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jaykaykay
4 Ever Young
Premium,MVM
join:2000-04-13
USA
kudos:24
Reviews:
·Cox HSI
·Speakeasy

5 recommendations

Have you ever sent a message like this?

This is to someone that I have been trying to get through how important it is that they use BCC for about a year. I've tried to explain to them in so many ways, that my head spins. I told them some time ago that I would end email to them if they didn't stop leaving my name and those of others on forwarded mail. They didn't believe me. Now they

Enough!!! For god's sake, it's not secrecy. When you use the Internet, mail or anything else, but specifically mail, you are sending that mail to not just those addresses shown, but potentially everyone in the World! It's called Privacy. Not Secrecy. You are not too old to learn something, and the fact that you continue with this attitude shows what lack of respect you hold for others, not just me. Using a computer requires some responsibility, just as driving a car does.

I know what your mail program looks like and BCC is offered and is easily used. Stop acting like such an ass!


I had to follow it up with this today:

xxxx;

This will be the last email I send you! You left my email address on it even if you don't understand why I have requested that you don't. If I put my cursor over my name, I can clearly see my email address as can anyone else using the same mail program I do.

I have enjoyed knowing you but cannot stand your sloppy way and disrespect for what I've requested for email.

When you share this message,
please help reduce "spam" by deleting my name
(and any other names ) from the top of your outgoing email....
and use "BCC:" instead of "To:" to enter the names of your recipients. Thanks
===========================

xxxx

--
JKK

Age is a very high price to pay for my maturity. If I can't stay young, I can at least stay immature!

»www.pbase.com/jaykaykay



KittyMom
Premium
join:2005-05-15
Pittsburgh, PA
kudos:9

1 recommendation

I don't blame you one bit for being upset.



NetFixer
Snarl For The Camera Please
Premium
join:2004-06-24
The Boro
Reviews:
·Cingular Wireless
·Comcast Business..
·Vonage
·Comcast
reply to jaykaykay

No, I haven't ever bothered to do that. I have contacted a few correspondents who seemed to always CC everyone in their address book to let them know what they were doing (just in case they were really that ignorant). But, if they didn't take the hint I figured that any followup would be ignored too.

I think that some people do it on purpose just to let everyone know that they might actually have some other "friends". Kind of like a Facebook user who makes everything totally public, and "friends" anyone who visits their page.

Me, I'm to grumpy to have any friends.
--
We can never have enough of nature.
We need to witness our own limits transgressed, and some life pasturing freely where we never wander.



jaykaykay
4 Ever Young
Premium,MVM
join:2000-04-13
USA
kudos:24
Reviews:
·Cox HSI
·Speakeasy

I was not grumpy. I was part of a political email group and didn't like having my mail sent to anyone else that was not on my list. Nobody else has argued and said mea culpa for well over a year! I have been trying to educate, and the upshot of this is that the person who got this message knows why. They have laughed it off/excused themselves for the last time. however, the rest of this group is still being sent mail from me and I will receive it.
--
JKK

Age is a very high price to pay for my maturity. If I can't stay young, I can at least stay immature!

»www.pbase.com/jaykaykay


dave
Premium,MVM
join:2000-05-04
not in ohio
kudos:8
Reviews:
·Verizon FiOS
reply to jaykaykay

Oh, I dislike bcc. It means you don't know who else it got sent to. It says 'sneaky' to me.

For example:

-------
To: You
Bcc: Your Boss
Subject: Please do what I asked right away!

(Nasty message, secretly copied to Your Boss).
-------


Yes, I realise one could just send separate copies...

Also, of course, BCC encourages email storms, since if you don't know I got a copy, you might forward it to me, and if I don't know you got a copy, I might forward it to you, and...

Overall, I think that trying to send email and keep your email address private are mutually contradictory goals.



jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA
kudos:1

3 recommendations

Well, dave, I do not use it to be sneaky and or to prohibit the other recipients from knowing who the other addressees are. (However, I know people who do!) I do it because a number of the people to whom I distribute e-mails only let me have their e-mail addresses if I assured them that I would keep them confidential.

