Thursday July 19th
(jump earlier)
When You're Gone
Ever so true. Its hard. Hard. But life is good without him. But I grieve. So much. My heart hurts. Please.....
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you |
posted Thursday July 19th, @02:26PM
Wednesday July 11th
(jump earlier later)
Local H.....Finally I have this song....
Born to be down
I've learned all my lessons before now
Born to be down
I think you'll get use to it
And you just don't get it
Keep it copasetic
And you learn to accept it
you know you're so pathetic
And you just don't get it
keep it copasetic
and you learn to accept it
you know you're so pathetic
And you don't
And you don't
And you don't
And you don't
Born to be down
I think that I said this before now
Born to be down
What good is confidence
And you just don't get it
Keep it copasetic
And you learn to accept it
You know you're so pathetic
And you just don't get it
Keep it copasetic
And you learn to accept it
You know you're so pathetic
And you don't
And you don't
And you don't
And you don't
And you just don't get it
Keep it copasetic
And you learn to accept it
You know you're so pathetic(x4)
And you don't(x9)
And you just don't get it
Keep it copasetic
And you learn to accept it
You know you're so pathetic(x4)
And you don't |
posted Wednesday July 11th, @12:57PM
Thursday July 5th
(jump earlier later)
Fort Minor........
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so
I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debatin
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
You know, the place where you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you
I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin and hatin' and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home |
posted Thursday July 5th, @03:20PM
Wednesday June 27th
(jump earlier later)
posted Wednesday June 27th, @12:58PM
Saturday June 23rd
(jump earlier later)
Its only been 4 months, the pain, the grief it hurts so bad.
It feels like he died on me; but the feelings rush in when something of him has reached me. My friends can really kick me in the ass when I tell them I miss him. I just miss what could of been. But I know there would have been nothing. Look forward not behind Tanya. My heart hurts. I hate feeling like this. I never felt so much emotions.
But truly I like the Tanya today. She deserves the best. But take the pain away......please. I'll be ok. Really.
Main Entry: 1so·ber
Pronunciation: 'sO-b&r
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): so·ber·er
2 : marked by sedate or gravely or earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor
6 :showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
Kelly Clarkson
Sober Lyrics
And I don’t know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing’s real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it’s never really over
And I don’t know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won’t worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Three months and I’m still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It’s never really over, no
Wake up
Three months and I’m still standing here
Three months and I’m getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it’s still harder now
Three months I’ve been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
Three months and I’m still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and I’m still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers |
posted Saturday June 23rd, @05:35PM
Monday June 18th
(jump earlier later)
Ajournd till July 9th....
Oh Please....give me a break.
Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never...
Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never!
Does it hurt
To know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks
To see my face everywhere
It was you
Who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew
Exactly what you would do
And don't say
You simply lost your way
They may believe you
But I never will
I never will
I never will
Never again |
posted Monday June 18th, @02:13PM
Saturday June 16th
(jump earlier later)
Sleep!
Who needs sleep? I'll just wait!
BUSY.....that is what I am. I need Mommy to herself time.
BTW....who are these kids and why are they calling me mommy?
That's such a chuckle. I like that.
I am coming Immuned to this stuff! |
|
posted Saturday June 16th, @12:20PM
Monday June 11th
(jump earlier later)
ONE WORD
WTF....okay maybe 3
All sums up last nites episode.
Move on over for The Movie |
|
posted Monday June 11th, @10:31AM
Sunday June 10th
(jump earlier later)
Lovely
My baby boy was baptized Catholic today. It was a lovely day.
Farewell my beloved Paulie and the Sopranos'.
This Is the End-My Friend | 
Good Day to Get Wacked | | |
|
posted Sunday June 10th, @07:07PM
Friday June 8th
(jump earlier later)
The View From Here
There's no more coming back this way
The path is overgrown and strewn with thorns
They've torn the life blood from your naked eyes
Cast aside to be forlorn...
