My first IM to Modem:
Okay... first power to create will be... Syrup Eradicator: You dissolve all of ekster's syrup with SCIENCE! (Don't ask how it works, dammit! I'm an scientist, not an explaineroraer--something like that!) The effect is that it makes ekster or any other Canadian (confirmed or wannabe), of your choosing, go crazy, blocking him from doing any actions for the night.
If approved, I want to give it to Archivis.
My second IM to Modem:
Alright, hrmmmm... Syrup Projectile Launcher: this device takes ekster's newly acquired syrup and re-purposes the tasty condiment into JUSTICE! You may only use Canada's favorite waffle coater for JUSTICE! once, as to use it repeatedly would be offensive. (In Layman's terms, you may vig shot someone).
If this passes, I would like to give it to ekster.
When I saw the flavor for how I died, I laughed myself silly. Bastard clown.
From Psychonauts -
Lungfish Civilian: (describing Goggalor) He's impervious to bullets! ... and love!