Wednesday December 9th
(jump earlier)
We're doing better or we got used to the crazy life we have... Don't know.
Went through a biopsy, changed doc, the new one is not a lot better, but I like him a little bit more.
He said we should wait 6 months before taking any decisions. He gave me eggs and sent me home. Said he doesn't want to do anything aggressive. It's not that bad.
He also checked out Pat. He also has it. And he's starting a treatment next week. It was funny, when I left the room the doc asked Pat if he had sex with anybody else. Pat said "no since I met Sol". And the doc asked "I meant BEFORE Sol". Pat said "of course". The doc looks at him and says "Don't worry your secret is safe with me" LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Pat is 36!! I'd be scare if he was a virgin LMAO... I'm still laughing I swear!
Tomorrow I have an appt. with a new doc, just to have a second opinion.
In the other hand, Fox called. They want me back. Next Friday I have a meeting with the president and I'll let you know how everything goes...
Gotta go, Pat has a job meeting right now and I have to go to his house to feed his mom .... see ya around! |
posted Wednesday December 9th, @05:20PM
Thursday November 26th
(jump earlier later)
Today the center of our lives was dear MIL.
Pat was supossed to take her to the doctor at 9.30AM. So he asked for the ambulance (she needs to be taken that way), in time, I even sent a fax from my office to confirm once again.
Last time MIL had a doc appointment, the ambulance arrive 2 hours earlier.
Now, in order to move MIL, she has to be prepared, and that easily takes 2 hours.
1) Wake her up.
2) Change diaper
3) Give her the pills (she takes 7 in the morning and with empty stomach)
4) Give her breakfast (it takes her an hour... trust me, I have taken the time after the first time I arrived late to work).
5) Change her clothes.
So, it is IMPOSSIBLE to be out 2 hours earlier (and then what? wait in a waiting room for 2 hours???).
So, we wanted to avoid that, and tried to do things right.
They were supossed to arrived at 9.30. They arrived 7.50am. Pat called the service and they sent the ambulance away, saying they'd be back on time.
Last night I stayed at my house, because of the doc appointment, but I had Pat's cat at my house. And Pat wasn't going to be able to pick her up (because of the appointment), and I didn't want to be stressed out with the cat in the office, so I woke up earlier (actually the cat woke me up at 6.30) and as I couldn't go back to sleep, I just changed clothes and decided to bring the cat over.
I arrived at 9. At 10.10 the ambulance was not here and the appointment was at 10.20am.
I ended up calling. I spoke with the supervisor who couldn't believe what was going on. I even told her we missed a doctor appointment before because of the same problem, and told her that every time we ask for an appointment we have to wait 1 month... and my MIL is deteriorating fast. She appologized, told me she was sending an ambulance ASAP and asked me to call the doc office to ask her to wait.
I left 10.20 to work, they arrived to the appointment and everything went fine.
After that, Pat wasn't feeling well (I think his body is starting to feel the stress), so he stayed at home. His neighbord (a really nice lady, the only one helping him -a friend of his mom, she cooks for her every thuesday-) called him and asked him to help her with the new wifi connection. He went, came back in 15 minutes to look for something and found dear MIL on the floor, covered in blood.
Called an ambulance, and then me to let me know what was going on. I arrived 20 minutes later and the ambulance was already here.
Dear MIL don't know why, wanted to get up (AS ALWAYS) and fell, this time on a table... and she got hurt. She tried to get up by REACHING THE TV!!!!!!! Thank God the TV didn't fell on her!!!!
When they were getting ready to take her to the hospital, they asked Pat to change the PJ's and she dared to say she didn't want the one he was giving them. OMG... Guess who got REALLY MAD? Yeap, me... I almost yelled at her, telling her she was in NO position to ask ANYTHING. Pat smiled.
He went with them, I stayed cleaning up the blood mess. I never saw that much blood on the floor in my life, and it didn't go all away.
An hour later Pat called saying they were free to go but he had to wait for the ambulance. That was 3 hours ago. I called the same place I called today and the OS didn't ask the ambulance there, so I can't help. I can't make bed because when they come, they'll have to go through the living room (where we sleep)... I can't do anything to make things easier... He just sent me a text telling me he was running out of battery. I couldn't help it and I'm crying like a baby now.
Will this ever be any better or easier at least?
No news from my biopsy yet, Pat couldn't pick the results, so you can have an idea how sick he was feeling, and now this... I think I'll entertaint myself cleaning something up...