If they want to correspond with my other recipients, they know how to do it. (For those who haven't figured this out, they can ask me, I'll check with the other person, and -- if accepted -- I'll pass it on.)

Also, a lot of the people to whom I distribute e-mails aren't particularly enamored of getting broadsided with any responses that should be directed solely to me, but the other addressee just blindly hits "Reply All".

I suppose there's also the 'dummy' To list with no real e-mail addresses, save my own.

So, I agree with jaykaykay on this.
--
Regards,
Joseph V. Morris



jadinolf
I Love You Fred
Premium
join:2005-07-09
Ojai, CA
kudos:8
Reviews:
·DSL EXTREME

1 recommendation

reply to jaykaykay

jaykaykay, I have had people with this problem so what I do is tell them to change my address to my gmail address so no matter what they do, gmail takes care of the SPAM.

One of my guys showed at least 200 email addresses at the top of his emails.
--
Printed on 100% Recycled Bytes


dave
Premium,MVM
join:2000-05-04
not in ohio
kudos:8
reply to jvmorris

Maybe my experience is more 'corporate' than 'personal'?

Also, by the way, if I'm not on the 'to' line, it's clear that no action is required from me!



jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA
kudos:1

1 recommendation

Yes, in a corporate involvement, your observations would be correct. The only 'person' I would BCC in business e-mails were me, myself, and I -- so that I would have an external copy of what I actually said -- just in case the original e-mail disappeared or ended up being altered.

However, my communications were not exactly 'personal' but rather in my position as an officer of the community's Board of Directors.
--
Regards,
Joseph V. Morris



jaykaykay
4 Ever Young
Premium,MVM
join:2000-04-13
USA
kudos:24
Reviews:
·Cox HSI
·Speakeasy

2 recommendations

reply to jaykaykay

Sneaky???????? No. Just private. And, yes, I could have changed the address to another account, but I don't check other accounts continually throughout the day nor have those accounts sent to me . This was just one of my pet peeves, the lack of knowing responsibility and taking it lightly. This person ultimately admitted that they were an ass, btw. I still will not accept email from them again. They crossed the line.

I am one of the most reasonable, nicest people you'll ever want to meet, and I teach whenever and wherever i am able. However, this person just took it too far after my trying to teach him for about a year or more the reasons to maintain a BCC addressing whenever sending to a group. It was something I learned here a long time ago!
--
JKK

Age is a very high price to pay for my maturity. If I can't stay young, I can at least stay immature!

»www.pbase.com/jaykaykay



jf_in_canada

@174.95.230.x
reply to jaykaykay

At work, I occasionnaly am called to send mass emails to a set of ~ 400 students. I use MS Word Mail Merge (to Email) with Outlook.

Sends separate emails (avoids any bcc, reply-all issues).



jadinolf
I Love You Fred
Premium
join:2005-07-09
Ojai, CA
kudos:8

1 recommendation

reply to jaykaykay

I am one of the most reasonable, nicest people you'll ever want to meet.

Oh yeah?

Prove it.
--
Printed on 100% Recycled Bytes


wat0114
Premium
join:2012-02-20
Calgary, AB

I think it's just one of those things that doesn't "sink in" easily for most people; they see the To... or cc... as harmless, non-invasive to others' privacy. It's just one of the risks for those using email one has to accept, that their messages could be forwarded to others. It pays to read the messages over carefully before sending them just to make sure it can't get one into hot water. Still, it's difficult to keep email exchanges private between only intended recipients.



sgtfrank

join:2000-09-04
Aurora, IL

1 recommendation

reply to jaykaykay

I, like jvmorris, have to totally agree with you. It's unfortunate that others cannot understand.
--
"Ol Sgt. Frank (ret).......



dandelion
Premium,MVM
join:2003-04-29
Germantown, TN
kudos:5

1 recommendation

reply to jaykaykay

I have gotten out of two groups that did the same thing, they couldn't quite understand my reasoning for not wanting their email.

One I was sorry to see go also.


