Lol... Looks like you need to build yourself a time machine, so that you can escape all these newfangled modern-day calamities and go back to the "good 'ol days" that you so strongly lament for .
He's right about one part. No more bubble lights. We had them when I was a kid and I managed to snag the last few made. I do have lights that are made to look like candles, but they could be converted to LED.I also like farolitos.