You all have known me for several years now, and most of you know I've had a bit of a struggle, but that I've been trying to better myself and my lot.
When Dave died, it set something in motion which seems as though his spirit is there looking after me.
I've moved out of a deep rural dead zone that had zero opportunities to a lightly urban zone with opportunities and a support structure. My mental health is the best it has been in 15 years and I've grown by leaps and bounds (but still not good at some things, like saying the right things in a forum).
I am working with people that are helping me search for good work, plugging into ennoblement programs, and starting the steps to go back to college.
I hope that soon I will have a part time job and have the steps towards school funding all under way by sometime this summer. I want to work 16-25 hours a week and go to school full time. There are restrictions on just what I can do unless I choose to cut myself totally off, and since it all involves issues like money, suffice it to say, I'm not going there in this forum. Just want everybody to know that since moving back to CT for the first time since I was 18 (I am 53) I've been busy, daily, in pursuit of bettering my lot in life.
God willing, and if I can prove to myself that I still have the strength, will, and character, I will work my way through college and get a degree in computer science, get a REAL job, and finally bring my girl and our son here to the States.
I've hesitated with talking about this because normally we all like to see results, not talk. But suffice it to say that if I seem more upbeat of late, there is a reason why.
I AM dealing with some crises, but handling them. Housing is an issue ATM. If housing and having internet becomes a short term problem, I will try and let you all know rather than just fall off of the map, and check in as best as I can.
My two biggest challenges are getting a job in spite of having not worked for years, and convincing an employer I am worth it, and finding housing I can afford somewhere where bus goes and not so much crime that I am in fear for myself. My family has a LOT to say about what choices I make, and they don't agree with my idea of moving to the nearby city since I've been assaulted several times in my life. But housing is so much easier to find in the city...
Anyways, I hope that I am working by summer and going to school this fall. And then saving for wheels.
All of you here have been a great comfort for me and I know that at times I've surely tried each and every one of yours sense of patience. My apologies for my past dorkyness and my thanks to all of you for your efforts to fight cancer and support each other here.
God bless you all.
Oh, and Alain says hi! -- Join Teams Helix and Discovery. Rest in Peace, Leonard David Smith, my best friend, you are missed badly! Rest in peace, Pop, glad our last years were good. Please pray for Colin, he has ependymoma, a brain cancer, donate to a children's Hospital.
BTW, I am volunteering a couple days a week teaching computer skills to the disabled. It is a chance for me to interact with others, feel some purpose, and give to back to the community. It's not a big deal, really, just helping folks that don't know, for instance, that the F keys are not number keys. The aptitude of those I am helping varies, but it is a wonderful feeling helping folks. I must have been a counselor in a previous life, because I love doing nurturing things for others, it really makes me happy.
They don't want me working or going to school full time yet, even though my enthusiasm has ME wanting to do so.
But I must tell everyone, the pang of pain over the loss of my dad and Dave still hurts, I thought by now I'd be fine, but every time I remember them I wince a little. Dave's grave needs a nice headstone, one of my goals is to buy him one, and visit him whenever I can. I miss that big dude.
Last night Alain and I had a lovely chat about the future and our dreams. She is a lot of fun to dream with, and for that matter, she IS a dream, a dream come true, the most wonderful girl in the world (or, uhm, all you gals here are too!)
I want to start in summer school but we don't know if that will happen. I will probably have to take algebra II again since I am so rusty. I am hoping that one day, I write some of my own code and create some sort of business that makes jobs for people. Since going on medicine doesn't let my mind run wild with endless ideas like it used to, being creative isn't as natural, but I still get the occasional inspiration.
I am also looking at regaining some skill with the guitar. When I was a kid I was barely capable enough that I played in a couple bands (but you know, I think I sucked). I have a loner, it isn't a "good" guitar, more of a cracked, bowed, intonation challenged thing, but I've known some phenomenal musicians in my life, and every single one of them could make a bad instrument sound good, in fact, it is kind of a good idea to learn on a cheap instrument and learn how to compensate before buying a Gold Top 59 Gibson Les Paul, IYKWIM... -- Join Teams Helix and Discovery. Rest in Peace, Leonard David Smith, my best friend, you are missed badly! Rest in peace, Pop, glad our last years were good. Please pray for Colin, he has ependymoma, a brain cancer, donate to a children's Hospital.
That volunteer work sounds wonderful. A win-win situation since everybody involved gets something out of it.
Besides, volunteer work, and other endeavors that take you out into the public can surprisingly often present opportunities that you might never have been exposed to otherwise.
The more you are out of the house, and plugged into the community around you, the more likely good things may come your way.
This is true for all those who may be suffering unemployment due to this economy; when others see you out and about your daily business, you are "networking", and never know when someone may have an opportunity...just being "seen" can do wonders!
***Despite what some might say, opportunity almost never comes a'knocking whilst sitting on your couch! (sorry Icky! ) -- Deeds, not words
I can hardly believe it, but I just passed a phone interview. Have a person to person in a few days. I don't even have a suit, yikes! I felt so stupid in the phone interview but I passed somehow. Baby steps.
I used to work for a retailer, but they fired me, the darned tails kept falling off!
Was that a donkey retailer? That pin and blindfold gets tricky
I can relate to the movie A Nights Tale with the theme of changing ones stars. I wish you the best signmeuptoo. Seems there is plenty of opportunity, but the way to it is not always clear. The key is to pursue each dream as far as you can, and make the best of each experience.
The volunteering - and other avenues of networking will take you places you can never pre-plan. Besides doing good for others, it might open more doors. Prayers for your future outlook sent on high. --
Though the volunteering I don't do for any benefit, not seeking to get anything out of it, except that it makes me feel good helping people. It really isn't a big deal, anyways, it's not like I am going out building a nice house for a family down on their luck. (though I really wish I COULD be so useful!) -- Join Teams Helix and Discovery. Rest in Peace, Leonard David Smith, my best friend, you are missed badly! Rest in peace, Pop, glad our last years were good. Please pray for Colin, he has ependymoma, a brain cancer, donate to a children's Hospital.