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urbanriot
Premium
join:2004-10-18
Canada
kudos:3
reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes

said by vue666:

Speed Limit Enforced By Aircraft....

haha that one made me LOL


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money can not buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.



Styvas
Go Canucks Go
Premium
join:2004-09-15
Hamilton, ON

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

said by vue666:

Q. What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

A. With a vacuum, the dirtbag is on the inside!


I heard it about a horse and a Mercedes. With the horse, the prick is on the outside.
--
"Moving your Tylenol to the low shelf in your medicine cabinet is not the way to prevent children from falling off a stool when reaching for the top shelf." (said by Savant, May 2008)


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

The Newfies and the Sears Catalogue

Two Newfoundlanders were looking at a Sears catalogue and admiring the models.

One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?'

The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful....and look at the price!'

The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.'
The second Newfie smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea!
Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I will get one too.'

Three weeks later, the one Newfie asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalogue?'
The second Newfie replies......

No, but it shouldn’t be long now.
I got her clothes yesterday



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Wonder Woman goes shopping in TO

Wonder Woman's Toronto shopping adventure....


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada

1 recommendation



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

1 recommendation

Guiness

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan
arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.

But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda.

There was an accident down at the Guiness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda.

"Please don't tell me..." "I must, Brenda.

Your husband Shamus is
dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it
happen, Tim?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guiness
Stout and drowned." Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim.Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, no Brenda... no." "No?" "Fact is, he got out three times to pee."



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes

One day a newfie goes to a carpenter and asks how much it would cost to build a wooden crate that is 1 inch tall, 1 inch wide, and 50 feet long.

When the carpenter asks what he needs it for, the newfie replies,

"The wife broke her clothesline the other day, and I have to send it to Toronto to get it fixed."



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

A newfie walks into a lumber yard and says,

"I's building an 'ouse bye' and needs me some a dat der too be far"

The clerks says "You mean 2 by 4?", the newfie says "Yes bye', dat's da stuff."

The clerks asks "Well how long do you need it?" The newfie responds "Well bye', I's buildin an 'ouse wit it so I's gonna need it for awhile."



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Click for full size
A couple of cartoons...


HiVolt
Premium
join:2000-12-28
Toronto, ON
kudos:21
Reviews:
·TekSavvy DSL
·TekSavvy Cable
reply to FiReSTaRT

Re: Wonder Woman goes shopping in TO

said by FiReSTaRT:


ROFL!!!


digitalfutur
Sees More Than Shown
Premium
join:2000-07-15
BurlingtonON
kudos:2

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes



digitalfutur
Sees More Than Shown
Premium
join:2000-07-15
BurlingtonON
kudos:2

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

...


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Click for full size
Some classic Dr Fun....


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Click for full size
FAQ Toon....


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

Newfie & the Hooker

A newfie is feeling quite horny so he heads to town to get himself a hooker.

Upon finding one he asks her "How much?". She replies "10 bucks". "Lord tunderin is that all?!?", quickly handing her the ten and proceeding to have his fun.

The next morning, awoke by an unbelivable itching in his underwear, he discovers he has crabs. Furious he heads back to where he found the prostitute.

Seeing her, he storms up and says "Ya stupid whore, ya gave me crabs!!! Without missing a beat the hooker looks back at him and shouts "Well whaddya want for 10 bucks, lobster????"



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Three Stupid Men

Paul Martin, Tom Mulcair, and Stephen Harper were all on a private jet together. Stephen Harper gets an idea. He says:"I'm gonna throw this $100 bill out the window, and make one Canadian really really happy."

Paul Martin doesn't want to be outdone, so he says:"I'll throw these two $50 bills out the window, and make two Canadians really really happy."

Tom Mulcair decides to go with the flow and says:"I'll throw these 100 loonies out the window, and make 100 Canadians really really happy."

At this point, the pilot comes through the door and says:"If you three don't shut the hell up right now, I'll throw all three of you out the window, and make 32 million Canadians really really happy."



ZZZZZZZ
Premium
join:2001-05-27
PARADISE
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes

Click for full size


milnoc

join:2001-03-05
H3B
kudos:2

That one made my day.



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Click for full size


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

1 recommendation



digitalfutur
Sees More Than Shown
Premium
join:2000-07-15
BurlingtonON
kudos:2
reply to vue666



digitalfutur
Sees More Than Shown
Premium
join:2000-07-15
BurlingtonON
kudos:2

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

.


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Click for full size


Jethro86

join:2005-05-27
Winchester, ON
Reviews:
·TekSavvy DSL
reply to vue666

Click for full size

Walter Dnes

join:2008-01-27
Thornhill, ON

2 recommendations

reply to vue666

A guy owes his life to Justin Bieber. Last year some guy was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car crash. One day the nurse came by and turned on the radio, and the station eventually started playing a Justin Bieber song. The guy woke up out of his coma, got out of bed, walked over to the radio, and turned it off.



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

Another new Illness to watch out for... Anal Glaucoma

Click for full size
Another new Illness to watch out for... Anal Glaucoma

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is

staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Brian Mulroney - Role Model

Click for full size


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Those were the Raes

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A little Bob Rae humour....