Thank you for listening.
I wrote that post last night at Pat's. He arrived at 1AM. The ambulance service never transmited the ambulance request.
Why is everything so hard? |
posted Thursday November 26th, @10:04AM
Wednesday November 25th
(jump earlier later)
Pat just called me. The results of the biopsy are ready. He's picking them up in a couple of hours.
Crossing fingers.
S. |
posted Wednesday November 25th, @11:57AM
Monday November 23rd
(jump earlier later)
M and I spoke last night through chat.
Her dad is getting married to a 23 year-old girl. He even proposed and ask permision to the girl's father.
The final signature of the divorce is in December.
About her health: she went to a doc because of her skin problems and found out her colon is not working. She did a treatment, and now, as she's felling well and her skin is so much better, she refuses to continue. No matter what. She says she's putting herself in the arms of God... Whatever...
It's weird. When she heard I "might" be sick, she was really concern, but she does know she "might" have cancer too, and doesn't care.
She's going to a therapist every single day and says she's doing great because she doesn't wnat to kill herself anymore... mmm
She's as crazy, as needy, as usual. She's in denyal as ever...
Don't know wha tto say.
S. |
posted Monday November 23rd, @11:41AM
Friday November 20th
(jump earlier later)
J's sis and I have been apart for a while. After she went back to her husband for the 100th time... after talking trash about him and blah blah blah.
A month ago, I found out through a friend, that her parents are divorcing. He asked me not to tell her he was the one telling me about it, so I waited until she contacted me to tell me so. She didn't.
Yesterday I decided it was about time to talk to her, so I emailed her. Yes, they're divorcing. Dad is not behaving well, he refuses to give any money, even when it comes to little Sol (their 3 year-old adoptive child), he doesn't want to give away any money. In the other hand, mom is going crazy, really mad and heartbroken. Actually, I rather her to be that way instead of being depressed and crying or something.
Also, M had some health issues. She found she had "3 points of cancer" in her body, which I don't really understand what it means. She says she doesn't have cancer, but those points were the places where she was going to have cancer. She went through a treatment and is doing well. She’s not cure yet, but things look great.
Her husband's been supportive in this process (from afar, he's not in the same country she is now)
This made me realized I haven't said anything about my current situation.
A couple of months ago, one of my tests came back wrong. My gyno doesn't wanna say anything about it, he doesn’t want to “jump” to conclusions. We made a biopsy and I tried really hard to get some answers from him. All I could get was a “it’s almost impossible this is nothing… the results mean something”… what they could mean? I have no idea. He didn’t say cancer but when a friend of mine (a doc) saw the results recommended me an oncologist.
Anyway, after leaving the consult from the biopsy, I called and said I wanted to change my doctor. So when the results come back, I have a new doc. The appointment is Dec. 2nd.
Pat is really nervous about all this matter. He came with me to the biopsy and is coming with me to the new doc. He even said, if we couldn’t have children because of this, he wouldn’t hesitate to adopt. I think he IS jumping into conclusions way too fast.
I’ll let you know how everything goes. |
posted Friday November 20th, @01:02PM
Tuesday November 17th
(jump earlier later)
Last Saturday we went to see 7 different apartments. One worse than the next.
A couple were incredibly dirty... another one I thought was a joke... and just a couple were "ok" enough.
We didn't love any of them.
The search will continue next week...
Wish us luck. |
posted Tuesday November 17th, @02:52PM
Wednesday November 11th
(jump earlier later)
Things are not better than last week. Althought we try to keep as positive as we can.
At the beginning of October we went to see a house we liked. The one thing I didn't like about that house was the fact that the main door opened directly on the side walk. So if you go by, and I have the door open, you'd be able to see EVERYTHING inside. That's not safe.
After my dad said no, I remembered that house and I proposed Pat to make an offer and to do a few changes, build a second door inside, build closets, etc... and he said it'd be a good idea.
I just found out the house is still available, which is really good.
Anyway, we don't wanna rush into anything, so this next Saturday we'll go to check out 4 or 5 apartments. If we keep thinking the best option is the other house, next week I'll call the owner and make an offer.
We'll see how that goes.
My SIL, my sister and one of my best friends think I should wait a couple of weeks and talk with my father again about renting my family's apartment, but I think it'd be a waiste of time... I really don't wanna talk with him about anything.
