Reviews:
 ·Primus Talkbroad..
| reply to EGeezer
Re: On the lighter side - corporate buzzwords I think we need to organize a corporate retreat, so we can brainstorm of the corporate value of buzzwords, in order to maximize our Return on Investment and reduce our Total Cost of Ownership.
We shall endeavour to enhance our corporate chemistry and negate the effects of inter-departmental discordance, enabling better relationship development and fostering personal growth.
For the buzzword-impaired: we're going on an all-inclusive vacation unknowingly paid for by the stock holders. Enjoy! |
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JoelC707Premium
join:2002-07-09
Stone Mountain, GA
kudos:4 | Gah, I can't find it anymore. One of the random fortunes I got on here several years ago was basically a buzzword generator. Probably from "how to win at wordsmanship". Basically it had 3 columns of words numbered 0-9. You picked a random 3 digit number ranging from 000-999 and you created this 3-word phrase that you could drop in any report and look "cool" and no one would be the wiser or something like that. Saved it into a text file and over the various formats and computer changes it must have gotten lost. Sure would fit nicely in this LOL |
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 dennismurphyPut me on hold? I'll put YOU on holdPremium
join:2002-11-19
Parsippany, NJ
 ·Verizon FiOS
 ·Optimum Online
| reply to EGeezer
said by EGeezer:Then, there are those execs whose resume says something like "Managed $300 million SAP implementation project" when all they accomplished was to make convoluted, buggy and inefficient business processes cause problems to occur at a higher rate of speed. 
The difference is, I can describe my project and what it does. And who (all 100m+ of you) uses it. |
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 EGeezerSummertimePremium
join:2002-08-04
Midwest
kudos:7
·Callcentric
| Apologies if you thought I was pointing at you with that one. 
A CIO where I worked came in with the executive suite chirping that song at the introductory meeting.
After a disastrous corporate-wide conversion attempt to Lotus and other issues, that CIO departed the organization for a non-IT position somewhere in the boonies. |
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 DarkLogixPremium
join:2008-10-23
Baytown, TX
kudos:3 | I know what you mean
there was once this CIO that wanted to centralize all servers at the corp office (the office with the lowest of all reliability) before he ever got anywhere near applying that idea he was re-titled and then quit |
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dennismurphyPut me on hold? I'll put YOU on holdPremium
join:2002-11-19
Parsippany, NJ Reviews:
·Verizon FiOS
·Optimum Online
| reply to EGeezer
said by EGeezer:Apologies if you thought I was pointing at you with that one.
A CIO where I worked came in with the executive suite chirping that song at the introductory meeting.
After a disastrous corporate-wide conversion attempt to Lotus and other issues, that CIO departed the organization for a non-IT position somewhere in the boonies.
Oh goodness no! I was just pointing out the difference between a resume line item and actually doing the work  |
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GHz
join:2002-01-02
Needham, MA | reply to EGeezer
Here are my additions:
"add value"
"business processes"
"managed out"
and of course the usual:
"take it over the goal line"
"team player" |
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InsderThere never was a second I in my namePremium
join:2005-04-27
Salem, MA | reply to EGeezer
said by EGeezer:Ah, this brings back memories of Monday morning staff meetings, Project rollout sessions and Friday lunch executive pep talks to the company cube rats in the cafeteria. This is the stuff that inspired bullshit bingo.
The next time you feel the need to reach out, touch base, shift a paradigm, leverage a best practice or join a tiger team, by all means do it. Just don’t say you’re doing it.
If you have to ask why, chances are you’ve fallen under the poisonous spell of business jargon. ...
» www.forbes.com/sites/groupthink/···-jargon/Enjoy, and feel free to recount your favorites. Not sure if it's been mentioned here, but "anything" synergy just annoys the hell out of me. That word has a meaning, but it's so over-used in the business buzz-word world.
--
The one, the only, the Insder. |
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