Just to report back... some fabulous Telus Tech (who hangs out on this board) took pity on me and sent me an ALU.
Using a linux box connected to the outside (it's faster than going through my router w/ QOS):
Ping: 22 ms
Download: 25.29 Mbps
Upload: 2.58 Mbps
So at the very least the ALU can run the posted speeds.
I also have an Actiontec V1000h which I switched into bridge mode after entering the root password. (Found out that you can get it out of bridge mode by plugging a connected cable to the WAN port.)
But at the time, central had problems w/ my setup and hadn't fully switched it to 25 Mbps. When I finally got a 2nd (or 3rd) tier tech on the phone, I had my ALU plugged in so that's what it's running now for the last 4 days.
If I get bored one day, I'll plug in the Actiontec and see what speeds I get (and run it for a day to test stability).