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vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to HiVolt

Re: Pam Anderson pumping gas...

A Newfie visiting Washington DC ventures into a bar...and informs the bartender he wants a "white Ovechkin..."

The barkeep replies... "never heard of it, what is a white Ovechkin?"

The Newfie replies "It's a white Russian with no ice and no cup..."



LOL


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him.

Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?"

"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help practicing my art!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I'm a lawyer. Do ya see me screwing the guy in front of me?"


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Click for full size
Click for full size
Click for full size
Click for full size
Some funny photos from the net....


ZZZZZZZ
Premium
join:2001-05-27
PARADISE
kudos:1

1 recommendation

hey ''Muttonheads''

Click for full size


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
LOL...good one...


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes

Click for full size
Click for full size
Click for full size
Click for full size
Some more funny photos from the net...


Kalford
Seems To Be An Rtfm Problem.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-03-20
Ontario
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Click for full size


smoke free

@videotron.ca

New Ontario by-laws
Future Ontario Smoking areas.


Thane_Bitter
Inquire within
Premium
join:2005-01-20
Today's phrase from a desk calendar
"I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping - Mark Twain"


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Click for full size
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Click for full size
Some more zanies from the web...


lowlevel

join:2008-02-27
Milton, ON
reply to HiVolt
Probably. When I was a kid, I used to ride a BMX bike around town with only the rear wheel...


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Is We Kin?

IS WE KIN?........

Two good Newfies in a St Johns' trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off of work at the local fish processing plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes



Thane_Bitter
Inquire within
Premium
join:2005-01-20
Has lots of torque, runs well even on one wheel.

JBear

join:2005-02-24
canada
reply to vue666

Re: Pam Anderson pumping gas...

said by vue666:

Not a joke but these photos of Pam Anderson pumping gas were posted on the Corvette Forum and many found them funny.... So I just had to share 'em with you blokes and lasses...

Wow, she can also make gas pumps pre-mature :P


BigSensFan
Premium
join:2003-07-16
Whitby, ON
kudos:1

1 recommendation



vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes

Another Newfie Joke....

Clyde the newfie died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for. Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Clem looked and Said "Nope, ain't Clyde."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Zeke to identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked down and said "No, it ain't Clyde." The mortician asked "How can you tell? Zeke said "Well, Clyde had two assholes." "What? He had two assholes?" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say "Here comes Clyde with them two assholes."


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Another Newfie Joke

A Newfie walks into a lumber yard and promptly says..."I's building an 'ouse bye' and needs me some a dat der too be far" The clerks says "You mean 2 by 4?", the Newfie says "Yes bye', dat's da stuff." The clerks asks "Well how long do you need it?" The Newfie responds "Well bye', I's buildin an 'ouse wit it so I's gonna need it for awhile."


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Ouch.....
LOL


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Phew!!

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back and he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket, to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator..."

Some old men can still think fast.Image removed by sender.

Expand your moderator at work


Kalford
Seems To Be An Rtfm Problem.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-03-20
Ontario
kudos:1
reply to vue666

Re: Today's Funnies & Jokes


:-)


Kardinal
Dei Gratia Regina
Premium,Mod
join:2001-02-04
N of 49th
Right foot on red = ouchie!


urbanriot
Premium
join:2004-10-18
Canada
kudos:3
reply to vue666
A lot of the images in this thread made me snort laugh.


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Click for full size
Click for full size
Click for full size
Click for full size
Some more funny photos...


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

************************************

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

************************************

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

************************************

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

************************************

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

This one and the next are our personal favorites!

************************************

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'


Rifleman
Premium
join:2004-02-09
p1a

1 recommendation

reply to vue666


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
A few funnies....


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
Definition of a wetback.... LOL


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
The Queen's Riddle

Obama met with the Queen of England.

He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of tea.. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.

Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, Biden ran in to Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Sarah Palin answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"

Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"

Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE!!!