jwersan
R.I.P. Mom, Brian, Ziggy, and Max.
Premium
join:2004-12-20
Port Jefferson Station, NY
clubs:
 ·Optimum Online
| reply to Warzau
Re: Update on my son who has cancer
The 28th of February is my nephew Brian's birthday. He would have been 28.. 
Not a day goes by that I don't think about him in some way.
I thought his death only affected me in small ways until my wife mentioned a few things that he & I used to do together that I NEVER do anymore. Subconsciously I had been affected a lot more than I thought.
His parents have dealt with it in their own ways, some good, some bad. My sister is the worst for it though, and IMHO her therapist is not helping her move forward, and is hindering her. In fact I would classify her as clinically depressed, but that is just my layman's take on depression.
Brian was her first born, and Jason, her only other child was smothered by her at first.
He has been gone almost six years now.
I agree that you and your family would benefit from therapy, just be aware that not all of them can help you, find the right one.
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RIAA/MPAA... Bite me!!!!
In constant search for intelligent life on Earth! |
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Warzau
Premium
join:2000-10-26
Naperville, IL
clubs:
| said by jwersan  :just be aware that not all of them can help you, find the right one. Correct IIRC my Mother sought help from a couple before settling on one. |
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kasparov33
Premium
join:2007-05-04
Conover, NC
| reply to kasparov33
hello all. i have playing chess again to help my mind stay straight. it has helped a lot. quit playing when i got married as it took a back set to family. if any of you out there play let me know and maybe we can get together somewhere on the internet to play. told my wife she and my daughter can go with me when i go to some tournaments in the mountains and then they can go shopping. hope all of you folks are doing ok. you really are a wonderful bunch of people. 1 more question what can i do with a premium membership? sorry if i sound like a noob but just wanting to use it since i have it. hope everybody has a great day and a better one tomorrow. thanks |
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Warzau
Premium
join:2000-10-26
Naperville, IL
clubs: | Here is some nfo re Premium status.
»/join/new |
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hellrazzer23
join:2002-06-21
Los Angeles, CA
clubs:
·RoadRunner Cable
| reply to kasparov33
said by kasparov33 :hello all. i have playing chess again to help my mind stay straight. it has helped a lot. quit playing when i got married as it took a back set to family. if any of you out there play let me know and maybe we can get together somewhere on the internet to play. I used to play chess in my younger years. I was actually in a chess club where the guy thought I could play in some youth tournaments. I'm probably not any good now, but if you need someone to play with, I'm game. |
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usa2k
Please PRAY for Rebekah
Premium,MVM
join:2003-01-26
Canton, MI
clubs:
 ·VOIPo
·WOW Internet and C..
·Broadvox Direct
1 edit | Re: Update on my son who has cancer
So sad to lose anyone, especially child who parents out-live them
My sincerest condolences.
--
Jim -- USA2K, VoIP since 12/2002, Packet8 since 12/2006. VOIPo in Beta, former Vonage . . .
FAH-Tool Monitor |
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kasparov33
Premium
join:2007-05-04
Conover, NC
| reply to kasparov33
Re: Update on my son who has cancer
there are a lot of nice folks out there and ive found a lot of them here. hope all of you are doing great and ready for spring and summer. bar-bq and fresh cut grass. lawn grass that is. going to buy a new riding mower within 2 weeks. hope to get a toro or wheel horse. tired of blowing leaves so gonna get one that has mulcher and vac system. make it easier on me for sure. hopefully by summer gas will have dropped in price. gotta run so thanks for everyones support and thoughts. |
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weeksben1
Premium
join:2004-02-26
Clarkston, MI
 ·AT&T Midwest
| reply to kasparov33
My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
I believe it was the late Jim Valvano who said:
"Cancer can take away all my physical abilities, but it cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things will carry on forever. Don't give up, don't ever give up"
I'm thinking of you and your family.
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Ben WeeksNetwork AdminNovell CNA NW3.2/4.x/5.xNetwork + Certified |
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onebadmofo
Repost These Nuts In Your Mouth.
Premium
join:2002-03-30
Reading, PA
·Comcast
| reply to kasparov33
Damn man, that sucks. He was so young too. 12 years old. Sorry to hear about your loss man. I've lost grandparents to cancer and a best friend of mine in the 80's to cancer. It sucks because you know you are completely powerless to do anything to rid them of the thing that's killing them.
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Photoshop these nuts in your mouth. |
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kasparov33
Premium
join:2007-05-04
Conover, NC
| reply to kasparov33
just stopped back in to say hello to all the good people that have been so helpful in the last few months. the last while has been very difficult. dont sleep to well because im having dreams of being in the hospital that my son was in and there are many children there that are asking for me to help them. its really bad sometimes and my wife said that maybe i should go there once or twice a month and volunteer in the childrens cancer wing. im thinking that may be a good idea to do that and get rid of these things i dream about. i still have a lot of people that ask me how my son is when they see me and i know that they may not know what happened but man that takes a good day and turns it upside down in a hurry. recently i bought 2 metal detectors and go with my brother in law metal detecting. he has done it for 30 years and i love it a lot. i used to do it before i got married but had to quit because my family came first. havent found any big treasure yet but trying to find some old silver coins and make my wife a necklace with it. well thats enough jabber for now and hope you all have a great day and a better one tomorrow. cya |
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onebadmofo
Repost These Nuts In Your Mouth.
