O Canada! > Canadian > Bell Canada > Bell Beavers Frank and Gordon Say Goodbye

Bell Beavers Frank and Gordon Say Goodbye

As it appears in the Toronto Star August 1, 2008. Now if only Emily will retire

No if Bell would retire.

reply to SALAMANCA
Okay, so this is what happens when I get really bored at work and have nothing to do..

Please, don't start picking me apart if facts are incorrect or if it doesn't make sense. I wrote it like 5 minutes with no proofreading =p

I got a out of office reply right after.

quote:

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Dear Frank/Gordon:

I was met with mixed emotions when I first opened up the Metro Toronto newspaper today and found out that the two most popular beavers in Canada were announcing their early retirement.

First off I was relieved - because over the years I had gotten entirely sick of all the advertisements that you guys were present in. It was probably a appealing method for small children and adults who are still children at heart, but I personally got sick of it after the first year or so.

Secondly I was admittedly somewhat sad that you two are no longer going to be the flagship advertising method for Bell (everyone's favorite company). You see over the years I have been accustomed to you guys and my mind has basically filtered your beaver bodies and just listened to your message (if it was any kind of good deal). Who knows what other kind of crazy animal will become the new Bell mascot, perhaps a pussycat?

Another issue I wish to discuss with you two is regarding the dam you manage in the woods.

My main problem regarding the dam is the way it affects the river in which the dam is located. Why do you insist on artificially blocking the speed at which the river can run at? You 'speedblock' only certain types of h2o atoms, the ones you assume to only be bad for the environment. When in reality only a small amount of them are bad, and it doesn't have a significant impact on the river as a whole. Your main argument seems to be that the entire river will slow down if you don't have these self imposed 'blocks' but this has been proven to be 100% false, backed up by your own statistics.

Also please stop limiting the amount of water that can go into said river, its ridculous when you look at the upcoming supposed 10 mbps and 16mbs upgrades to the river speed that you say the river is running over capacity...And if you absolutely must continue to limit the amount, please please please - do not limit the speed of the ENTIRE dam, just yours. This way the other, smaller dams can provide similar services with slighty better advantage and some disadvantages to using your own dam. We can have the semi illusion of competition, when its all really one big god dam dam and lots of little fish.

P.S. I would appreciate a signed photo from Frank and Gordon (he's my favourite) made out to Rohan

Yours truly,

Rohanster

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hehehe.. nice

reply to SALAMANCA
Ya!!!

Do you really think to become a friend of company's mascot when that company treats you like an asshole??

I agree with you blackzero

The sad thing is, Frank and Gordon were probably the best services Bell had to offer

EDIT - Grammar

reply to SALAMANCA
"Well,the time has come for us to say goodbye"

=> You're welcome.

"We've had a great time introducing you to neat products that make your personal and business life better"

=> I got rid with their unreliable services and uncoordinated billing issues. I know tons of people who had just changed to another provider to make "their life better,caused by HELL CANADA'S harrasment"

"Nature's calling back,and we have been invited back to the forest to become teachers for a whole new generation of spokescritters"

=> Congrats,I have the pleasure to tell you that you're at least more annoying than my history teacher. Every time i hear you in the radio I begun a deep sleep with my tongue outside my mouth.

All I got since the 1st time I have seen you in a piece of paper in my mail and I subscribed to Bell services was 3 months of constant fustration,nightmares,headashes with tech uncompetent tech support and customer service.

Also,i'd like to have a priviliege to replace "spokescritters" to "hypocrits and LIARS"

"Goodbye and thanks to all,especially our loyal fans and friends. Write us when you can at our new email address: frankandgordon@bell.ca"

=> Listen to me carefully: You weren't,You aren't and you WON'T be my friends.

Those who laugh after reading this post usually know what I'm talking about.

I'm sorry but Bell services just screw up,arggggggrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Regards.....
Stephen Hamilton,aka Blackzero

reply to SALAMANCA
Rumour has it that they're going to write a tell-all book about what an effed up mess their former employers had become and how (as some bell employees that I know have told me) they couldn't wait to get the package and get out.

reply to SALAMANCA
Breaking News

Kellogg's decided to retire Tony the Tiger from their Frosted Flakes cereal brand,, but with a mission: search and destroy Jules & Bertrand (aka Frank & Gordon) in the same woods area Bell Canada sent them out.

The mission codename is «spokescritters bin laden».

Once the mission complete, Tony will come back to Kellogg's factories and appear once again on the popular cereal box kids love.
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"I unofficially declare Beaver Hunting Season is on!" (© DR_JAYMAHDI)