Pat and I thought about offering to pay an entire year of rent before moving. We have the money, but I don't think he deserves it, specially because it'd be a great efford from us and because we were planning in doing lots of arrangements there.
Does it make any sense? He loses.. but we lose as well. Am I too proud?
S. |
posted Wednesday November 11th, @03:06PM
Wednesday November 4th
(jump earlier later)
Family Issues
Since Pat and I have been together, my family has been really supportive. Until now. Well, they're still supportive except for my father.
We just communicated that our intention is to move in together next year. My family owns a 4-bedroom apartment. We rent it and with that money we pay for all the expenses of the house where we live.
Since Pat and I took the decision of moving in together, we started checking out different places and found out that for a 1-bedroom apartment, we have to pay almost 50% more than what my family get for our apartment. CRAZY.
So, I had the brilliant idea of renting my family's apartment. OBVIOUSLY I wasn't going to pay the same rent... but that 50% extra too! I made the offer.
Well, my dad turned it down saying HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE CONCERN OF MY NEEDS... HE WON'T KICK THE RENTERS OUT OF THE APARTMENT BECAUSE OF WHAT "I" NEED.
Yeap, you read it right. He's gonna continue getting a low rent...
Above all, he keeps saying he really cares for that family... he's really expecting them to offer to raise the rent... HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!
I should ask him why he feels he has to be concern of someone else's needs and not his daughter's.
That family can pay more rent than what they do right now. The father works, also gets a retirement payment and they also RENT THEIR OWN APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I should call them and ask how much they want for their apartment, huh?
I swear right now I'm out of my mind. Pat and I always knew we could get a NO for an answer and we were totally ok with it... but what I hate is THE WAY that no is coming...
Right now I can say my children will have a grandma but no grandpa. I'll try to calm down and later talk to him again. But it doesn't look ok at all.
Uff... I still can't believe it. |
posted Wednesday November 4th, @04:58PM
Tuesday September 22nd
(jump earlier later)
Things are really hard these last few days.
Good side of things, we’re staying at my aunt’s house while she’s out of the country til October. So we have our place.
Bad side of things, MIL is totally out of herself. She doesn’t have any rational moments right now. She keeps throwing herself out of bed saying Pat’s dad (who died nearly 20 years ago) asked her to get ready to go out… she also said her parents took her to the carrousel, and that’s why she was on the floor.
One morning we went to give her breakfast and she was almost on the floor, desperate to get ready. She said she had to go the movies. When we explained she wasn’t going anywhere she said “OK… but my friend will have to watch it alone”. She doesn’t believe anything you say, she’ll keep her own version of everything.
She had good days (when she’s quiet) and bad days, when she’s totally aggressive.
A couple of nights ago, she called almost at midnight. I picked up because Pat was taking a shower. We started talking and she sounded OK. Told me she was OK, a little bit bored. I asked her why she was calling and she remembered “Oh, I’m on the floor”.
Pat had to get his ass back home, and then stayed there. There was no point in coming back so late.
Then, while Pat was working, she called her and she said she was getting ready (again) to go to the movies. He was a little bit far, and couldn't go to stop her from getting our of bed. He asked me to call her and I did. She was... a little bit lucid, more than I expected. I asked her how she was doing and said OK, except for the "falling out of bed", and that type of things... we spoke for half an hour. I called Pat and said everything was fine. When he arrived home, she was on the floor and said she's been on the floor for hours, even when she spoke with him and me. We don't know what else to do... honestly.
A couple of days later, we received a phone call in the morning. It was from Pat’s next door lady. She called MIL to check her out and she told her she was on the floor. She called a couple of friends and made a huge circus, but helped her get into the bed. After that, Pat didn’t spend the night again with me… it’s a little bit hard because when he’s around she’s a lady. When he’s out, she behaves like a crazy woman.
Yesterday Pat installed a bed railing, now she can’t throw herself out of bed, although she tried.
My grnadma is also getting worse and worse. I just called her to ask for a phone number and she kept missunderstanding what I was asking, confusing who I was talking about. It's hard... really hard.
In the other hand (third one so far LOL), work’s been really stressful lately and I’m getting tired. My brother resigned and even when we tried to get a good replacement, it wasn’t useful… our bosses hired a friend of a friend who has NO IDEA of ANYTHING (the same old story, huh?). Now we have someone working half the time… and I really can’t do everything. I’m starting to fail on purpose; I’m not going to get sick in order to help them overcome the biggest mistake they made this year so far.
