steve_NVa
join:2005-02-13
Leesburg, VA
2 edits | Tech support calls
Top 10 excerpts from this weeks tech support calls:
10. Is the internet light on your router lit?
Yes.
What does the internet light on your router look like?
I don't know.
9. We have a problem.
OK, we noticed you were having connection problems about an hour ago and we are already working on it, and it should be fixed quickly.
It's been going on for two days.
We noticed the problem over an hour ago, an hour before you first called to tell of the problem. We will have it fixed quickly.
2 days, that's not quick.
I'm sorry, I think you're looking for the clairvoyant support dept.
8. Is the internet light on your router lit?
All the lights are on.
Do you see the symbol of a lower case i with a little circle next to the number 1?
Yes.
Is it lit up?
No.
7. Our internet is down.
Does your PC have a good connection to your router?
Yes.
Is the PC connected to the router by cable or wireless?
I don't know.
6. Is the internet light on your router lit?
No.
And you are having trouble downloading web pages but email still works well?
Yes.
5. My internet connection is down.
Do you use Vonage?
Yes.
Are you using it for this call?
Yes.
4. Is the internet light on your router lit?
Yes.
What kind of router do you have?
I don't know.
Do you have a router?
I don't know.
3. Our internet is very slow.
Does your PC have a good wireless connection?
Yes.
OK Mrs Smith, what wireless network is your laptop connected to?
JonesHomeRouter.
2. Is the internet light on your router lit?
Yes.
Is the power light on your router on?
No.
1. My internet connection has been down 2 days and I want a refund for the down time.
We disconnected you and stopped billing 6 months ago for failure to pay. |
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smeghead
join:2009-02-11 | Those are all things I deal with on a daily basis as well.
Common sense to us, but brain surgery to the masses.
I'm sure if we were to call for help on fixing a car or something we were not fluent in we'd look equally stupid. |
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Killa200
Premium
join:2005-12-02
Spring City, TN
 ·AT&T Southeast
| reply to steve_NVa
said by steve_NVa  :1. My internet connection has been down 2 days and I want a refund for the down time. We disconnected you and stopped billing 6 months ago for failure to pay. At that point i would so break in with "but now that we have you on the phone can i get an updated and valid credit card to process your due bills with us? We can certainly reconnect your service after that" |
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viperm
Carpe Diem
Premium
join:2002-07-09
Winchester, CA
| reply to steve_NVa
thats nothing our wireless sales guy ( formwer wireless owner) signed up a 90 year lold lady that does not even remember we were ever there to install the internet.
She calls once a day to have one of us walk her thru HOW to use the internet and get or E_mail .
I finally sent one of the techs out to paste a paper to her monitor with step by step instructions.
We have spent over 24 hours in tech visits and phone calls on this woman..
I feel bad but on the other hand we are here to run a business and make money..
--
ComTrain Certified Tower Climber. American Tower Certified approved contractor. Wireless consultants. |
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dr mongolia
join:2008-07-03
United State
 ·Cox HSI
| IMHO, this is where it pays to have a clearly defined customer service policy. That way you know when to to say, "Sure, let me get you the number to your vendor so they can help you with that. We don't maintain the operating system (or application) so we wouldn't be the best people to ask, but if you have any problems with your Internet connection please call us any time." Etc etc. Some users may cancel due to this, but those are the users you would have otherwise lost money on anyway.
I've also found that giving out a 1-800 number as opposed to local/cell numbers makes people a LOT less likely to call with general computing questions, yet they'll still report outages/service conditions. I use kall8.com for our 1-800 setup, it's pretty nice. You can have the 1-800 number forward to whatever number(s) you wish, you can play "waiting" music on it (and a greeting message), you can set it to record every call, etc. |
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maxit
join:2009-02-22
Fort St James, BC
| My Internets been down for ___ (insert number of weeks since last bill). I run an important online business, I want it fixed right now!
Onsite tech: We warned you about those trees three years ago. Those poplars have grown right in line with your antenna.
Customer: Well cut them down.
Tech: We install dishes, we don't do logging.
Customer: Well cancel my service then if your Internet doesn't "work"
My computer icon says "your" signal strength is Extremely low. What are you going to do about it?
FAVE:
what does ipconfig say your IP address is?
192.168.1.111
Then you're not connected to your network Your Windows server gives out 10.10.1 addresses
Bullshit
Open a browser, go to 192.168.1.1 and what does it say?
Login for 802.11g router
What is the IP listed on the Status page?
0.0.0.0
Then you're connected to a wireless router that's not plugged into your network.
No I'm not! What do you know anyway? My Internet doesn't work, FIX IT right now! |
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CMack
join:2004-07-30
canada | reply to steve_NVa
Too funny, keep them coming Steve |
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Inssomniak
Premium
join:2005-04-06
Cayuga, ON
| reply to steve_NVa
Customer: "We have 2 computers connected to a router and one doesnt have internet, when are you coming to fix it?"
Customer: "We havent had Internet for 3 days, whats taking so long to fix it?"
Us: "when did you call first about the problem?"
