  simplykristi Cancer Sucks Premium join:2001-11-28 Metro KC
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1 edit | Dad Passed away Peacefully at 6:20 AM on 10/15/08
Hi All, I just wanted to give you an update on Dad. Dad's at a very nice place called KC Hospice House. It is run by the palliative care and hospice organization that we have been using.
Things started going downhill for Dad two weeks ago. He was going to start a new chemo drug. His CT scan on Sept. 16th had shown significant growth. We knew any chemo drug would affect Dad adversely. He asked me what he should do and I told him not to do it. I asked the nurse practitioner at an appt. on Sept. 26th the prognosis with the chemo and she told me three to six months. Dad opted not to take treatment. He already had a tumor in the lymph nodes at the base of his right neck that had popped up three days earlier.
On Monday, Sept. 29th, I called our social worker to get Dad transitioned over to hospice care. One of the admissions people came and spoke with us the following morning. we had to have all the equipment switched out due to billing purposes. After that, it has been a steady decline in Dad.
He has gone from semi-independence to complete dependence in a matter of two weeks. Dad was never relaxed here at the house. He had a lot of anxiety. His breathing has changed. In fact, when he was here at the house, Dad would complain that he was not getting enough oxygen. He would constantly change his tubing or make one of us do it. He lost the ability to walk Monday night. He fell at least six times between 8:30 PM and 4 AM Monday night and Tuesday morning. At one point, someone sad he saw his Dad who passed away on July 22, 1991.
Tuesday morning, I left a message for our social worker that we had a really bad night. We had met with her on Monday so she knew what our situation was. She returned my call and started getting things in motion to get Dad admitted to Hospice House.
Dad was transferred to Hospice House shortly after 5 PM. The EMTs allowed me to ride up front in ambulance. My two oldest brothers stood out in the front yard as the ambulance pulled away. I thought that I was going to lose it when we started pulling away from the house. It was a very emotional ride.
I got Dad admitted. That took about 30 mins.
Everyone is so nice at Hospice House. Dad is getting wonderful care. He had a lot of visitors last night. He had 26 visitors including me. We have some relatives from out of town. We were too noisy. They showed us a room that was available to families. It has a piano and a kitchenette. When we have a large number of visitors we need to leave the room, we can send them to that room if it is available.
My dad is in the process of dying. It is a matter of time before he passes. I am sad but relieved. I saw my dad struggle so badly before he was transferred to hospice house. He is now relaxed.
Kristi -- My Photo Gallery: »www.simplykristi.smugmug.com/ |
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  SueN Premium join:2000-08-22 Lost clubs: 
| Re: Update on Dad
 May you all be held in His loving hands. -- Live, Love, Laugh, Longer & Healthier - Come join Team Helix. |
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  squirt cacatne alces in silvis? Premium join:2004-04-27 Out Grazing clubs: | reply to simplykristi Thanks for the news. It sounds like the hospice is a wonderful place. |
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  Vtblues if you can't get out of it, get in to it Premium join:2006-05-29 Brookfield, VT clubs:   | reply to simplykristi You and your family are in my prayers |
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  santy Don't Follow Me, I'M Lost Too Premium,MVM join:2001-06-10 Wilmington, IL clubs: | reply to simplykristi You and your entire family are in my prayers. May HE grant you the strength to get thru this. -- You don't quit playing 'cause you're OLD. You're old BECAUSE you quit playing!! |
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  ehansman Good thing I like watching WRC Premium,MVM join:2002-01-21 Over Here clubs:
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| reply to simplykristi Your father is in excellent hands, Kristi. May the hospice workers help you and your family find peace during this difficult time. I've been wondering and worrying about you. Thank you for posting this, even though I am sure it was hard to do. You are in my thoughts, dear. -- Go Kimi Go! 2007 World Champion - Yeah! |
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Host: Team Helix Distributed Comput.. Linksys Comcast HSI Comcast Cable TV
| reply to simplykristi You were asked an extremely tough question and you bravely gave the unselfish answer. You put your dad's best interests first. That is love, Kristi. Your father has a courageous and loving daughter. I think he knows it, too.
