Security → MS Windows 7 Updates? Which best option to choose for download/Install?

Hi - I have Windows Updates set in Win7 to automatically install updates.
But I am a bit scared that this option will perhaps cause an update to crash my system or to be not compatible with certain programs and applications. I heard many stories (on here too) that these security updates sometimes cause even a BSOD event.

My question is, which is the best option to choose from that drop down menu other than the recommended option which is to install updates automatically?

Should I choose Download automatically and choose when to install?
Or, Let me choose when to download and install?

And do these other options let me choose which type of updates to select?
Because what if an update is related to Exchange, SharePoint which I do not even use?
Can I filter those out?

Pls help -thx!

On the Update page I always uncheck "give me updates for other ms programs" or something like that.

I am set to allow me to select to download and install what updates I want.

Since day one with Windows 7 and now Windows 8, I have never had a problem with any updates.

Many problems I have seen posted over the years are from systems from dell and other companies because they may "tweak" their software.

The thing I do not let download and install are hardware/software drivers. That has caused untold problems because MS may give you old/outdated drivers. Within reason the only drivers that can be installed are for the video card and sometimes the nic if there is a problem only. All drivers should be gotten from the manufacture of your computer hardware.

I think on Win 7, if you search "update drivers" it will bring you to the correct page. I thing most manfactures have that disabled, but doesn't hurt to check .

Notify only.
Let me decide when to download, install.

(Whatever that particular wording may be.)

That's the way I do it.
Works for me.
But not for the reason you've mentioned.