O Canada! → Canadian → Canadian Chat > Some jokes & funnies....

Re: Some jokes & funnies....

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN

ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS

SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS

TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY

CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M

GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS

THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE

BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN

ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO

EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY

SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M

GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD

HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST

THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL

HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,

AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES

BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND

ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT

ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, " FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO ".

Bump

After god created women he told her he would created trusting dependable men stretching every corner of the earth.

Then god made the world round.

I don't know if I should laugh or be afraid of that one. USA backed "revolutions" have resulted in many deaths and atrocities in Central America.
--
Watch my future television channel's public test broadcast!
»thecanadianpublic.com/live

I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head

...

but from a distance they looked like hares.... LOL

Re: Some jokes & funnies....

Women are angels, sent to Earth by God, so he can finally have some peace up there

Checked in with AC for a flight to London last week. Had 3 bags. Made a special request. I asked for one bag to be sent to Madrid, one to Glasgow and one to Oslo. The stern AC staffer behind the counter stated bluntly " We cannot do that sir". " Why not?" I replied. "you did it last time I flew to London."....

(Credit to ronny t)

»FunnyOrDie.com/m/7w3q

A cruise ship suffers an explosion in the engine room, and in the process, blows away the lifeboats. The ship is starting to take on water, and it looks like it'll go down before help can arrive.

One woman realizes what's happening and stands up at the front of the cabin and takes her clothes off. She yells... "I know I'm going to die. But I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there any man here who's man enough to make me feel like a woman?".

A lumbering 6-foot guy walks up to her. He takes his clothes off. He hands his clothes to the woman, and says... "Here, iron these for me".

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.

How do you say uh-oh in Korean?

I love Li'l Kim

how do we post an image here?

thx Fire..........got it!

Let's try..



Works.. remember it's img on one side and /img (slash) on the other side. Also remember to use the link to the image file (in Opera, there's a "copy image address" option) and not the link to the webpage that also contains the image.

I'm not heading to FunnyJunk's Web site under any circumstances. They blatantly and intentionally steal other people's content.

»theoatmeal.com/blog/funnyjunk

It's tax time and Ron Swanson has two very important reminders for us during this difficult time:

Discovered this over the weekend.