I feel burden right now. I better go away.
Oh… I came to update this because I’m starting to feel a great desire to have a child. Big bomb, huh? First time in my life! Now I’m starting to look websites to adopt a kitty LOL… we’ll see if the baby desire goes away with that. It’s too soon, it’s not the right time.
See ya around!
S. |
posted Tuesday September 22nd, @05:37PM
Thursday September 3rd
(jump earlier later)
Things are getting a little bit weird around "MIL matter".
Last weekend I stayed alone with her. Friday night, the first night I had to feed her, she refused to take her pills (the ones that make her sleep) "until Pat comes back". She wanted to see him. I had to call him and ask him to tell his mom to take the damn pills.
Then, she asked me to help her get into the bathroom. It took me 20 minutes one way, and 20 minutes the other way. I helped her with the diaper (damn me for talking about it before...) and she finally fell asleep.
It wasn't *that* bad, but it was a little bit stressful. She kept asking more/less food all the time. Sometimes it feels she thinks everybody MUST take care of her.
Pat arrived after his mom was asleep.
Next morning, he woke her up, explained her about his job and left. When I was ready to leave too (I was going out to have some time alone), she calls me and shows me she peed herself. I had to take her out of bed (around 10 minutes, she doesn't help me at all...), change all the sheets and wash the pillow. I ended up leaving the house around 45 minutes later than expected. It's almost like having a baby, you know? Have you noted that after a couple have the first baby they never arrive on time again? Well the same happens with MIL now.
I came back 3 hours later and she was sleeping, so I took the time to watch TV, knit a little bit, and when she heard me talking on the phone with Pat, she woke up and kept calling me for the most stupid things you can think of.
It really hit my nerve. I felt so helpless. I had to change the sheets again when I came back.
I also had Pat saying "I'll be there at 3". Then "It's getting later than I thought. I'll be there at 5", and so on. He ended up coming back around 8.30
I heard her on the phone saying I was a darling, but "had no clue". She kept calling me to say "Sol, eat something", "Sol take a nap" (this one was almost funny because she woke me up calling out my name).
After that day I realized I had to say out loud what I thought about this matter.
I understand the fact she's his mom, and he feels he has to do everything he can for her. But, Pat right now works from home and still is able to be with her most of the time, but from now on, he'll have to work outside more often. And when that happens, I won't be able to help ALL THE TIME (and to be honest, I don't want to).
So... keeping her in the house won't be in her best interest either.
Pat explained he thought I was right, but in the other hand, he's by himself... it's his decision... and it's too hard for him to take it alone. He wants to keep her in the house as long as he can, and later, when we move out; he wants to hire someone to stay with her 24/7 (let's hope we're able to pay for that!), and as a last resource, to get her into an hospice.
He even said things will be harder (when the thought was "everything will be easier once we move in together) and I should start thinking if I'm gonna be able to handle that.
It almost broke my heart... because I don't know. And he deserves to have me and the entire world by his side.
In the other hand, Pat is getting really tired. Things don't get easier, but harder every single day. Today she woke us up around 7AM, yelling. She fell from the bed. Why? Because she thought she saw something on the floor and tried to reach it.
A couple of days ago, she almost threw herself off bed when a friend went to see her. Her friend was surprised by how bad she saw her.
I don't know... Since the day I met her, I really tried to be supportive of this situation. But it's hard for me to see how hard it is for Pat. It hurts me.
I'm already spending less time around them, because it really hurts to see him in that situation.
Will it ever be any easier?
S. |
posted Thursday September 3rd, @05:48PM
Friday August 28th
(jump earlier later)
Yesterday morning, right after Pat left his house; MIL thought it was a good idea to get up by herself. She fell in the middle of the corridor, and stayed there for at least an hour until Pat came back.
Yes, she does this type of things. We know when she gets up by herself (because she changes things), but she always denies it. A couple of days ago, she got up and had a fight with Pat because of that. She might behave a couple of days after the fall. We’ll see.
Today Pat and I were supposed to leave his house around 8.30, I was going to see what he’s been working on…. so we were going to get up around 7 (to have time to give his mom breakfast and get out without running as usual), but we fell asleep. I woke up around 8. So I stayed with MIL and he went to his job (he’s working in the biggest architectural exhibition in Buenos Aires).
