How can one get all the little circles caused by the aperture blades? Look at the edges of the posts that are blurred and the trees, I say it is not possible to do that. These are the things that make the bokeh wonderful in my opinion. If it were possible to do this with software the camera companies would not be selling very many fast lenses.
It's a plug-in that can be used with PS or PSP. It's very powerful and offers one click solutions with the ability to adjust the result as well as creating a detailed depth map. I believe it can do what you are looking for but I'm not proficient enough with it to duplicate the effect you linked to. -- Do Not Meddle In The Affairs of Dragons. . .for You Are Crunchy and Good With Ketchup!!