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Jackorama

join:2008-05-23
Kingston, ON
reply to IamGimli

Re: [Serious] As Long As You're Getting An Education...

It's funny in a way that people think because one attends and completes the Partner Abuse Response Program that they are cured. Sometimes it works if the person really wants it too and sometimes it doesn't, but they still completed it.


IamGimli

join:2004-02-28
Canada
kudos:2

said by Jackorama:

It's funny in a way that people think because one attends and completes the Partner Abuse Response Program that they are cured. Sometimes it works if the person really wants it too and sometimes it doesn't, but they still completed it.

It's also funny how when people have no argument they make up false statements which they then proceed to counter.

The situation you describe is EXACTLY why the probation supervisor is given the authority to order other programs and treatment, which was already addressed in my response..

said by urbanriot:

... have you ever encountered a beaten woman? They almost always defend the man that beats them. I guarantee you if you watch an episode of cops that you'll probably see that scenario play out. Every cop has seen it. It's normal.

Oh yeah? Do they also almost always try to get their abusing spouse charged with imaginary offences, like this one did? Do they also almost always cooperate with the cops to get their spouse charged and convicted before going back to them?

I guess that's what you get for studying the deep psychology of spousal abuse an hour a week for 20 weeks a year on Saturday night from home. Did you get University credits for that?


urbanriot
Premium
join:2004-10-18
Canada
kudos:3

No, unfortunately they don't hand out university credits while experiencing real life, which usually comes after you spend all your time and money learning about theory.


graniterock

join:2003-03-14
London, ON
Reviews:
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said by urbanriot:

... have you ever encountered a beaten woman? They almost always defend the man that beats them. I guarantee you if you watch an episode of cops that you'll probably see that scenario play out. Every cop has seen it. It's normal.

said by urbanriot:

No, unfortunately they don't hand out university credits while experiencing real life, which usually comes after you spend all your time and money learning about theory.

1. Cops is an entertainment show. What you see was chosen for it's entertainment value not if it is typical. It certainly doesn't trump real life experience nor university credits.

2. Yes... some woman do defend and stay with their abusers. The reasons for this can be complex and are not straight forward. Some stay due to attachment reasons. Some have yet to accept they are in a cycle of violence. Some do so out of fear. (In the case of COPS: Are you going to talk poorly of a man who you think could kill you to a camera when he is 20 ft away?) Platitudes that woman just defend men aren't really helpful. Abusive relationships are certainly not "normal". They develop over time and progress in a way that isolates the victim.

How police approach domestic situations has changed over the last 20 or so years. The big change is that police do not require a victim to request charges nor allow them to waive charges. The abuser is arrested and charged and police request social service intervention with the victim. This helps to sort out the attachment issues faster, educate about the cycle of violence (yes it can happen to you) and to make a safety plan with realistic and safe options.