I didn't think you could click on the bonfire or ashes if you didn't have the quest. they don't show up for me until I accept it. It's a daily quest so if you complete it, you can get it the next day.
I just click the bonefire, it takes a sec for the phasing to kick in.I port to SW.Fly to the gate.Click the bonefire.Receive the buffPort to the ValeFly to quest turn in???Profit.