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Om Nom Nom

Lincoln, NE
reply to Adalicia

You Awaken In Razor Hill (Part Eleven)

> Send Scratchfever to patrol around the village while prowling

A little annoyed at being shown up, you send Scratchfever off to pick a Patrol Route around the Perimeter of Sen'Jin Village. He picks a route that will take him around the entire village and relatively close to the water, but not close enough to be dangerous.

At least, he hopes.

> Wish you were a Forsaken, because at least then you could get your health back from eating these fucking corpses.

The Forsaken. Hell of a race. They throw some... interesting parties, but you're not entirely sure you'd ever want to be one, really.

They're about the only race on Azeroth more plagued with terrible smells than you are (except maybe Tauren. And Trolls. God, why does the Horde have to smell so bad?), but to your understanding almost none of them still have a sense of smell at all, so it might not be all that bad.

Then again, their women kind of creep you out. One of them once told you she “Couldn't wait to suck the juice out of your eyeballs.”

There were worms in her left nostril.

You shudder at the memory.

> Learn the male Troll dance, if not, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Now that Scratchfever is someplace else, you are free to make a total ass of yourself without worrying about embarrassing yourself in front of your cat.

You've seen this done a million times. You stand on a straw mat, flex out your legs a little to get them all limber, shuffle back and forth to get yourself into the rhythm, spin, lift, swing and kick yourself right in the face.

You spend a few long moments flat on your back, your fingers pressed over your bleeding nose.

> Try to log.

You know, after all this time, you're not sure how to log off. It just... it just sort of happens.

You try to walk yourself through it.

You sit down carefully, close your eyes, and count to 20.

You keep your eyes closed. Yes. Yes! It's working! You can feel it! Soon you'll be at your Character Selection screen and freedom, sweet blissful freedom!

You try as hard as you can not to cry.

> I go to the ocean. Look at the view.
> Scratch balls.
> Kill some hermit crabs.
> Skip rocks
> Wade out into the water and look for fish.

Oh, there's fish out there. Well, not fish, fish have bones, Sharks are cartilaginous, vertebrates with no actual bone to them. But jeez, everybody knows that.

You creep to the edge of the ocean and peer at the waves.

Okay, this is as close as you're getting. You can't make anything out about them apart from that each appears to be somewhere in the neighborhood of about fifteen feet long and there are several dozen of them down there.

They drift slowly, seemingly aimlessly, barely moving at all.

They don't appear to have noticed you, as they make no threatening motions whatsoever.

It might be Aspect of the Beast at work, making you hopefully invisible to them, but it also may simply be that they're not attacking because they're not supposed to attack yet.
This game seems to have had a lot of scripted events so far.
It makes you a bit nervous. You'd really like to avoid having to deal with several dozen Starving Amphibious Sharks, but there's really no telling what could set them off.

You put down the Small Rock you were about to skip, as it suddenly doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore.

> Eagle eye around to try see what the FUCK is going on.

Again, nothing but your own ass. This Abyssal Darkness does not play well with Eagle Eye.

> Pop Snake Trap, wait until they have died, extract the venom, then skin and immolation trap the snake corpses to have some cooked food

You place a Snake Trap on the ground and stomp your heel into the center to make it go.

Magic squirts out from under your boot, twisting and congealing into dozens of long, writhing shapes that quickly solidify into snakes.

The Snakes slither around for a moment, looking for something to attack, get bored and begin to despawn with alarming speed.

You manage to snatch three up and smack them against a rock. One of them despawns in your hand, but you manage to harvest some Snake Trap Venom from the other two before they vanish.

(Tednugent has received item: One (1) Dose Crippling Poison
Tednugent has received item: One (1) Dose Deadly Poison)

> check large pot for big drugs. Er, I mean food.
> Examine Large Pot
> Reignite the bonfire and sing Kumbaya
> Use flare to reignite HUGE FIRE.

You approach the Large Pot and peek inside.

There is a Cardboard Box in here that reads My First Voodoo Kit. You retrieve this quickly.

