said by intok:
Hit her with the pan, then take a sand blaster to the pan to clean the contamination from the surface and start over on seasoning.
Alternately, you can apply the sand blaster directly to the family member and clean the "contamination" that way.
All kidding aside, I wish I knew what to tell you on that one (short of changing the locks whilst they are out of the house, of course). --
Male Announcer: "The red zone has always been for loading and unloading. There's never stopping in a white zone."
Female Announcer: "Don't tell me which zone is for stopping and which zone is for loading!"