Skand
join:2001-06-01
Corpus Christi, TX
clubs:
 ·RoadRunner Cable
| How to tell someone that they might be crazy?(serious)
My wife's aunt is visiting us. She drove down here from Houston last week on Monday. She just called and said she was on the way for a visit. When she arrived she brought a crapload of stuff. Turns out she was planning on staying two weeks with us. Little by little over the last week, she's been adding more time to how long she thinks she'll be staying with us. Finally today, she says 3-4 weeks.
Now I think she's crazy, my wife thinks she's crazy. How do we go about telling her, in a polite as way possible that we think she's crazy and might need to seek some sort of mental help?
Now, the background on her reason for the visit and the length of her stay:
Her upstairs neighbors are "torturing her with subwoofer beats" She says that they" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week", her neighbors are "beaming subwoofer beats" into her head.
I have reason to believe she might be a hypochondriac because while she has a BS in Occupational Therapy she hasn't worked in the last 12 years due to all sorts of ailments. She is constantly seeing a doctor for illnesses she thinks she might have, but the doctors are telling her she is physically healthy. Because of of her ailments, she never leaves the house and so she suffers constantly because of the subwoofer beats.
None of the other neighbors complain of noise, they don't hear anything. Her friends can not hear it. Her husband doesn't hear it.
She says that the upstairs neighbors have drilled holes in their floors so they could install the speakers in the floorboards and torture her. The apartment management have checked into this and found nothing out of the ordinary.
She sleeps horribly at night because they "beam the subwoofer beats" directly into her head. She says she tried moving where she sleeps, but the neighbors find out where she is sleeping and point the subwoofer back at her head.
She wrote a letter to the mayor of Houston (she forwarded me a copy to check over) about the neighbors in hopes that the mayor could fix the problem for her.
Now she is with us and she's driving me crazy. She walks around the house talking to herself constantly.
My wife (who was raised by her grandmother) says that her grandmother always said her daughter was crazy. My wife would always tell her that she shouldn't call her own daughter crazy. Her grandmother would reply with "just you wait and see". So here it is 20 years later and my wife agrees with her grandmother. Her aunt just might be crazy.
I was talking to her aunt and I asked about a relative we visited in Houston of hers around 10 years ago and she told me the lady had died. She went into the long story of how her aunt (my wife's aunt's aunt) was diagnosed with schizophrenia and all the problems she had.
Then it clicked, could my wife's aunt have schizophrenia? I read up on some of the symptoms of schizophrenia and it seems like it's a sure match.
I know it's bad, but I joke with her and find ways to call her crazy that won't insult her. She said she didn't like suishi and I told her she was crazy. She did something to her computer (she brought it with her) and I told her she was crazy. My wife even said that if she ever ends up like her aunt to just lock her up and not worry about her.
Now all joking aside, maybe there is nothing wrong with her. But I think maybe she should see a doctor and get some help if it is needed. I don't want to just out and out tell her that she might be crazy and to seek help and as much as she is driving me crazy, I do care for her and would like to suggest help in as polite and positive way as possible.
I thought maybe someone else has been in a similar situation and had to recommend someone they care about for psychiatric evaluation and they could give some advice on how to do that.
Or maybe I should just wait for the 3 or 4 weeks for her visit to be over with and just put up with the long distance calls.
I know this, I will not leave my children alone with her. The other day my son was having a fit and she got agitated with him. She started screaming back at him in a mocking tone (waaah waaah waaah), just making him scream even more. When he screamed more, she went and got water in a bottle and squirted it on him, I was pissed and I told her off. I told her how she was acting like a kid and she should just ignore him and not egg him on.
I really think she might need help, but I don't want to be rude or cruel about it. Again, as much as she is driving me crazy, I do care for her and want her to get help, if that's something that's needed. |
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Rob
In Deo speramus
Premium
join:2001-08-25
Kendall, FL
·Comcast
 ·AT&T Southeast
| reply to Skand
Re: How to tell someone that they might be crazy?(serious)
I think you should sit her down and be upfront with her. Tell her that, while she says the upstairs neighbors are torturing her with music, that nobody else hears it. Tell her that you are concerned for her, because you know how she has had problems over the years (although the doctors say she is physically healthy, don't disagree with her "illnesses"). Ask her if it would be ok if she just went in and talked with a psychiatrist, as you and your wife are concerned for her well being.