Customer: "Just right now." |
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Killa200
Premium
join:2005-12-02
Spring City, TN | reply to steve_NVa
i love hearing all these... but shutter myself because i know these comments about sum up my operating area... |
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Nitroxide
join:2009-06-05
| reply to Inssomniak
I love the people that do this
Them: "We've been down for 3 weeks now. This needs to be fixed RIGHT now I can't believe it takes so long"
Me: "So you phone me after 3 weeks of having an issue and you're surprised it's taking long to fix? If your TV is out would you wait 3 weeks to phone and then complain that it's taken too long to fix?"
Them: "..."
Me: "..." |
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AMD Phreak
Premium
join:2003-12-14 | I love using that awkward silence moment. I usually follow it up with a "huh" comment. |
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CMack
join:2004-07-30
canada | reply to Nitroxide
regarding the tv analogy...yes they will wait, usually their comment is "I thought someone else would have called"
response: ahh well your the only one having an issue, why would anyone else call? |
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kewlkeed
Grouch
Premium
join:2005-02-05
Knowlton, QC
| reply to steve_NVa
LMAO I think I see that quite commonly too where they call only after being out for a ridiculous time.
"Well surely other people must be having problems"
"NO"
"Well has anyone else called"
"NO"
"But this must affect others"
"NO"
"So we really are the only ones"
"YES"
Then by the end of the call you find out someone unplugged the PoE. All they do is plug it in and away they go...
"But shouldn't there be something that could be done about that?"
"Yes, don't unplug the PoE"
"Oh"
--
Justin - DSLR resident grouch and Mr Negativity
TSI Fanboy - "Dontchya wish your 'net was hot like mine! Ohhh Dontchya!"
Have a nice day! |
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maxit
join:2009-02-22
Fort St James, BC | reply to steve_NVa
I love the line of sight issue. Customers are dismissive and sometimes enraged they must chop down some trees to see the transmitter.
Then you look, and they've felled as swath for sat tv... |
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kewlkeed
Grouch
Premium
join:2005-02-05
Knowlton, QC
| reply to steve_NVa
I laughed, we had one client who insisted he'd do anything for signal.
We showed up, there were a couple dudes with chainsaws waiting. We pointed, and he yelled to them to start cutting and we told them when to stop.
He didn't care if half the forest went down.
--
Justin - DSLR resident grouch and Mr Negativity
TSI Fanboy - "Dontchya wish your 'net was hot like mine! Ohhh Dontchya!"
Have a nice day! |
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kewlkeed
Grouch
Premium
join:2005-02-05
Knowlton, QC | reply to steve_NVa
As an addon it was even more amusing since the guy understood some general RF stuff. So we gave him the signals and he just laughed "Bah I can squeeze at least 5 more db outa that!... KEEP GOING!" as he's waving at the cutters. |
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superdog
I Need A Drink
Premium,MVM
join:2001-07-13
Lebanon, PA
| I installed a customer a few years back. The radio was on the roof and inside, they had quite a few devices (computers, xboxes, playstations etc.), so I installed a switch on their desk. A few days later, I get the famous call "My internet doesn't work?", so since this customer is on my way home, I stop.
Once inside, I see the switch is missing from the desk. I do a little nosing around (as they are following me around complaining how they pay $20 a month, and for that amount of $$, it should always be working???) and see all of the CAT5 cables running into the litter box along side of the desk. As it turns out, the switch fell off the desk into the litter box. This must have angered the 4 cats because an alien device entered their space, so they promptly pissed on it a few times and then covered it up with litter and cat shit.
Needless to say, when I showed them the Linksys switch in the litter box, the look on their faces was classic!. I told them to have a nice day and left, as the cause of their problems were obvious, LOL.
--
»www.wavecrazy.net
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maxit
join:2009-02-22
Fort St James, BC
| Two classics in 2 days:
"My internet is down, when are you going to fix it."
-(looking it up) It's been suspended because you're six months in arrears
"I'm trying to run a business here! Turn it back on now!"
"We came in to see if you still want that radio on our roof"
- Actually a bailiff recovered it for us last month because you were sent to collections over a year ago for nonpayment. The check bounced for the previous year's Internet and we sent you half a dozen letters before we sent you to collections.
"Well you have your equipment back, can you call the collection agency and tell them we're square now? We can't get our Visa limit raised until you do..." |
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kewlkeed
Grouch
Premium
join:2005-02-05
Knowlton, QC | reply to steve_NVa
LMMFAO! Nice!  |
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battleop
join:2005-09-28
00000
| reply to steve_NVa
"5. My internet connection is down.
Do you use Vonage?
Yes.
Are you using it for this call?
Yes."
I've been fighting with a customer who has a "A+" tech that manages their network. We provide them with a T1 for Data and VoIP. I get two or three calls a month from their "A+" tech to report their Internet is down. Each time I point out to them they are calling from a voip line that's connected to our soft switch. Then he reboots their watch guard and the Internet starts working again. Then the owner gets on the phone to raise hell and ask for a credit. This tool thinks that once you become an "A+" you are above all other certs. |
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