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Don't Follow Me, I'M Lost Too
Wilmington, IL

4 recommendations

[Joke] Dog Definitions


DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the
white bedspread in the guest room or the newly
upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food
and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close
as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to
the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet
other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to
the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat
several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put
out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand
on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your
nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine
wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for
dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit,
you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run
alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and
falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
You don't quit playing 'cause you're OLD. You're old BECAUSE you quit playing!!