(Tednugent has received item: My First Voodoo Kit!)

There are Strange Stains inside the Pot, some kind of dark matter congealed into a chunky crust that you can't chip off to get a better look at. There's nothing else inside here.

You hurl your Flare at the logs from a good, safe distance. Your health is a bit low and you don't particularly care for the Narrator's sense of humor when it comes to pyrotechnics and your personal safety.

> Attempt to start a new quest by waving the [Filthy Flaxpaper With Potential Quest] around your head and running around Sen'Jin Village screaming various greetings, profanities and pick-up-lines strung together in completely incoherent sentences.
> If that works, begin quest.

Shrieking “I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU” and “MY YOU'RE A TALL ONE”, you hurl yourself through the town, waving your Filthy Flaxpaper with Potential Quest over your head like a flag. “YOUR GOLD IS WELCOME HERE,” your roar at a stack of dead fish, shake the Filthy Flaxpaper at it and hurl yourself at the Large Pot. You grasp it with both hands and scream “I'VE GOT WHAT YOUUUU NEEEEEEEEED” until there's nothing left in you.

You sink down to your knees, exhausted, gasping for breath, leaning hard against the Large Pot to at least keep you vaguely upright.

You look at the Filthy Flaxpaper.

That flickering golden exclamation point still hovers over it, same as ever, the Occult Needlepoint completely unchanged.

If only you'd found something, anything, perhaps near where you found this Flaxpaper, perhaps right there in the same room, perhaps in fact found sitting right next to the Old Crate you got the Flaxpaper out of, that could possibly help you figure out what you're supposed to do with it.

> check the whole of sen'jin for anything useful, booze, ammo, edible food and drinkable water, etc.
> Thoroughly search the town for any edible substance. (assuming food will restore health and mana as usual, if it won't skip this)
> Look for supplies
> Search the town thoroughly for any information.

Well alright then. Time to check out the town.

You tug your Exciting Undergarments down from the top of your head until they're resting snugly around your nose to cut out at least a little of the stench and open up your bags in preparation for some Fill Tilt Pillage.

> check skinner's hut for signs of what sort of animals this guy skinned last. Maybe you can find some hints as to what happened to the native life. Or maybe you'll find another mutilated corpse, and have another opportunity to soil yourself.

Well, you sure can't wait for another opportunity to soil yourself, because man, that sudden feeling of soft warmth down your thighs just never gets old.

The Skinner's Hut is closest, you decide on that one first.

This is a small, ramshackle hut with only three walls. The Skinner is nowhere to be found, but he left behind numerous chemicals used in tanning hides, a workbench, and most of a Skinned Boar.

You bite your lip and crouch next to the Skinned Boar, sniffing carefully. It hasn't been dead too long, this meat isn't rank, and it looks like it was shot in the neck with an arrow or a crossbow, so there's very little chance this flesh is Tormented. You inspect it carefully for maggots, poisons, traps, monsters, Lesser Ravening Worms and are finally assured the Skinned Boar is safe to steal the shit out of.

You haul it out of the Skinner's Hut, pull the Large Pot off of the Communal Fire, lash the Skinned Pig to the Wooden Frame and sit back for a second as the welcoming smell of Roasting Pork cuts away a bit of the Omnipresent Stench of Fish.

It'll be a little bit before its done, but man, it is starting to smell good.

You give the rest of the Skinner's Hut a once-over, to see if there's anything else of note.

There are Tanning Chemicals here
There is a Skinner's Workbench here
There is a Skinning Knife here
There are some Fur Scraps here
There are some Animal Parts here

> check fisherman's hut for a fishing pole or two to set up in hopes of catching something edible, or at least make a fun cat toy out of
> Poke fish. Perhaps there are some non-rotten ones...

Right away, you find some Salted Fish.

You cannot stand the taste of this crap, but it is like heroin to Scratchfever.

He completely loses his shit over it, he will do whatever it takes to get his teeth into it.

