said by hm :Peoples wishes (the dead people) should come first. This is only respect, no?
Respect for what, exactly? You're dead. Gone. Expired. No longer part of this Earth. Maybe you're in heaven, maybe you're in eternal oblivion, but either way you won't care. The only thing that matters are the people left behind, their memories of you and how they want to celebrate your life and continue to remember you while they're still living. Telling them how they can mourn and remember you after you're gone is nothing more than attempting to maintain a certain self-centred arrogance from beyond the grave, and something I refuse to be a part of.
My wishes are quite simple - whatever my loved ones want. If they want to dissolve, flush me down the toilet and then use whatever money I may have left aside for something else, so be it. I'll be dead and gone and won't care, so my "wishes" are of little relevance. What they do is not for me to decide. It's for them. That's what respect is all about, not the other way around.