Today was the first day I stayed alone with her. I woke her up, gave her all her pills (6) and served breakfast, then helped her to get back into bed and left. If Pat doesn’t end early, tonight, I might have to feed her… but I’m no worried. She is really thankful I’m helping, although she’s been a little bit aggressive the last week or so.
Pat’s aunt told me the story of how she had to take care of her MIL. And she was really clear about what I should or shouldn’t do with MIL. She said I have to take care of myself, she doesn’t want me to change diapers or anything like that. She said, you can help Pat but not too much, or you’ll get tired of the situation too quickly, then you’ll feel he owns you something and it won’t be cool. It’s ok to help, but DO NOT be in charge of anything.
Thank God MIL likes to give me the impression that she’s ok, so she doesn’t ask help with diapers.
Thing is, Pat is an only child, his mom has no family left but him. If I don’t help, who will?
In the other hand, last night we spoke about our next vacations and took the decision we’ll do a 2 week trip around October or November, low season: everything’s cheaper. Besides, we’re already thinking in moving in together around March next year so we won’t have time to travel around that time… So we’re already looking for someone to take care of MIL while we’re away. Wish us luck on that!!
See ya aaaall around!!
S. |
posted Friday August 28th, @03:36PM
Monday July 13th
(jump earlier later)
Things with… it doesn’t sound OK to call him DBF… kinda DBF v.2.0? Mmm… Let’s call him Pat.
Things with Pat are going really well. I never thought I could be so comfortable with someone. Sometimes it feels we’ve been together for ages… and people tend to think that as well. We’ve been officially a couple for 2 months and a few days, but most people believe we’ve been together at least a year and they’re already asking when we’ll give the step of moving in together.
What can I say about him? His life hasn’t been easy. He’s an only child of a couple who stayed together “because of him”. They fought all the time, even when his dad was out of the house most of the time (he used to travel all week long). He died when Pat was 20.
After that, Pat had to work while studying to help his mom. At 26 he moved out, and worked like crazy. He even had his own carpenter shop (he’s a designer).
Until last year (the worst one), when he separated his exgf, moved out… and then the shop was on fire (literally). By December he had to close the shop.
In last January his mom had an accident, had surgery and then a huge infection that almost killed her. Since then, she hasn’t been well. She can’t walk by herself (not even go to the bathroom). After a month of coming and going, at the age of 36 he had to move back to help her.
And that’s where we are now.
He lives with her and works from home (as a freelancer)… so imagine how stress he can be. She’s not easy, trust me. But at least, she adores me, so she likes when I’m around (almost every day) and she let me help him around.
Yes, it’s not an ideal situation, but it forces us to go slower than we want LOL!
After staying at my cousin’s house, we stayed at my aunt’s for like 20 days. Since then I’ve been staying at his house (yeah, his mom) at least 2 or 3 days per week… last week my brother’s been sick and “needed” my room, so I basically stayed all week long. I was going back home tonight, but as tomorrow I have to go to the bank really early (and I have a bank right next to his house), what the heck, I’ll just stay in his house as well LOL.
On Saturday we went to my house to have dinner with my family and while we were showing them the pictures we took during the previous week (most of the pictures were of his cat) my mom made the comment of “you two should stop fooling around and have a kid, so you stop showing pictures of a cat”… that was almost a half hour after she made the comment of “when are you going to stop playing around and move in together…”
Yeap, that’s my mom, always wanting to kick me out!
I better run, I’m going out in 5 min. See ya arouuuuuuuund
Chris: where the hell are you!?
S. |
posted Monday July 13th, @05:55PM
Tuesday May 26th
(jump earlier later)
Again, life's been anything but boring, quiet or ordinary.
My family is in great stress right now because of some legal issues my dad's been having in the last couple of years. Everything just went to hell in the last 10 days or so.
But we're doing OK. We're trying to keep with our daily lives as usual, instead of letting this put us down.
In the other hand, my sister in law's dad has cancer. He went to a doc after his regular one told him he was OK (even when he kept saying he wasn't feeling OK).
Day 1, he goes to a consultation.
Day 2, he was in the hospital, for a "routine" surgery.
Day 3, we are told he has pancreas cancer. No news on how much time they give him. SIL still doesn't know. She was supposed to travel to BA a couple of days ago but she's having problems with the car and can't drive to a bigger city to catch a plane or a bus.
Update in the special one I met: I can officially say we’re a couple. It's fast, I know. But we couldn't help it.
