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1 edit | I may be getting divorced soon..... Wife and I have been having some challenges in our relationship. Mother in law came down to visit about 2 weeks ago.
I had an issue with MIL and tried talking it out with her but she started cursing me out in my own home. Told her to leave and wife said her mom is not going anywhere because it is her house, too.
Anyway, I ended up leaving for a couple of days and terribly missed my daughter. However, I think that the MIL issue was just the icing on the cake of problems that were going on between me and my wife.
I don't want to break our family up but my head is saying stay and work it out but my heart is saying "I don't want to fight anymore (not physically) and it is time to let it go!"
I am not perfect and have messed up but she has, too. I feel the issue with her mom just drove us further apart but we already had that door opened.
Man, this is one of the toughest things I ever had to deal with in life (welcome to being an adult). This is one thing that can make a grown man cry and it has but when do you get to the point where you say "enough is enough" and it is time to move on??
Divorce is painful to even think about. I want to believe we can work through this but now having MIL angry at me is just compounding the problems.
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The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary. | |
|   MrMoodyFree range slavePremium
join:2002-09-03
Smithfield, NC | Re: I may be getting divorced soon..... said by fatmanskinny:Wife and I have been having some challenges in our relationship. Mother in law came down to visit about 2 weeks ago. I had an issue with MIL and tried talking it out with her but she started cursing me out in my own home. No doubt they've been winding each other up against you. Wouldn't be the first time.
I feel for you. I know this isn't the PC response, but usually it's better to cut these things off than keeping pouring your soul and self-respect into someone who can't be pleased.
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The public is a poor business manager. | |
| | | Sorry to hear...I can sympathize. It won't be easy, but the main thing is to stay clear of putting your child in the middle. Let both know that family discussions in this matter must not be held in front of your daughter. That type of damage is devastating and long term. Good luck of whatever course is taken, just make sure your childs interests are above all!
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"Anything worth having is worth cheating for." WC Fields | |
|  KrKHeavy Artillery For The Little GuyPremium
join:2000-01-17
Tulsa, OK
 ·AT&T DSL Service
1 edit | Sorry to hear that. The MIL is not helping, and no doubt making it worse... but you'll have to suck it up and be a man about it because of your daughter.
Woman are excellent fighters. They train for manipulation and control for years. The only way to win is not to fight. Well not win, you still lose, you just cut your losses.
Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor? | |
| |  AtlGuy
join:2000-10-17
Marietta, GA | Re: I may be getting divorced soon..... said by KrK:Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor? I was going to ask that same question.
fatmanskinny, you sound like a coworker of mine when she was having marriage problems. She talked about divorce a good bit, and I think she was very close to that point. She and her husband went to a marriage counselor, and 2 years later they seem to be happy.
Good luck man. I hope it works out for the best. | |
| | | KrKHeavy Artillery For The Little GuyPremium
join:2000-01-17
Tulsa, OK Reviews:
·AT&T DSL Service
| Re: I may be getting divorced soon..... Also, another word of advice, you shouldn't move out if it comes to that. Who moved out and "left" the child behind can be very big in the legal sense. (IE abandonment arguments)
I'm saying I hope it doesn't become that way or nasty, but I thought I'd mention it.
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"Regulatory capitalism is when companies invest in lawyers, lobbyists, and politicians, instead of plant, people, and customer service." - former FCC Chairman William Kennard (A real FCC Chairman, unlike the current Corporate Spokesperson in the job!) | |
| | | | Reviews:
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·Comcast Digital ..
2 edits | Re: I may be getting divorced soon..... said by KrK:Also, another word of advice, you shouldn't move out if it comes to that. Who moved out and "left" the child behind can be very big in the legal sense. (IE abandonment arguments) I'm saying I hope it doesn't become that way or nasty, but I thought I'd mention it. I actually went back home after MIL left to go home. I want the best for my wife just like I want for my daughter.
I am not going to abandon them because I would not want anyone doing that to me. We are in the stages of talking out the next steps such as eliminating our joint debt and positioning ourselves so we can have an amicable separation and / or divorce. However, with the MIL being so close to my wife like she is and the whole recent situation, I would not be surprised if the wife gets dirty when we finally decide to part ways.
I know I have a rough road ahead. The end results I desire include having a strong and close relationship with my daughter and being in a fulfilling relationship again. Of course, I would need some time to heal from this before I personally jump into anything new.
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The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary. | |
| | | | | KrKHeavy Artillery For The Little GuyPremium
join:2000-01-17
Tulsa, OK | Re: I may be getting divorced soon..... Good luck. | |
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| said by KrK:Have you considered seeing a marriage counselor? We haven't. Personally, I think it is far too gone for a marriage counselor to save it but because my wife want to give it one last try, I will see one with her.
I believe I was putting my wife before my family but now see where my wife puts her family before me and doesn't make me seem hopeful about reconciliation.
Again, I am not waving the "Perfect" flag. I am just looking at the total picture and saying maybe enough is enough and we may just have to part ways.
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The only place where Success comes before Work is in the dictionary. | |
| | | | | Re: I may be getting divorced soon..... I think you should go to the counselor just so that you have no regrets. If after counseling, you both still want to go your own way, at least you know you did everything you could.
Good luck, sounds like a very sad situation. | |
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 Sweet WitchBe the flame, not the moth.Premium,MVM
join:2003-07-15
Gallifrey | That stinks. You're right though that your wife should have stood by you instead of siding with her mother, but you've also got to look at their relationship. Is your wife under her mother's thumb, or are they cohorts in crime so to speak? Either way, your wife is not on your side and you're right to not stay in a relationship like that. Disagreeing with a spouse is normal, letting someone trash them without stepping in makes them just as abusive as the trasher.
I get so tired of listening to women trash their husbands/male partners. If he's that horrible, move on and find someone else. If he's not, then shut up.
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"While you can teach an old dog new tricks, you simply can't teach him to be a cat." | |
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Is it just me or this is a good juicy site to learn about marriage issues? | |
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