Premium
join:2002-03-30
Reading, PA
·Comcast
| said by kasparov33 :just stopped back in to say hello to all the good people that have been so helpful in the last few months. the last while has been very difficult. dont sleep to well because im having dreams of being in the hospital that my son was in and there are many children there that are asking for me to help them. its really bad sometimes and my wife said that maybe i should go there once or twice a month and volunteer in the childrens cancer wing. im thinking that may be a good idea to do that and get rid of these things i dream about. i still have a lot of people that ask me how my son is when they see me and i know that they may not know what happened but man that takes a good day and turns it upside down in a hurry. recently i bought 2 metal detectors and go with my brother in law metal detecting. he has done it for 30 years and i love it a lot. i used to do it before i got married but had to quit because my family came first. havent found any big treasure yet but trying to find some old silver coins and make my wife a necklace with it. well thats enough jabber for now and hope you all have a great day and a better one tomorrow. cya Hey man it's good to hear you're trying to get things back on a normal track (as normal as it can be, anyway). It's also good to hear you found a hobby with metal detecting. It'll give your mind something to do other than think of the negativity.
Why don't you post you findings on here, I'm sure everyone would love to see what you dig up. |
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kasparov33
Premium
join:2007-05-04
Conover, NC | reply to kasparov33
that sounds great. i did find a 1919 and a 1941 penny in about an hour saturday. when i find some silver and get a chance i will post a few pics. thanks all and have a great day. |
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onebadmofo
Repost These Nuts In Your Mouth.
Premium
join:2002-03-30
Reading, PA
·Comcast
| said by kasparov33 :that sounds great. i did find a 1919 and a 1941 penny in about an hour saturday. when i find some silver and get a chance i will post a few pics. thanks all and have a great day. If you do post your findings, and you make a separate thread about it, post the link to the thread in here. That way those who may not frequent the "56k look out" forum, will be able find it here and they won't miss out. |
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Edge1
Workin' Ta Live
Premium
join:2006-03-01 | reply to kasparov33
Just wondering how you are doing kasparov. Stay strong, be good to yourself. |
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kasparov33
Premium
join:2007-05-04
Conover, NC
| reply to kasparov33
we have been doing fair i guess. april 25th would have been my sons 13th birthday. the days come and go but things are just not the same. we talk to a lot of friends and family often and that helps to get things off our chests so to speak. i work out in my garage a lot at night so that my wife doesnt see my crying because i dont want her to worry about me. my son is still all around us in photos and other things. the other night my wife found a mothers day card my son made for her 2 years ago and that brought her to tears. the doctor tried to put me on xanax but they made me feel like crap so i use a little ganja every once and a while late at night. i kniow a lot of people say thats not the way to go but it works for me. i have never been in trouble and have had only 1 ticket in my life for a seat belt infraction so those of you who may say that im bad for doing that please just try to understand and dont have a rush to judgement. the only thing i can do is to be there for my family and make sure that they are kept safe and tell them i love them everday. every night before my son went to sleep i would tell him that i loved him and he would say dad do you know how much i love you and i would say how much, and he would say i love you to much. that was his way of saying he loved me more and that has been what has helped me along. i miss my little buddy and wish i could have him back for just 1 minute to tell him how proud of him i am but i know that he knew that anyway. i will have some pics when i can find them to show. hope all of you have a great day. |
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onebadmofo
Repost These Nuts In Your Mouth.
Premium
join:2002-03-30
Reading, PA
·Comcast
| reply to kasparov33
Sorry to hear you're taking hard yet. I can't imagine how hard it can be. But take this from someone who has his head clear...drop the weed man. If you get caught with that shit it's not gonna matter WHY you have it or do it..you'll be going away. And what could be a seatbelt infraction one minute, could end up being prison time the next. And the last thing your wife needs is, to lose her husband to incarceration due to possession of an illegal substance.
Also, take down all but maybe 2 or 3 of the pics you have of your boy and place them in a nice album in honor of him. I know it would be hard as HELL to do (and if you can't do it, PAY someone to do it). But in order to even try to clear your head, you need to try to move forward. And with those pics hanging up on the walls and sitting on table tops, it's going to be SO much harder to do.
I hope you can make some positive progress, man. Good luck.
--
Photoshop these nuts in your mouth. |
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kasparov33
Premium
join:2007-05-04
Conover, NC
| reply to kasparov33
i dont have the stuff in my car nor do i even have to leave my home to get a doob or 2. i dont even have enough to really put in a thimble so im not going away. im 38 years old and do think before i act so dont worry mofo im keeping everything in check bro but i really do thank you for being kind enough to care. most folks would probably say nothing. anywho when i get the chance i will also post some pics of my metal detecting finds. i havent found any silver coins yet but have found quite a bit of change here and there. bought my self a minelab explorer2 metal detector. me and my brother in law go out about 4 times a week after work and on the weekends. i have located a house built in 1900 that the owner said we could hunt so maybe we will find some good stuff. will let you know when i get my first silver. thanks and have a good one. |
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Warzau
Premium
join:2000-10-26
Naperville, IL
clubs:
| reply to kasparov33
That actually brought a tear to my eye. It is the same night time routine, I have with my girls. I would say go ahead and try anything that will help with the pain. In the same respect don't abuse yourself or beat yourself up. You know what I'm sure your son would say how proud he is of you right now.
Stay strong. |
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