 vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | Today's Funnies & Jokes Share your cartoons & jokes... |
|
 HiVoltPremium
join:2000-12-28
Toronto, ON
kudos:17
 ·TekSavvy Cable
 ·TekSavvy DSL
| 
WTF |
 |
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | reply to vue666
The Blind Cowboy The Blind Cowboy
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times. |
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
1 edit | reply to vue666
Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes Thank God You're a Man
|
|
 elwoodbluesElwood BluesPremium
join:2006-08-30
HarperLand | reply to HiVolt
Love to know what he hit, many good bikes these days have concave rims, so that a big hit like that won't ruin the rim. The flip side is the they are piss poor if you get caught in the streetcar tracks and go sideways with the rim in the track. |
|
HiVoltPremium
join:2000-12-28
Toronto, ON
kudos:17 Reviews:
·TekSavvy Cable
·TekSavvy DSL
| said by elwoodblues:Love to know what he hit, many good bikes these days have concave rims, so that a big hit like that won't ruin the rim. The flip side is the they are piss poor if you get caught in the streetcar tracks and go sideways with the rim in the track.
My guess he was hit by a sidewalk plow in the winter while locked up to that post. |
|
|
|
 ZZZZZZZPremium
join:2001-05-27
PARADISE
kudos:1
·Shaw
| reply to vue666
--
~~Get our troops home...now!!~~ |
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
1 edit | reply to vue666
Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man.”
“How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.”
Whats the difference between a Dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road. The dog has skid marks in front of him. |
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | reply to vue666
They've found a cure for mad cow disease.......a box of chocolates and a dozen roses. |
|
HiVoltPremium
join:2000-12-28
Toronto, ON
kudos:17 Reviews:
·TekSavvy Cable
·TekSavvy DSL
| said by vue666:They've found a cure for mad cow disease.......a box of chocolates and a dozen roses.
Nah, it's called a gun. |
|
ZZZZZZZPremium
join:2001-05-27
PARADISE
kudos:1 Reviews:
·Shaw
| reply to vue666
--
~~Get our troops home...now!!~~ |
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | Q. What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
A. With a vacuum, the dirtbag is on the inside!
|
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | reply to vue666
(funny-picture-speed-limit-enforced-by-aircraft-apache-attack-helicopter.jpg) |
|
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | Sometimes a sign is open to interpretation and not as advertised.... |
|
ZZZZZZZPremium
join:2001-05-27
PARADISE
kudos:1 Reviews:
·Shaw
| reply to vue666
»cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/044406···3e41dd5b
--
~~Get our troops home...now!!~~ |
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | Mount Rushmore, view from Canada....
|
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | reply to vue666
Golf Joke A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and a Newfoundlander were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Newfoundlander fumed, What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!
The Indian doctor chimed in, I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!
The Chinese businessman called out Move it, time is money.
The Catholic priest said, Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. Hello, George!, said the Catholic priest, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?
George, the greens keeper replied, Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
The Indian doctor said, Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.
The Chinese businessman replied, I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls.
The Newfoundlander said: "Why can't they play at night!!!!"
|
|
vue666I'm in the prime of my senilityPremium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS | reply to vue666
Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes Shelf sale.... |
|