MaynardKrebs
Heave Steve, for the good of the country
Premium
join:2009-06-17
kudos:4

3 recommendations

reply to jaykaykay

Try this:

Cut and paste the following into a new message that you compose, or use it as a signature:

"Please treat my email address like an unlisted telephone number. I wouldn't disclose your private unlisted telephone number without your explicit permission to do it, so please keep my e-mail address private by NOT using the Forward function of your e-mail program or including me in a To: field with many other addresses. Learn how to use the BCC: function."



altermatt
Premium
join:2004-01-22
White Plains, NY
Reviews:
·Verizon FiOS

2 recommendations

reply to jaykaykay

You've struck a chord for me (and many others, I suspect) with this. It is a pet peeve of mine, and I, too, have NICELY explained the use of bcc: to many of my clueless family and friends. Many of them actually started using it, and those who didn't, got a followup email requesting nicely that I be removed from their address book, and explaining why---and on those, I bcc'd everyone in the original mail they sent so that they, too, understand that everyone now has their email address thanx to this friend. All done nicely (never got far enough to call them an ass, but only because I didn't have the patience to go beyond two tries!)

A related peeve is those who forward stuff with every single header (and full body) of every single previous foward---both an annoyance AND a security issue since all those email addys are revealed. This is even worse.

I like MaynardKrebs email, and any other that makes the request, explains the privacy concerns (for those who never considered this), and also gives basic instructions (for the real newbies who never think to hit the help button.

As you said, JKK, "using a computer requires som responsibility." I for one am SICK of people who don't bother to learn just the basic foundations of common security.

Not to mention those idiots who send an entire 20 Mb. PowerPoint presentation instead of a link, those who respond to a mass mailing with a personal note, but cc everyone else (because they can't bother to learn the difference between reply and reply all), and those who think all caps is cute.
--
The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it. -- Stanley Kubrick



drew
Automatic
Premium
join:2002-07-10
Port Orchard, WA
kudos:6

1 recommendation

reply to jaykaykay

This is one thing that Outlook (when used with Exchange) does right. E-mail addresses aren't displayed so that if you get an e-mail at work addressed to you and your twenty-five co-workers and decide to forward that on to a home e-mail (let's say it's an invite to an after-hours Christmas party and not private corporate information) and your wife, you won't be exposing all your co-workers' email addresses. All they have is the GAL display name.

I do not enjoy having my e-mail sent out in the fashion you describe JKK, but have never done anything about it. I would say that I keep my e-mail communication relatively small and interface with mostly a younger generation that detests chain forward e-mails and keeps in contact in other ways.

On a somewhat related note: has anyone figured out how to teach people with similar e-mail addresses to submit THEIR e-mail address to places like Verizon, their local liquor store mailing list, a rehab center, BestBuy, etc.?
--
flickr | Of faith, power and glory



goalieskates
Premium
join:2004-09-12
land of big

1 recommendation

reply to jaykaykay

I haven't sent the message, but heaven knows I've wanted to. Some people just don't get it, no matter how hard you try. Eventually I just give up, set them as spam, and stop emailing them.

So you're kinder than I am - you at least tell them why.



CptGemini
Inside your computer
Premium
join:2004-11-29
Corpus Christi, TX
kudos:6
reply to jaykaykay

I guess they take the B in BCC to a whole new level lol.



J E F F
Whatta Ya Think About Dat?
Premium
join:2004-04-01
Kitchener, ON
kudos:1
reply to drew

Are you sure? I've gotten email with way too much personal detail...



Steve
I know your IP address
Consultant
join:2001-03-10
Yorba Linda, CA
kudos:5

2 recommendations

reply to jaykaykay

You gotta love a song that includes a reference to Bcc:

»www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCSA7kKNu2Y


[totally worth it even though there's an ad up front]


jaykaykay
4 Ever Young
Premium,MVM
join:2000-04-13
USA
kudos:24
Reviews:
·Cox HSI
·Speakeasy

1 edit

1 recommendation

reply to MaynardKrebs

"Please treat my email address like an unlisted telephone number. I wouldn't disclose your private unlisted telephone number without your explicit permission to do it, so please keep my e-mail address private by NOT using the Forward function of your e-mail program or including me in a To: field with many other addresses. Learn how to use the BCC: function."