Sarah McLachlan -The Path Of Thorns (Terms)-
Life can take a hold of you without your knowledge, so it seems. The blind fold that I have worn over my eyes. I looked away from what was right and looked into the eyes of detrimental evil and was blind-sighted.
"Joey" was a savage. Obviously from the distraction of my "beloved" journal entries, I was submissive to Joe and isolated from family, friends whom I cherished and he knew it. And being on the computer was a big NO, NO.
We have a child together, and that will be an obvious life-time bond. He has a restraining order and can not see me or the baby. Unfortunately, the baby was named after him. Out of respect. Joe has not have contact with us since February 14, 2007. From that day forth, my freedom was what I have received.
Grieving is apart of me and my healing process. Joe is dead to me. I no longer see him, even though it is hard not to call him, even after all the counseling, support groups. This is normal in an abnormal situation to feel this way. It will take time to get through this.
During this last 2 years almost, I have endured so much pain, shame, guilt from Joe. Emotional, verbally, and physically. I feel gypped out of the relationship that he promised and created for me to believe. He played on me. My buttons he knew how to press. I was naive, and trustworthy of him. I trusted him. Was I not suppose to? He was my husband. I never really knew him. I couldn't of. This saddens me.
He was the one with the problem and I have to learn not to blame it on me. Fixing him was not up to me but him. I need to fix me now and look after my children.
Some days are hard. The usual over-whelming, grief, anger, sadness and the loneliness.
Joe was the one with issues. I had mine. He played on that. The repercussions I am learning about.
Oh the stories I can share. But I on this note
Tears do come unexpectedly.
Karma
No regrets
No retaliation
Not Ready To Make Nice
Artist Dixie Chicks
Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting
I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and i'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it
I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting |
posted Friday June 8th, @10:21PM
Thursday May 31st
(jump earlier later)
This Sums Up my Last 2 Years
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Facedown Lyrics
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my head.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world bear a consequence
If you wait around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again,
heed my lecture.
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt she said, this doesn't hurt she said I finally had enough.
Face down in the dirt she said, this doesn't hurt she said I finally had enough.
(screaming)
One day she will tell you that she had enough
Its coming round again
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has found
Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has found
Face down in the dirt she said, this doesn't hurt she said I finally had enough
Facedown Music Video
None yet |
posted Thursday May 31st, @10:22AM
Friday May 25th
(jump earlier later)
Journals are Great!
I was just lurking around for a while now. Its been awhile. I thought I would write some more.
 |
posted Friday May 25th, @11:06AM
Friday December 9th
(jump earlier later)
15 min of Fame
I was on that tv show and boy was it fun. Tons of free hair products and hand soap and a lip liner thingy. They are so down to earth people. I had a great time with my girlfriend.
And yes, I was on tv spotted in the crowd numerous of times. I was wearing pink and the hair was down.
Toronto is a wonderful place to visit! They dress awesome!
Joey was working midnights. But this week coming he is on afternoons.
My car sucks! Never buying a Ford.
Kids are way to busy this weekend things to do and people to see. |
posted Friday December 9th, @03:11PM
Monday December 5th
(jump earlier later)
Its Been A While!!
Can't wait for this Wednesday!!!
I'll be attending Cityline TV Show up here is Canada. City Tv is the channel. I'll be in the audience. I finally got the tickets. I will be going with my girl-friend. Woot!
Joey likes his new job. He's really great with everything and I am so happy with him!
The cold weather is upon us and it is cold. I want my warm weather back. The kids are fine. Busy as usual this time of year. |
posted Monday December 5th, @09:31PM
Friday November 25th
(jump earlier later)
So Cold!!
Here up North this is what I have to put up with! YUK!
It will be great if it comes around for Christmas!
Let it Stop Snowing!! |
|
posted Friday November 25th, @10:04AM
Tuesday November 22nd
(jump earlier later)
Giggling the Sound of Laughter!
Joey is entertaining the kids in the kitchen as he is preparing dinner. Woot!! Its really nice that I don't have to cook.