In fact, it'd probably be best if your wife talked to her. Reassure her that you and your wife are there to help her if she needs help, but that you want her to at least talk to someone so you and her know what you are dealing with and appropriately help her get through her problems.
Tell her if she doesn't talk to someone, that you will have to ask her to leave your own as you are concerned for her and don't want to be responsible for her.
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www.rr.cx | YourIP.US | MySite.cx |
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lennyCrane
@covad.net
| reply to Skand
I doubt she is schizoid. schizoids exhibit violent behaviour, like chasing someone with a pair of scissors and stabbing a person, or trying to burn a house down to get rid of evil spirits.
If your aunt has plenty of money, put up with her for 4 weeks and hope she leaves you in her will.
If she can mange her affairs by her self, she isn't crazy.
Who pays her rent and bills ?
If the cow gives the milk away for free............
P.S. You are the cow. |
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McSummation
Mmmm, Zeebas Are Tastee.
Premium,MVM
join:2003-08-13
Round Rock, TX
·AT&T Southwest
| reply to Skand
The symptoms you describe are quite common. Yes, she is crazy, but her husband is the only person that can address the problem. The best you can do is tell her she has to go home, put her stuff in her car and point her down the road. If you don't, she'll be with you forever.
BTW, you did a pretty good job of describing my mother-in-law, who used to live in Pasadena (TX), but now resides in a care facility on the west side of Houston with a state appointed guardian looking after her. She's getting care, but she's still nuts.
Yes, it is inheritable. |
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seqrets
Premium
join:2001-05-03
Nederland, TX
clubs:
·RoadRunner Cable
| reply to Skand
Talk to a Health Care professional and see what they can recommend.
To me it sounds like see is either Paranoid Schizophrenia Schizophrenia.
One of my former Aunts was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia as well as a couple of other mental disorders and she was truelly scary to be around. When she was taking her medication, there was a 100% difference in her personality. |
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tcope
Premium
join:2003-05-07
Sandy, UT | reply to Skand
Time to get the Power of Attorney signed. |
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cocothebean
You Are My Nightmare
Premium
join:2002-11-16
Carson City, NV | reply to Skand
Tell her you are sorry she has to listen to music blasting all the time and are willing to help her find a better place to live.
And that you and your wife are used to you're lifestyle and are not adapting to her staying with you. |
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no_one
@QWEST.NET
| reply to Skand
First get a medical doctors checkup with all symptoms. Period, first. Then go from there. There are a lot of just plain medical stuff that affects everything.
Beyond that if not that any thing major stressful in this persons life??? Then a good counselor.
Ain't that f?""{ hard do it. Person needs help. Medical or , something going on with life or counseling.
Oh, be nice about it. |
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no_one
@QWEST.NET | reply to Skand
Other possibility is she is homeless and something happened. So be nice and figure it out.
Stop whining and help. it will go quicker and when done with you will feel better about yourself. |
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no_one
@QWEST.NET
| reply to Skand
So to spell it out does the person have health insurance? If so find out the coverage and a general doctor you can take her to where you are. Make it a nice trip not forced. Then see what they say. If not good enough find a mental health doctor covered.
Be nice. Ain't that hard.
If no health insurance find out the coverage for uninsured in the state. That takes some time but not hard just time.
Now I think even with being nice and I mean nice as no forcing just help no mad evil post you will find an answer. |
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no_one
@QWEST.NET
| reply to McSummation
said by McSummation  :The symptoms you describe are quite common. Yes, she is crazy, but her husband is the only person that can address the problem. The best you can do is tell her she has to go home, put her stuff in her car and point her down the road. If you don't, she'll be with you forever. BTW, you did a pretty good job of describing my mother-in-law, who used to live in Pasadena (TX), but now resides in a care facility on the west side of Houston with a state appointed guardian looking after her. She's getting care, but she's still nuts. Yes, it is inheritable. Honestly you do not give a shit about anyone. |
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Hayward
K A R - 1 2 0 C
Premium
join:2000-07-13
Key West, FL
edit:
May 12th, @02:32AM
| reply to Skand
A Didn't tell/ask you coming in the first place
B Here I am
C Now you have me for flex who knows
Maybe deal with the not really disclosed issues but this is NOT your new home... nice to see you but need to move on... even preplanned I would not thinkink of impossing myself on a relative more than 1-2 weeks and that is INVITED and convenient... not just I am on my way showing up.