Have I mentioned he was born the very same day J was?
He's been at my house, I've been in his too.
My cousin travels outside BA half of the month, every month. This month he asked me to stay and take care of his plants, and for the first time I said yes. So for the past week, DBF and I have been living together there, playing “little house” as we say.
Good idea, but at the same time we know it’s gonna be hard to go to our houses after all these days living together. It’s been fantastic, really fun and relaxed.
Now, I’m waiting for him to pick me up at my office to go back “home”. Tonight it’s his turn to make dinner, so I’ll clean up a little bit and relax.
I’m really surprised by the fact that no matter how the world falls apart around me, he keeps me sane and strong. I love him, I do.
S. |
posted Tuesday May 26th, @06:28PM
Wednesday April 29th
(jump earlier later)
Life's been anything but quiet lately.
I've met someone who really really likes me.
And I like him.
Baby steps here...!! From time to time I have little attacks of fear (no pannic though) He knows everything about me (I was surprised to tell him EVERYTHING about J and about xDBF). And he told me about his past relationships as well.
I have opened in a way I thought I wasn't going to be able to.
I'll try to keep you update, but I wouldn't count on that! I'm really scare and I'm trying (making a big effort) to go as slow as I can!
See ya around.
S |
posted Wednesday April 29th, @04:45PM
Saturday March 14th
(jump earlier later)
Not much to say. Life's been quiet (as usual)
Job: I'm still at my sis' office. Yesterday I received a second offer to stay. I'm already making almost twice what I used to make in Fox, and having in mind how hard everything is right now, I know it's a blessing.
I was again, asked how much money I want to stay for at least an entire year.
My boss told me she understand how "bad" it is for me to stay in here because I'm not doing what I like, that's why she's willing to pay me whatever I want in order to stay... she pretty much wants to relax knowing I'm not going anywhere.
I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna stay an entire year... it hurts to "give up" looking for a job in my field, but what more can I do?
Love: a few days ago I was chatting with an old friend. She's going through a break up and kept asking me about mine. She also had a LDR for a while.
After talking with her for hours, I had this need to know how he was doing... yeah I was a fool, but not as big as you think I am. I didn't contact him (I'm pretty good with the NC thingie), but I got into his family online album.
I was surprised, and really pleased to realized I didn't care. Meaning, I saw a few pics of him and I didn't feel anything.
But, today I got in again. Don't ask me why. I have no excuse. I just did. And today I did feel something.
Yesterday was his daughter's bday and there were new pics of that. He was there, but like in a side, talking with a sil, nothing special.
But you know what it bothered me? The pics were from all over the house (which I used to know also by pics) and in one pic, the kids were standing in front of the master bedroom and you could see the room was a little mess, with the bed unmade, clothes on the floor and it bothered me A LOT. I don't wanna get too much into the "whyyyys"... I just let this go away.
In the other hand, I came to downtown to meet a few old friends. I forgot they were really late all the time, but enough is enough. We were suposed to meet at 2 o'clock. I called them a couple of times but I think they changed cell phones or something.
At 3 I thought I had enough and left. Now I'm at the office (I came to pick up a few things), I sent them emails and all, and it's 4.45 and yet no news from them. I just gonna go home. I'm starving (we were meeting to have lunch)
So I think I'll get into a Drive-in Mcdonalds on my way home.
S. |
posted Saturday March 14th, @02:43PM
Monday February 23rd
(jump earlier later)
Last Friday I picked up an American girl out of a hotel. She's gonna stay for 6 months going to college in here and staying at my aunt's.
So this weekend I pretty much stayed there with her and had to cook for her and that kind of stuff.
I'm amazed by how easy everything turned out to be.
Friday night we ate hamburguers (from the hotel we went to the supermarket and bought everything, so I figured to cook something rather simple and quicker).
Saturday night we ate empanadas and last night I did empanada gallega (tuna, potato, olives, blah blah blah) and did pretty good actually.
Tonight I'm gonna cook some pasta and tomorrow's night I'll take my English teacher's suggestion and will make milanesas.
After this little experience of "living alone" I'm starting to feel this wish-need-whatever you wanna call it, to move out.
I won't be crazy enough to move out without having a more-secured job (although this one is pretty secure). So maybe I'll wait until returning to my field of work... we'll see.
Did I mention Mae got married? Last Friday we spoke a lot and she already regrets it... she is wanting to leave... I always thought that marriage wouldn't last, but never imagined it would happen so soon.
