Team Helix → Re: [Chat] I start tomorrow

Guys, still in the beginning time of my job, but I wanted to ask for you all to keep a candle going for me, and here is why:

Growing up, my mom used to call me an absent minded professor. I've been told I am reasonably bright, but I am also kind of dippy and quite slow on the uptake, and this job, which I will leave unnamed, is fast paced.

The last couple jobs I had didn't last long, and part of the problem was that I was VERY nervous (I am treated for anxiety) and because I don't learn things as fast as some other people. I take strong medicine that worsens the problem, though I have gone off most of it. Sometimes people mistake stupidity for just having a learning disability, which is my problem. I am slow on the uptake, I always was, but now as an old man on heavy medicine, it is worse. Sometimes I even resent myself.

I might not keep this new job, and sadly, as is the case with all of us, my survival is in the balance (my cost of living is going up a few hundred dollars).

I thought about even saying something because it is personal, but you are all good people and I actually need some prayer. I figure if I can survive the first month or so, I might have a chance to shine because other aspects of my personality might make up for things.

It might be pretty petty to ask for prayer and mojo when I am not facing cancer or something, but living with a disability is its own kind of hell. I know we all feel nervous with a new job, I keep trying to remember that, but even today a comment was made that has me concerned.

Also I am somewhat hard of hearing, and people get VERY irritated when you ask them to repeat things. People who aren't in my shoes might not understand.

I do lack confidence, but there IS a reason, something behind why. Nothing in life is easy, I know. I had a job once where I was expected to improve on work of another person who almost had his PhD.

And I am angry with myself, because when I was young I was easily annoyed with people that were slow like I am today.

I told my sister today: There are pills for all sorts of things, but no pill to make a person not slow on the uptake. I have a very large bunch of stuff I have to learn in a short time. Phew! I envy those of you who think on your feet well, you are really blessed. I don't envy good looks or special genius, but I do envy those that can learn quickly and remember details well. Those things are what we are born with.

I apologize for even bothering you all with this, but I am a little scared and seeing how in recent years I've fallen on my face a few times, well...

Prayers liberally going up.
Looking for patience from all, wisdom for you, and what ever else our mighty Lord feels will help

NOTE: You are not a bother. Its never too soon to ask. And ... I have great hopes and wishes of success - but am glad to hear the good, and the bad. As Helix family, nothing you do/say makes you any less than family.

you'll be in my prayers Mark.
imo, you have the potential to be a wonderful asset in the workplace. and you sure are an amazing asset here at TH

You're both so sweet and kind.

I chatted with Alain too and she gave me some advice, and talked to my BIL, who reminded me that there are things I offer that others don't.

It's funny, I've done some pretty complicated things in my life for a living, such as working with an optics bench with 30+ optical elements, but I am a slow learner. In college I had to study a lot harder than other students, I did all-nighters so many times it was inhuman.

My mind drifts when I read and catch myself after a paragraph or three and end up having to reread that paragraph several times before the words sing in my head.

Everybody has that problem, its just that for me, it is more so.

I think I have ADHD (a doctor that interviewed me says so) along with the other stuff, but my PDoc is adamant that I NOT take meds for that as they will aggravate my other issues.