May God's love, comfort and peace surround you all through this sad time and may you all draw on His strength to endure it. -- Join Team Helix * I am praying for these friends . |
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  TwoFrogs Cacology adumbrates pendemonium Premium,MVM join:2002-01-20 Hell Main Fl clubs:  | reply to simplykristi As always, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers, Kristi. |
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  suprleg Abracadabra Premium join:2004-05-06 Garden Grove, CA clubs:  | reply to simplykristi It's difficult to know the right things to say at such a time, but know our thoughts and prayers are with you all. -- Team Discovery Team Helix |
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  signmeuptoo Folding and Crunching Not just Breakfast Premium join:2001-11-22 LOSTinSpace clubs:  | reply to simplykristi Bless you Kristi, and bless your dad and your entire family. My prayers are with all of you. |
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  Jodokast96 R.I.P Bassman442 Premium join:2005-11-23 Erial, NJ | reply to simplykristi So very, very sorry to hear that things have taken a turn for the worse. |
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  simplykristi Cancer Sucks Premium join:2001-11-28 Metro KC
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| reply to simplykristi Thanks all for the thoughts and prayers! They mean so much to me and my family.
I am at the hospice house right now. I am sitting in the family room and thought that I would post a quick update.
I am going to stay with my dad tonight. I just felt the need to stay tonight. My youngest brother stayed last night. He will probably stay tomorrow night.
Dad seems a little worse today. He's not as coherent as yesterday. He keeps asking when he is going home. I tell him soon. My heart is breaking into a million pieces right now as I watch him make this journey from this life to the next.
I will post more later.
Thanks again, everyone!
Kristi -- My Photo Gallery: »www.simplykristi.smugmug.com/ |
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  Gizy Have you thanked a soldier today? Premium join:2002-08-26 Lake Oswego, OR clubs: | Kristi, You, your dad, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you all find comfort and peace during such a difficult time. |
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  PeteC2 Got Mouse? Premium,MVM join:2002-01-20 Bristol, CT clubs:
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| Kristi, I know that this is one of the most difficult parts of this process for family to go through. We went through something similar several years back with my wife's aunt who had inoperable cancer. It was particularly hard to see her go from being very "coherent" and "there" to slowly drifting off and no longer being quite the same person that we knew and loved, almost as if she was leaving her body behind. Perhaps it was so?
You do need to remember that you have done the very best that you could for your dad..."perfect?"...who knows, but certainly, you have given all that you could...and you need to find some solace in that. We are all just visitors here...we all have some time, some more, some less, then we move on... -- ...something is happening here but you don't know what it is...do you, Mr. Jones? |
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  simplykris
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| reply to simplykristi Hi All, It's about 12:15 PM here. My dad is still here. He is slowly making his journey from this world to the next.
There were three of us who stayed overnight... My best friend, my youngest brother, and me. My youngest brother came up after I had called him to tell him that there were some changes in his breathing. I had asked my best friend to stay with me. I just felt uneasy.
Dad is sleeping peacefully after some Haldol and Ativan this morning. We will not wake him if we don't have to.
Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers and healing light.
Kristi
P.S. For some strange reason, I can't log in. |
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  SueN Premium join:2000-08-22 Lost clubs: 
| May he pass gently.... |
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  BadHat Hook'M Horns Premium join:2003-10-14 Rosa's Place clubs:   | reply to simplykristi Prayers for your family... |
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  simplykristi Cancer Sucks Premium join:2001-11-28 Metro KC
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| reply to simplykristi Hi All, Thanks so much for the prayers and thoughts and all! They are much appreciated.
I am now able to log back in. 
Dad is still here.... He's slowly shutting down tho. Dad now has a catheter... He finally consented to one this afternoon. Dad has not eaten much. He's still drinking some tho. I think that he is becoming less coherent.
I am going to stay tonight again. My best friend is going to stay with me in case something happens.
I will post later.
Kristi -- My Photo Gallery: »www.simplykristi.smugmug.com/ |
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  squirt cacatne alces in silvis? Premium join:2004-04-27 Out Grazing clubs:
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| I'm glad you're friend is staying with you while you stay with your dad.
I remember staying with my dad (and years earlier with my mom) during this stage of his life.
Praying for your dad and you. -- Jamais le mal naura le dernier mot. La foi et lamour déplacent les montagnes de la haine. - Marguerite (Maggy) Barankitse
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1 edit | Edit: Should say "reply to Kristi"...
This is my father's favorite poem. He asked me to read it at my mother's memorial service.
You are in my thoughts, and I thought you might enjoy it.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote this in 1889 as his own elegy, and it is traditionally the last poem in his poetry anthologies. _____________________________________________________________________
Crossing the Bar
Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me! And may there be no moaning of the bar, When I put out to sea, But such a tide as moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam, When that which drew from out the boundless deep Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell, And after that the dark! And may there be no sadness of farewell, When I embark;
For though from out our bourne of Time and Place The flood may bear me far, I hope to see my Pilot face to face When I have crossed the bar. -- "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crispy and good with catsup." |
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