Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government of Canada has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Canadian Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. -- We hold cops to a higher standard because we give them a gun and a badge. Only trouble is we recruit them from the human race.
Reminds me of an exchange with some punk kid who purposely took up 4 parking spots at a reasonably busy lot. -That's a piss-poor parking job, dude -I don't want anyone scratching my car -Someone might scratch it on purpose -That's why I'm sitting here, next to the window [A rusty old pickup truck pulls out and gouges his car pretty badly, no chance to get the plates - look on his face after receiving some poetic justice - PRICELESS ] -- If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. —George Bernard Shaw
Whoever did deserves to get a solid punch in the face as it's not always the person's fault that parked that way.
I've been in situations where multiple cars in a row have all parked wrong because of one asshole down the way and the only free spot is the one in between other wrongly parked cars. Later on the situation naturally sorts itself out so it looks like the person that wasn't an asshole is the asshole.
I've been in situations where multiple cars in a row have all parked wrong because of one asshole down the way and the only free spot is the one in between other wrongly parked cars.
I've seen that happen and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, these spots offer a world of space so the minivan driver had no legit reason to park like that.
Also, it's latex paint on a glass surface - 15min to clean up with a scrubbing sponge and hot water. -- If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. —George Bernard Shaw
I've seen that happen and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, these spots offer a world of space so the minivan driver had no legit reason to park like that.
Also, it's latex paint on a glass surface - 15min to clean up with a scrubbing sponge and hot water.
You misunderstood the scenario I was conveying and vandalism, no matter how easy you believe it is to clean, still makes you an asshole... and a law breaker.
Park properly or park like an ass and it still doesn't matter.
I just nicely washed the truck up today before taking my wife over to the Walmart garden centre that was open today. Parked normally several spaces away from everyone else and I still came back to a 4 inch scuff mark and a dent in my door
You misunderstood the scenario I was conveying and vandalism, no matter how easy you believe it is to clean, still makes you an asshole... and a law breaker.
True... But I'll present 2 scenarios...
1) A person parks normally in their parking spot and gets their car vandalized. My reaction: Running out and taking pics of the offender and his licence plates
2) A person parks like a prick, smack in the middle of 4 parking spots in a crowded lot. My reaction: A good laugh, wouldn't feel too sorry for them if they got caught, though
As you've noticed, when I came across a situation where a person deliberately parked like a prick, I didn't vandalize his car behind his back. I told him to his face. -- If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. —George Bernard Shaw
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