She's in good spirits and isn't crying, she's more mad than anything, but once she realizes what she did and what's going on, it's gonna hit her hard (specially after her parents find out). So I'm paying a lot of attention to the things she's saying and even more to the ones she's not.
She's already thinking in doing a trip and offered me and I refused. Can't get into the "let's do a trip" with her again. I did tell her about my wishes to move out and was surprised, she even asked me not to do something stupid (LOL look who's talking!)
Went to a couple of doctors appt. and guess what? Seems as xBF left me a souvenir. It's gonna be almost funny to call him and tell him to get a check up or something. Should I? Maybe. Would I? Perhaps... time will tell (and the lab as well).
Better go. I'm having an Internet overdose, after an entire weekend offline.
S. |
posted Monday February 23rd, @08:51AM
Wednesday February 4th
(jump earlier later)
Life has been really quiet around here
Still working at my sis' office. I was offered to stay during Feb and said yes. No work in TV so this is better than nothing.
A couple of days ago I was offered to stay for good... they offered a lot of money (I'd be making the same my old boss used to make), but I still hasn't decided what to do. I told them I'd stay as long as I don't get anything on my field, but I also was honest saying if anything good enough comes around, I'd like to go. Obviously I won't go back to a job of endless hours and lousy pay check, but I wanted to be honest about my williness to go back to my field.
In here I work 8 hours and I always go home on time.... and as my day starts rather late (around 11am) I'm already looking for other activities to do. Next monday I'll start taking English classes from an Australian teacher, he's going to prepare me to do the IETLS exam.
Then I wanted to start some activity to move my ass LOL, so I was thinking in starting salsa classes, but I'll start doing that as soon as I get used to the english classes in my routine.
I'm still in "summer mind", so everything's a little slow right now.
My aunt is on vacations outside BA, and as her house is 15 blocks away from where I work, I've been staying at her house a few nights a week. A friend of her is also staying there.
Last Monday we stood until 2.30 AM talking and left me thinking a lot.
She told me about how her life was when she was a kid, her mother was a single parent, who later got married to a very violent and alcoholic police officer. She was telling me how her life was a hell while living with them.
Then around the time she was 14 she met my aunt and her family and said she used to love going to their house, because they seemed like a perfect family, almost like on tv.
But then she said, the more she knew them, the more she could see that life was no perfect (we were talking how every family is a different world and you can't say how good or bad their life is because you're an "outsider")
She told me her mom and my grandma became friends and told me that at least a couple of times per month my grandma would go to her house crying saying she wanted out. She couldn't keep up with living with her in-laws, working, raising the kids, etc...
For you to understand: my grandparents respected the Japanese tradition of living with the parents of the man and working in the house and business, while taking care of the folks. But my grandpa's mom was a pain and traited my grandma as her maid. So not only she had to take care of her two children, but also work, and being in charge of the house, doing everything and anything her mother in law wanted.
I always knew my grandma's life wasn't easy. But I never imagined this. I never thought she actually regret marrying my grandpa and never ever thought she actually thought of leaving.
While growing up I always thought they were the perfect couple, always together, working together... I even wanted that kind of marriage, the "until death do us parts"...
But when I got older I realized things were not fair for her, and I saw how she changed (for better) after my grandpa died. She was able to travel, to go out (my grandpa didn't really like parties and that kind of stuff, so he would never go to xmas gatherings, bdays, etc... meaning, my grandma didn't either), she made new friends, and started working as a volunteer in the local hospital (last year she won an award as "the woman of the year" because all of her hard work).
This friend told me my grandma even today, regrets marrying my grandpa and think life was unfair, saying that now she is free to do whatever she wants, but has no energy enough to do so. For example, in a few months she'll do a cruise trip with her friends, and as happy as she is by this, is afraid of not being able to keep up with her friends' energy or not be able to enjoy a 100% the trip.
This friend told me she keeps telling my grandma that she has to be thankful for being able to do whatever she wants now, that million of people don't get that chance ever in their life... but I have to agree with grandma...
All of this got me thinking, because in the moment she started saying this I thank my grandma (in my head) for staying... but later I realized that no matter how "perfect" the picture of my grandparents was... if I could turn back time and give her the courage to leave, I would.
First, she couldn't leave because of her parents in law, then for her children, later for her grandchildren... and even when I had nothing to do with it, I felt kinda responsable for this.