Fabulous idea!!!

I don't think it will change anything except what might be seen on my email for a while, but I just changed my sig. Thank you!!!



jaykaykay
4 Ever Young
Premium,MVM
join:2000-04-13
USA
kudos:24

1 recommendation

reply to Steve

I love it!!! If only I felt it worth to send it to the person I just cut out of my email and put on my junk mail filtering. God bless Weird Al.



rcdailey
Dragoonfly
Premium
join:2005-03-29
Rialto, CA
reply to altermatt

I get those powerpoints and also videos all the time. I'm glad I have a reasonably fast connection, but it is annoying.
--
It is easier for a camel to put on a bikini than an old man to thread a needle.



jaykaykay
4 Ever Young
Premium,MVM
join:2000-04-13
USA
kudos:24
Reviews:
·Cox HSI
·Speakeasy

2 recommendations

reply to wat0114

said by wat0114:

I think it's just one of those things that doesn't "sink in" easily for most people; they see the To... or cc... as harmless, non-invasive to others' privacy. It's just one of the risks for those using email one has to accept, that their messages could be forwarded to others. It pays to read the messages over carefully before sending them just to make sure it can't get one into hot water. Still, it's difficult to keep email exchanges private between only intended recipients.

In this case, they didn't have to understand what they were doing. I've explained what to do and why to do it for too long a time. If it didn't sink in, so be it. I don't have concern to worry any more. And, btw., it's not too difficult to see the BCC and use it when it's right on every email one sends from a Cox account. It's right there, in your face. No looking for it at all.
--
JKK

Age is a very high price to pay for my maturity. If I can't stay young, I can at least stay immature!

»www.pbase.com/jaykaykay



pcdebb
RIP lil hurricane
Premium
join:2000-12-03
Brandon, FL
kudos:5
Reviews:
·Bright House
reply to jaykaykay

when my boss sends out a mass email to all the contractors, she never uses BCC. Everyone is in the To: line. one of the contractors turned rogue, and mass emailed everyone in the list alot of personal stuff about the boss, etc. You would think she would learn, but nope. I told her to mass everyone else, but take me out of the list and just email me alone.
--
| map your city |


graniterock

join:2003-03-14
London, ON
Reviews:
·WIND Mobile
·TekSavvy Cable
reply to jaykaykay

Most people have gotten annoying spam or viruses that appear to be from people they know. I've only asked people a handful of times to use BCC and remind them of viruses. Usually it's when I get copies of minutes or something and there's 100+ names in the to: or cc: field and I just send a friendly reminder and people always seem to get it -- we're talking groups of health and community professionals.

Maybe something like: "Hi... next time could you try and remember to BCC everyone instead of putting us into the To field. It helps to prevent those annoying spam and viruses that appear to come from people you know. Also saves 100 people from getting a "thanks for the minutes" reply that was only intended for you. Thanks!

With groups like small committees it's a neccessary evil to have say 7-10 people in the To: field. Although when I'm in charge I'll set up a list serv which occationally people have trouble wrapping their head around. Years ago on a busy weekend and I accidently triggered an anti-spam alarm at my ISP (rogers cable) on a committee of about 30 people. I BCC'd everyone but I sent out minutes, agenda and a few other things on a Saturday and got a "you exceeded 200 recpients in a 24 hour period warning. Don't do it again or we'll boot you" type of warning.



lordpuffer
RIP lil
Premium
join:2004-09-19
Rio Rancho, NM
kudos:1
Reviews:
·CableOne
reply to jaykaykay

I have only one friend left who continues to CC me with attachments no matter what I say. I just delete every email he sends me, for he himself has told me on many ocassion that his computer is full of viruses.
--
PR is back in town



altermatt
Premium
join:2004-01-22
White Plains, NY
Reviews:
·Verizon FiOS

1 recommendation

reply to Steve

said by Steve:

You gotta love a song that includes a reference to Bcc:

OMG---LOL. But now I have a dilemma---how the heck do I forward a link to this to all my friends? Kind of an oxymoron, yes?

BTW, no ad here.
--
The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it. -- Stanley Kubrick