What you think.... tough love, or too extreme? - Canadian Chat

Author	All Replies
WhaleOilBee Keep on truckin' join:2011-08-02 Manotick, ON	reply to jaberi Re: What you think.... tough love, or too extreme? Looking in my crystal ball... I see a lonely old man who never had the 1st dance at his daughter's wedding - Never met his son-in-law - Never saw his grandchildren. His daughter, upon reaching 18, moved out and never spoke to her father again. Her father, being a total asshole, didn't know how to handle a rebellious teenage girl; played the big tough macho man; and acted more like a spiteful child than a responsible adult. *** The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime - Pink Floyd.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 20:59:11 ·
DKS Damn Kidney Stones Premium,ExMod 2002 join:2001-03-22 Owen Sound, ON kudos:2 Reviews: ·Bell Sympatico	said by WhaleOilBee: Looking in my crystal ball... I see a lonely old man who never had the 1st dance at his daughter's wedding - Never met his son-in-law - Never saw his grandchildren. I see a man who broke his heart for his daughter, who really never gave two shi** about anyone but herself. She moved out at 18 and moved away. Mom and dad realized the pressure they had been under and after a month of catching up with each other, realized the life was finally good. They didn't have to pay for a wedding, bail out the daughter's boyfriend or keep the grandchildren (who their daughter kept dropping every year or two) in clothes and food. -- Need-based health care not greed-based health care.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 21:07:16 ·
milnoc join:2001-03-05 H3B kudos:1	reply to jaberi I smell a set-up here.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 21:08:56 ·
jfmezei Premium join:2007-01-03 Pointe-Claire, QC kudos:22 Reviews: ·ELECTRONICBOX	reply to DKS In this particular case, because the dad played the social media card, how her friends react to this new "viral" video may determine how she reacts to her dad. It is possible that if the dad's video has gone viral, that the folks of her generation may see the dad as cool and the girl as uncool. Later on, hen she tries to get a serious job, that facebook entry will likely come back to haunt her. The fact that her dad showed her that there is nothing private on facebook is very good. I am quite sure she now knows that she cannot hide stuff she puts on facebook.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 21:12:24 ·