I don't know why I can't stop thinking about this...
S. |
posted Wednesday February 4th, @03:50PM
Monday January 26th
(jump earlier later)
It's been a while since I came here.
I've been working in my sister's office as a secretary. The work is simple and easy, but also REALLY boring.
I'm not used to be sitting in the computer doing nothing except "being available for when needed"... The first week I was here I cleaned my entire work place.
I was so bored that I even took old agendas and typed them into the computer so I could throw them away without losing any information. I also typed all the proffesional cards everybody received in the last 5 years... I finished doing that today and I have no clue of what to do next with my time...
Yes, my bosses love me. Today I was asked to buy a plane ticket, and I did... by the time they wanted to make changes I was printing the e-ticket. They're not used to have a secretary who does what they ask when they ask it... if I have nothing else to do, if you ask me to do something I just do it... I don't fool around...
No news from you-know-who... and no news on any new "real" job. It's a really hard time to get a job now...
How are you guys doing?
S. |
posted Monday January 26th, @03:31PM
Friday January 2nd
(jump earlier later)
I totally forgot to mention that on Xmas eve, my grandma (my dad's mom) asked me about xDBF.
I was eating dessert next to her and as she doesn't really hear well, asked me yelling "HOW IS YOUR BOYFRIEND DOING?" OBVIOUSLY, everybody stared and waited the answer.
Although everybody knows we broke up, I'm not really sure how much they know about it... and no one asked me anything about it, so I know grandma was asking the question everybody wanted to ask.
I told her we broke up. And she asked if it was def. I told her it was a while ago so there's no need to ask that... and then she asked "WHEN?". I didn't know what to answer, I just asked her if she was asking me when we broke up and she just nodded (I don't think she was understanding what I was asking) and then she said, "HE'LL BE BACK... YOU'LL SEE. HE'LL COME TO GET YOU". I just said I didn't think so, picked up my dessert and run out of there LOL.
By the time I arrived to the kitchen my sister was already telling my mom all about it lol.
I had New Year's Eve adventure to the ER!
When I was coming back home from the office something got into my eye. even when I tried to take it off, I couldn't. When I arrived home I tried to take it off with water, and nothing... I thought it'd go away by itself, but it didn't and by midnight the eye was a little red, and it kept bothering me.
Around 3AM, after taking my sister's in laws to their home, we went to the ER where a doc took a little piece of metal (YEAH! METAL) off the eye. I came back home with a lovely patch...
In a couple of hours I have to go back to do a check up.
It was fun LOL... everybody thought I'd be all blue because of it and I just said it's another funny story to tell...
Better go!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!! |
posted Friday January 2nd, @10:46AM
Wednesday December 31st
(jump earlier later)
Bye bye 2008, God knows I'm not gonna miss you
How to explain my Christmas?
My family came over my house for Christmas eve, the same we do every year. I wasn't really feeling the xmas spirit... although I'm always the "most xmas" person in my house.
As I had to work that day (part time) I had to nap and didn't get up until around 8PM, people started to arrive while I was still in my PJs, lol.
Not the best xmas ever, but good enough to keep my mind occupied.
In the other hand, Mae got married on Dec. 23rd (J's bday). Out of no where, she reached me on chat on Friday to tell me she was getting married 4 days later, and thought I was going to go. She said she tried really hard to find me online at IM and as she didn't see me she couldn't tell me sooner... (COME ON! I was online all the time! and... with me, you can't say you didn't know how to reach me... I check my emails all the time!) Anyway, I couldn't go because I started working on Monday and the girl I'm replacing had been fired hours before I called to ask if I could start a week later.
No happy AT ALL about this new. She got married to a guy she broke up with 4 TIMES in the last 2 months. He is really insecure, so sure she's gonna cheat on him, so he keeps dumping her... and she keeps dumping him just because he keeps dumping her in first place or because he keeps threating her with leaving her.
They broke up "for good" and the separation lasted 10 days, they got together and decided to get married and in a week they organized everything.
I'm still a little bit annoyed by this... but who am I to talk about it after the 2008 I'm finishing, right? LOL
She wrote me a couple of days ago telling me they're now trying to figure out how to live together... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I better go. I'm at the office. Maybe next year I'll be back to update a little bit on my life
Have a great end of the year and a greater beggining of 2009 
S-. |
posted Wednesday December 31st, @08:11AM
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