No, you are pretty much right. They tend to either work or they don't. It's common practice for them to blame the modem.
Several of their offshore script monkeys have tried telling me that speed issues were caused by "bistream residue buildup in the modem because of the extremely high speeds and you must buy a new modem every 18 months or so." WTF?
I laughed my tush off! -- There is no giant fur-bearing trout.
LMAO! I just snarfed my coffee about 3 feet across the room. That is to funny. Those idiots they have manning the phones these days will apparently say just about anything. :-O