Bet they won't take you out or even buy groceries compensating for themselves either.
Almost everywhere there are somekind of noise ordinances... maybe not mid day but after 10-11 at night.
Contact the landlord... or are they not on good terms with them either for other imaginary reasons?
That gets into a tough area if so.
Been alone much of my life... as much by choice as desire not to be....(Then again KW is the only place I can say never been a bored for a day... so many to go meet and see even if nothing happens) but many do NOT deal with alone well especially if they haven't been and always been provided/cared for, and didn't have to worry about day to day stuff.
Again can't really offer a sollution, but does seem they need some kind of help, that just impossing themselves on you will never fix.
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»haywardm.com (Hayward's Key West)
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BurntCricket
Gotta Do What Ya Gotta Do
Premium
join:2000-09-02
Here
clubs: | reply to no_one
What did he say that was false or uncaring?
Although I don't agree with the description "nuts".
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If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand. |
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pp03
join:2002-06-13
Minneapolis, MN
| Pretend you are annoyed by the sub woofer beats she brought with her and they keep you up at night.
Think of something to get her to leave, then do the appropriate thing of finding help. Husband has to submit her to tests though I believe.
--
The History Channel rocks! ... you know it! |
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nemo1966
join:2005-11-15
England | reply to Skand
Just make sure you tell her when the straight jacket is firmly secured  |
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no_one
@QWEST.NET
| reply to BurntCricket
said by BurntCricket :What did he say that was false or uncaring? Although I don't agree with the description "nuts". I hate yak. Yak "yak - noisy talk
chatter, yack, yakety-yak, cackle
talk, talking - an exchange of ideas via conversation; "let's have more work and less talk around here"
blether, chin music, idle talk, prate, prattle - idle or foolish and irrelevant talk"
Deal with it, fix it, ask for real help. Be nice take to a doctor for a checkup. It is hard but do it. |
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no_one
@QWEST.NET
| reply to BurntCricket
said by BurntCricket :What did he say that was false or uncaring? Although I don't agree with the description "nuts". If anything was taken wrong sorry. But I did mean this
reply to McSummation
"" said by McSummation :
The symptoms you describe are quite common. Yes, she is crazy, but her husband is the only person that can address the problem. The best you can do is tell her she has to go home, put her stuff in her car and point her down the road. If you don't, she'll be with you forever.
BTW, you did a pretty good job of describing my mother-in-law, who used to live in Pasadena (TX), but now resides in a care facility on the west side of Houston with a state appointed guardian looking after her. She's getting care, but she's still nuts.
Yes, it is inheritable."
Honestly you do not give a shit about anyone. "
Plus it ain't that hard to deal with. Just deal with it. Talk it out be nice and get help. Not hard if needed. It is not a meth addict.
Your life is not over. The person is not there forever. Or the person lives on the street and dies because of no help. Darn choices. Or get help with you assistance and all good. |
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Brainless
Premium
join:2000-12-15
Sedalia, MO
·AT&T DSL Service
| reply to Skand
Where is the Husband? Sounds like his problem (good or bad, sickness and health), not yours. Call him up and tell him to come get her. This is his problem and he needs to deal with it, not push it off on you. You dont have to have a talk with her, you need to talk with him. Make him take care of this. Call him up and tell him. "Come get her and take her someplace to get some help. NOW!"
If you want to help, that is fine. Help him find the right people to help her. Help him foot the bill. Help by making meals and taking them to him. But this is NOT your responsibility. This is his. Make him "Man-Up" and do something. |
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Skand
join:2001-06-01
Corpus Christi, TX
clubs:
·RoadRunner Cable
| reply to Skand
Thanks for all the replies. Her husband works and pays for everything, but my wife says they've been having problems for 5 or 6 years. The husband is slightly off as well, and my wife says he fell off a ladder and ever since then he isn't at 100%.
I would say it's his duty as a husband to get her some help, but with all the trouble in their marriage (I think my wife says it's been 5 years since they've had sex) not much will come from him other than paying the medical bills if she does need help.
Thanks for the advice, one way or another. I'm going to talk to my wife and see what she thinks about talking to her aunt about seeking help. |
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