so I’ll clean up a little bit and relax.
I’m really surprised by the fact that no matter how the world falls apart around me, he keeps me sane and strong. I love him, I do.
S. |
posted Tuesday May 26th, @06:28PM
Wednesday April 29th
(jump earlier later)
Life's been anything but quiet lately.
I've met someone who really really likes me.
And I like him.
Baby steps here...!! From time to time I have little attacks of fear (no pannic though) He knows everything about me (I was surprised to tell him EVERYTHING about J and about xDBF). And he told me about his past relationships as well.
I have opened in a way I thought I wasn't going to be able to.
I'll try to keep you update, but I wouldn't count on that! I'm really scare and I'm trying (making a big effort) to go as slow as I can!
See ya around.
S |
posted Wednesday April 29th, @04:45PM
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