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HiVolt
Premium
join:2000-12-28
Toronto, ON
kudos:21
Reviews:
·TekSavvy DSL
·TekSavvy Cable
reply to milnoc

Re: Some jokes & funnies....

»www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnydFmqHuVo


i nearly pissed myself on this one
--



milnoc

join:2001-03-05
H3B
kudos:2
Glad they didn't include a rabbit's eating habits!

»en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit#Die···g_habits


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Reviews:
·Velcom

1 recommendation

reply to vue666

No comment :D


Robrr

join:2008-04-19
Guelph, ON
reply to vue666

Re: Some jokes & funnies....



FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Evil


Thane_Bitter
Inquire within
Premium
join:2005-01-20
reply to FiReSTaRT
Haha! Awesome


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Expand your moderator at work


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Reviews:
·Velcom
reply to FiReSTaRT

Re: Some jokes & funnies....

Mildly entertaining but it's "Canadian"

»www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR5rIv4Qros


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
A little more Canadian courtesy


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada

markf

join:2008-01-24
Burlington, ON
kudos:1
Reviews:
·WIND Mobile
·ELECTRONICBOX
·Execulink Telecom
reply to FiReSTaRT
said by FiReSTaRT:

Mildly entertaining but it's "Canadian"

A Canadian mugging in California. Look at the plates when they're pulling into the driveway.


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Reviews:
·Velcom
said by markf:

A Canadian mugging in California. Look at the plates when they're pulling into the driveway.

Hence the quotation marks.. I'm betting those guys don't have much of a production budget


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada


Remember, guys and gals.. Check the mirrors before you pop one up


vue666
Small block Chevies rule
Premium
join:2007-12-07
Halifax, NS
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Q: How are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?

A: Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.


capdjq
Premium
join:2000-11-01
Vancouver

1 recommendation

Employee Notice For Old People ...

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government of Canada has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Canadian Government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
--
We hold cops to a higher standard because we give them a gun and a badge. Only trouble is we recruit them from the human race.



BigSensFan
Premium
join:2003-07-16
Whitby, ON
kudos:1
reply to vue666
Saw this yesterday
Expand your moderator at work


WhaleOilBee
What a long strange trip it's been

join:2011-08-02
Manotick, ON
Reviews:
·Acanac
reply to vue666

Re: Some jokes & funnies....


I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die…they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid…He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada

1 edit
On hold for Velcom... 5 hours and counting, will get b/w 5.5 and 6hrs.. A bit of understated humor on that topic..


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Reviews:
·Velcom
I lulzed


Reminds me of an exchange with some punk kid who purposely took up 4 parking spots at a reasonably busy lot.
-That's a piss-poor parking job, dude
-I don't want anyone scratching my car
-Someone might scratch it on purpose
-That's why I'm sitting here, next to the window
[A rusty old pickup truck pulls out and gouges his car pretty badly, no chance to get the plates - look on his face after receiving some poetic justice - PRICELESS ]
--
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
—George Bernard Shaw


urbanriot
Premium
join:2004-10-18
Canada
kudos:3
Reviews:
·Cogeco Cable
Whoever did deserves to get a solid punch in the face as it's not always the person's fault that parked that way.

I've been in situations where multiple cars in a row have all parked wrong because of one asshole down the way and the only free spot is the one in between other wrongly parked cars. Later on the situation naturally sorts itself out so it looks like the person that wasn't an asshole is the asshole.


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Reviews:
·Velcom
said by urbanriot:

I've been in situations where multiple cars in a row have all parked wrong because of one asshole down the way and the only free spot is the one in between other wrongly parked cars.

I've seen that happen and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, these spots offer a world of space so the minivan driver had no legit reason to park like that.

Also, it's latex paint on a glass surface - 15min to clean up with a scrubbing sponge and hot water.
--
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
—George Bernard Shaw


urbanriot
Premium
join:2004-10-18
Canada
kudos:3
Reviews:
·Cogeco Cable
said by FiReSTaRT:

I've seen that happen and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, these spots offer a world of space so the minivan driver had no legit reason to park like that.

Also, it's latex paint on a glass surface - 15min to clean up with a scrubbing sponge and hot water.

You misunderstood the scenario I was conveying and vandalism, no matter how easy you believe it is to clean, still makes you an asshole... and a law breaker.

Calvin and Hobbes, funny.
Vandalism... not funny.

Robrr

join:2008-04-19
Guelph, ON
reply to vue666
Park properly or park like an ass and it still doesn't matter.

I just nicely washed the truck up today before taking my wife over to the Walmart garden centre that was open today. Parked normally several spaces away from everyone else and I still came back to a 4 inch scuff mark and a dent in my door


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada
Reviews:
·Velcom
reply to urbanriot
said by urbanriot:

You misunderstood the scenario I was conveying and vandalism, no matter how easy you believe it is to clean, still makes you an asshole... and a law breaker.

True... But I'll present 2 scenarios...

1) A person parks normally in their parking spot and gets their car vandalized. My reaction: Running out and taking pics of the offender and his licence plates

2) A person parks like a prick, smack in the middle of 4 parking spots in a crowded lot. My reaction: A good laugh, wouldn't feel too sorry for them if they got caught, though

As you've noticed, when I came across a situation where a person deliberately parked like a prick, I didn't vandalize his car behind his back. I told him to his face.
--
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
—George Bernard Shaw

Robrr

join:2008-04-19
Guelph, ON
reply to vue666
The first half of this video is awesome. The second half not so much

»www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBlu2K0cPLA


Styvas
Go Canucks Go
Premium
join:2004-09-15
Hamilton, ON
The second half made me laugh, but it was admittedly juvenile.


FiReSTaRT
Premium
join:2010-02-26
Canada