A Toronto man drives all the way to Newfoundland and discovers that he got lost and drove 300 km's the wrong way once there, he spots a Newfie in a small fishing village and says to him "Excuse me, do you know what's the fastest way to get to St.Jonh's?".
The newfie says; "Yes sir indeed I can give you good advice, are you walking or driving there?"
The Torontonian says; "Well of course I'm driving there, what do you think?"
The newfie says; "Well Lord Jesus that's the fastest way to get there, why are you asking me stupid questions?".
I don't know if I should laugh or be afraid of that one. USA backed "revolutions" have resulted in many deaths and atrocities in Central America. -- Watch my future television channel's public test broadcast! »thecanadianpublic.com/live
Checked in with AC for a flight to London last week. Had 3 bags. Made a special request. I asked for one bag to be sent to Madrid, one to Glasgow and one to Oslo. The stern AC staffer behind the counter stated bluntly " We cannot do that sir". " Why not?" I replied. "you did it last time I flew to London."....
A cruise ship suffers an explosion in the engine room, and in the process, blows away the lifeboats. The ship is starting to take on water, and it looks like it'll go down before help can arrive.
One woman realizes what's happening and stands up at the front of the cabin and takes her clothes off. She yells... "I know I'm going to die. But I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there any man here who's man enough to make me feel like a woman?".
A lumbering 6-foot guy walks up to her. He takes his clothes off. He hands his clothes to the woman, and says... "Here, iron these for me".
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. The 1st floor sign on the door reads: Floor 1: These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The 1st first floor has wives that love sex. The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money. The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.