And anything below 80 ms you won't notice at all...
Really? I can certainly tell >30ms on SSH, Remote Desktop and most FPS. You're full of it. Source for your claim, please
Active use. And peering won't make one iota of difference. Ping can change anywhere between source and end point. Always has been that way on the internet and always will be. Further discussion, where you shared your opinion, here: »[BC] My games suck because of high ping, what can I do about it?
Ping being variable has nothing to do with it being noticeable or not.
To the OP: your friend is most likely on an ASDL line using interpolation which can add quite a bit to the ping. VDSL doesn't have this problem, and I remember some of the Telus techs here saying there are optional lower latency profiles for ADSL that they can switch you to.