Sunday was fun after our hike with the kids at DQ falls. Afterwards we played football at the end of the street at my house. The sun was in the way and then all of a sudden I got the football at the end of my nose and started bleeding all on my white jacket. Ekkkkk!
I have 2 days off.
Congratulations Joey on your new job!!
So maybe Season 2 on DVD will come in more frequently with him at work!!! |
posted Tuesday November 22nd, @04:56PM
Thursday November 17th
(jump earlier later)
AWOL!
Hey! You've been missing!!! I've had to buy the DVD to see how your life is going!!
Just got that IM'd and I never laughed so hard.
The weather has turned very cold, and Joey keeps my heart warm. I never have had such a wonderful time with someone who is so dear and really sweet to me. He is very kind and respectful to the kids and they seem to really enjoy his company also. Last nite before CC went to bed he made her a pink paper princess crown.
Six weeks has past and I could not be any happier. But life is so busy when you really want to spend time with the other person that means quite a bit to you.
Well I have to shower because I promised I will make cabbage rolls!! Woot!!
Till next time, and I hope I won't be so long to write.
TTFN |
posted Thursday November 17th, @07:13AM
Tuesday November 8th
(jump earlier later)
Yo Moe It's Your BIRTHDAY!!!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go shawty- ish yo birthday
we gon party like ish yo birthday!
Kool--
Today is my baby boy's 9th birthday! He had a swell of a day. I remember when it snowed the day he was born. We just had dinner here at home and birthday cake. And opened presents! A really nice quiet evening well spent. Nanni dropped off his presents before she went curling.
Happy Birthday Moe!!
Birthday! |
|
posted Tuesday November 8th, @07:45PM
Monday November 7th
(jump earlier later)
Pppppp Whooooooop!
I hate to be in the next toilet stall when she goes to take a #2 »(post #13143907 no longer exists). Can't wait for her 14 day travels to the jonny-on-the-spot..... LOL!
That's my entertainment for the day......
So any ways. I made a roast in the slow cooker for Joey last nite then we went to go see Jarhead at the movies at the Pen Centre in St. Catharines. Which was okay. They obviously made the trailers look way better. Saturday nite we went out after work. He wanted to go dancing and the casino then we went home because I had to work early in the morning. Just like today and tomorrow.
I kept my day shifts because tomorrow my baby boy will be 9 years old. Joey and I picked out his gift and cake. Nothing too extravagant because next year we will be doing the whole nine yards for his 10th. |
posted Monday November 7th, @06:59PM
Friday November 4th
(jump earlier later)
Angels Losing Sleep....
No pun intended but a very great song from Our Lady Peace from their new album.
Joey has been keeping me way busy. He is a sweetie. I can not express that enough. He came over with a pink gift bag with little silver hearts on it filled with stuff that I would like . He is so sweet.
I'm really happy. Living in the moment. I guess that is what we all have to do.
He got a "new" car so I got him a little Nascar congrats-on-your-new-car gift. I got him #3. The intimidater bumper sticker, car freshener mirror thingy and a little car keychain.
We have plans this weekend to go to the movies. I'll let him choose it. I think every guy choose get to pick the movie because I doubt they would sit through a girlie one.
I'm just having to go into the shower. Do laundry. Clean and vacuum floors. Then get to work.
Woot!!
Our Lady Peace
Looks like the Holy Ghost is gone
Now your afraid of yourself
Over your shoulder you have to watch
Heaven fall into hell
Looks like your boat's about to sink
So it's time to prepare
Even the angels are losing sleep
And the sidewalks are bare
It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone
It looks like the wall was in your head
Not your heart
Just when you think it's figured out
Well it all falls apart
It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone
Looks like the holy ghost is gone
Looks like the holy ghost is gone
Looks like the walls in your head
Looks like the wall was in your head
Was in your head
It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone |
posted Friday November 4th, @12:28PM
|
angelalways
