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Icarus
CHAOS RULES
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join:2000-11-08
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Icarus

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[Fun] Jeff Foxworthy on New England

Forget Rednecks .... If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England . If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.

If Vacation means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England . If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England . If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in New England . If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England . If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in New England.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England . If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England .

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England . If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England . If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England . If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England .

If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England . If you think everyone else has a funny accent, you live in New England .

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your New England friends, you live or have lived in New England.

Dominokat
"Hi"
Premium Member
join:2002-08-06
Boothbay, ME

Dominokat

Premium Member

I get a lot of people asking me if I am from England. I seem to have more of an English accent rather then a Maine/New England one.

tschmidt
MVM
join:2000-11-12
Milford, NH
·Consolidated Com..
·Republic Wireless
·Hollis Hosting

tschmidt to Icarus

MVM

to Icarus
Surprised how many of those I recognize and I'm a transplant from Chicago.

One more: if your ancestors were not here prior to the revolutionary war you are just passing through.

I take issue with your definition of seasons, here in southern NH they are:

Winter, mud, black fly, too hot/humid, leaf peepers, then back to winter.

/tom

vaxvms
ferroequine fan
Premium Member
join:2005-03-01
Polar Park

vaxvms to Dominokat

Premium Member

to Dominokat

»www.youtube.com/watch?v= ··· 7gwrHNxI

You don't talk like this, Dkat?

Dominokat
"Hi"
Premium Member
join:2002-08-06
Boothbay, ME

Dominokat

Premium Member

Nope!

DrStrange
Technically feasible
Premium Member
join:2001-07-23
Bristol, CT

1 recommendation

DrStrange to tschmidt

Premium Member

to tschmidt
said by tschmidt:

One more: if your ancestors were not here prior to the revolutionary war you are just passing through.



Yep. My side of the family came over in 1634. Fought at Bunker Hill etc. Wife's side came over on the Mayflower. Fought at Lexington etc. They also sold boats to some guy named Guillaume in 1066.

Absolutely agree with speed limit observation as well. Public service notice to Southern and West Coast drivers: Posted speed limits in the New England states are a suggestion for how fast to go on a dark, rainy night if you're a brand-new driver who's never seen the road before. The rest of us will be going much, much faster. Please stay in the middle lane or one of the middle lanes [emergency flashers are strongly advised if you're going below about 65] so we're free to pass on the right or left as traffic permits.

CT sometimes has a couple of weeks of spring or fall between rice-in-your-saltshakers and calcium-chloride-on-your-driveway.