WhaleOilBee Keep on truckin' join:2011-08-02 Manotick, ON	reply to DKS said by DKS: said by WhaleOilBee: Looking in my crystal ball... I see a lonely old man who never had the 1st dance at his daughter's wedding - Never met his son-in-law - Never saw his grandchildren. I see a man who broke his heart for his daughter, who really never gave two shi** about anyone but herself. I don't know what your child raising experience has been, but typically..... A young child adores its parents; daddy is the smartest, most generous, and wonderful man in the universe. A teenager thinks that daddy is the stupidest, meanest, asshole despot that ever roamed the earth. They hate you, and let you know it. A 20-something realizes that daddy wasn't so stupid after all as they start to build a life for themselves and see why you did the things you did. You share in their life and they actively seek your advise. From their 30's until you die, they're still your child, but they're also your best friends with whom you can be entirely comfortable; no pretension or ulterior motives - they're family. They have probably surpassed you by now and you are so proud. You start to ask for their advice on some matters. ------ What a shame to blow that lifetime of wonderful experiences because you couldn't ride out few years of dealing with a haywire hormone fueled lunatic by simply being mature, and patient; and resist shooting their laptop. I think this guy is a total jerk.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 21:57:15 ·
DKS Damn Kidney Stones Premium,ExMod 2002 join:2001-03-22 Owen Sound, ON kudos:2 Reviews: ·Bell Sympatico	said by WhaleOilBee: said by DKS: said by WhaleOilBee: Looking in my crystal ball... I see a lonely old man who never had the 1st dance at his daughter's wedding - Never met his son-in-law - Never saw his grandchildren. I see a man who broke his heart for his daughter, who really never gave two shi** about anyone but herself. I don't know what your child raising experience has been, but typically..... A young child adores its parents; daddy is the smartest, most generous, and wonderful man in the universe. A teenager thinks that daddy is the stupidest, meanest, asshole despot that ever roamed the earth. They hate you, and let you know it. A 20-something realizes that daddy wasn't so stupid after all as they start to build a life for themselves and see why you did the things you did. You share in their life and they actively seek your advise. From their 30's until you die, they're still your child, but they're also your best friends with whom you can be entirely comfortable; no pretension or ulterior motives - they're family. They have probably surpassed you by now and you are so proud. You start to ask for their advice on some matters. ------ What a shame to blow that lifetime of wonderful experiences because you couldn't ride out few years of dealing with a haywire hormone fueled lunatic by simply being mature, and patient; and resist shooting their laptop. I think this guy is a total jerk. I have six kids. I think I know a little bit about raising children. Fortunately, all are now adults. Every one is different. None fit your pattern, at all. -- Need-based health care not greed-based health care.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 22:00:39 ·
WhaleOilBee Keep on truckin' join:2011-08-02 Manotick, ON	said by DKS: I have six kids. I think I know a little bit about raising children. Fortunately, all are now adults. Every one is different. None fit your pattern, at all. Sorry to hear that; really, no sarcasm. You don't have a good relationship as equals with your adult children? I did with my parents and with my offspring; all of my friends my age do as well. You're still the parent and they're still the child, but all the subservient "I'm your father" bullshit should have faded away leaving just mutual love and respect.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 22:14:28 ·
Link Logger Premium,MVM join:2001-03-29 Calgary, AB kudos:3 Reviews: ·Shaw	reply to Thane_Bitter said by Thane_Bitter: Waste of a laptop, ammo and semi-careless use of a firearm. He should have just cleaned the drive and given it away to a more deserving child and filmed it. I like this idea more so, but I'm sure a number of parents understand exactly what this guy was thinking, her computer was a source of a problem and he fixed it. Blake -- Vendor: Author of Link Logger which is a traffic analysis and firewall logging tool
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 22:16:34 ·
DKS Damn Kidney Stones Premium,ExMod 2002 join:2001-03-22 Owen Sound, ON kudos:2 Reviews: ·Bell Sympatico	reply to WhaleOilBee said by WhaleOilBee: said by DKS: I have six kids. I think I know a little bit about raising children. Fortunately, all are now adults. Every one is different. None fit your pattern, at all. Sorry to hear that; really, no sarcasm. You don't have a good relationship as equals with your adult children? I did with my parents and with my offspring; all of my friends my age do as well. You're still the parent and they're still the child, but all the subservient "I'm your father" bullshit should have faded away leaving just mutual love and respect. I didn't say that I didn't have good relationships. All I'm saying is that there is a huge variation in relationship quality. And it's definitely not a relationship of equals. It will never be. And never assume that your pattern is everyone else's. It's not. -- Need-based health care not greed-based health care.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-10 22:37:32 ·
Parellel join:2009-08-06 London, ON	reply to jaberi Personally I do agree with what he did, but I think he could've done things a little differently. What I would have done is backed up all the data on the computer and then I would've wiped it and put it back in her room. Naturally when she comes home from school she's going to try and turn it on and freak out when it doesn't boot and run to her "IT daddy" to get it fixed. He could've explained the situation and told her that he'll restore her computer to the way it was after she gets a job and pays him for his services. Hell he could even give her the backup disk and tell her either figure it out herself or to take it to best buy or something and see what they charge for something as simple as restoring data from a backup, the point is to make her appreciate what you do for her... not to make her hate you. I'm all for punishing selfish kids, but putting a bunch of bullets in the laptop isn't the most productive or financially sensible thing to do.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-11 00:39:05 ·
jfmezei Premium join:2007-01-03 Pointe-Claire, QC kudos:22 Reviews: ·ELECTRONICBOX	said by Parellel: I'm all for punishing selfish kids, but putting a bunch of bullets in the laptop isn't the most productive or financially sensible thing to do. It is if the goal is to get your video to become viral and get all her friends to see it. he wasn't really talking to her, but to everyone around her.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-11 00:42:32 ·
highwire2007 join:2008-05-17 Nepean, ON	reply to jaberi I would have confiscated back my computer that I lent her. Maybe I'd sell it on Kijiji and use the money to buy myself something.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-11 15:22:22 ·
highwire2007 join:2008-05-17 Nepean, ON Reviews: ·TekSavvy DSL	reply to Parellel said by Parellel: I'm all for punishing selfish kids, but putting a bunch of bullets in the laptop isn't the most productive or financially sensible thing to do. It sure is fun though!
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-11 15:23:24 ·
jfmezei Premium join:2007-01-03 Pointe-Claire, QC kudos:22 Reviews: ·ELECTRONICBOX	reply to DKS said by DKS: I have six kids. Didn't your parents teach you about condoms ? Or are you so old that they had not been invented yet ? Considering how expensive kids are these days, very few people can afford 6 kids. And in terms of the phases of kids' relationship with parents, the final one was not mentioned: the one where the kids (now adults) take care of their old parents as if they were kids, worry when their dad still takes the car out for a drive, worry about their nutrition, ensures they eat their vegetables and not just desert etc etc etc. Some kids refuse this responsaility because they are too busy with their yuppy lives so they convince their parents to go to some retirement home not for the good of the parents, but so the kids don't have to spend so any time taking care of their senior parents.
	to forum · permalink · 2012-02-11 15:49:09 ·

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