You wrap the Salted Fish up in This (badly burned) Thing, to keep Scratchfever from smelling you've found some. He needs to be patrolling right now, not getting all weird over dehydrated seafood.

(Tednugent has received item: Two (2) Salted Fish)

While you're here, you use your magnificent Engineering skill to make a Jaunty Cat Toy for Scratchfever out of three Fishing Poles, several balls of tackle and as many Fishhooks as you can fit.

He is going to love this.

(Tednugent receives item: Deadly Fishhook Flail!)

That's about all that's in here. It's the exact same architecture as the Skinner's Hut, right down to the Workbench in the exact same place. The hut's walls are lined with Fishing Poles in various sizes, and there are Fishhooks just absolutely everywhere. Everywhere. Every single surface is covered in loose Fishhooks.

It's a little weird.

There is a Fisherman's Workbench here.
There is a Wall of Fishing Poles here.
There is a Ton of Fishhooks here.
There is some Fishing Line here.
There is a Lot of Dead Fish here.
There is a Rotting Old Fishing Boat here.


oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

you run around in circles with the Rotting Old Fishing Boat hoisted up over your head, you are so excited.


> Go to the inn and find some courage already!
> Try to salvage any remaining alcohol in the village and get completely smashed

While you wait to figure out what you'll do with the Rotting Old Boat, which is filled with massive holes and is about as seaworthy as a bucket filled with chum, you decide it's time to check out that Inn.

This is a two-story Troll Inn, the architecture is similar to the huts, but this Inn is much more elaborate. The Central Area is broad and split into several small alcoves, once home to yet more Quest Givers and Vendors, now familiarly vacant. There is a Crude Stairwell at the back of the Inn that leads up to what was once the Office of the Town Head.

You toss this place like you are the Thought Police and someone in here once dared to love. You hurl mats aside, topple bookshelves, rip decorations off the walls and just make a total mess of the entire place in your search for some sweet, sweet Liquid Courage.

You don't find any. Any. Not even a drop. This is ridiculous. You've partied with Trolls before, those guys are never sober. Where the hell is all their Liquid Courage?

In your zeal, you have uncovered a few things:

There is a Ledger here.
There is a Pile of Books here.
There is an Innkeepers Desk here.
There is a Small, Cheap Metal Key here.
There is a Pile of Decorative Voodoo Masks here.
There is a Stairwell Up here.

> Check the Blacksmith to find any way to repair or replace equipment. Including checking for available supplies.
> Go to the blacksmithy and repair your chest armor with your awesome engineering skills. Steal whatever materials are needed (what kinda smithy doesn't keep lots of metal bars around?)
> Search for ammunition at the smithy. If none, make your own, you engineer you.
> Examine Blacksmiths place. You can repair your armour! You've seen people do this thousands of times before! ... As they blatantly fucking rip you off. Repairmen... Bah!
> Try to see if you can repair your chest and say " Oh I should’ve helped my dad with repairing stuff when he asked, instead of playing Warcraft all day"

Blacksmithy's is next. Best for last. Look at all that iron. Look at all those anvils. This is the perfect place for a Legendary Engineer.

You give it a cursory once-over and find oh thank god ammo oh oh oh thank god thank god

(Tednugent receives item: Five Hundred (500) Saronite Shells
Tednugent now has 750 Saronite Shells
Tednugent receives item: Blacksmith's Hammer)

Alright. Time to give that Engineer in you a solid workout. Let's repair us some gear!

You remove your Badly Damaged Mail Chest, lay it on an anvil, and hit it with the hammer a few times.

This... this doesn't seem to be working.

You rub your chin for a few moments deep in thought. With your tongue stuck firmly in your cheek, you lay a Gold Coin on the Badly Damaged Chest, and hit that.

(Your Mail Chest is now Damaged
You now have 55g.)

You're kidding.

You put a few more coins on the Damaged Chest and smack them with the hammer.

(Your Mail Chest is Fully Repaired.
You now have 50g)


Lore Nerd. Role Player. Raid Leader. Discipline Priest. Slightly Annoying. Also Likes Kittens.