how-to block ads
|
|  | | | | | 
rusdi
American V
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR
clubs:
| I can't imagine! 
I guess, the closest I can empathise with is, I have an Uncle, I usta go fishing with as a boy, that has Alzheimer's disease.
He & his wife came to my moms funeral, a few years ago, and they rang the door, and I answered. Of course I recognised him, but he didn't know me. He introduced himself, and I told him who I was....he started crying.
What was worse, 'bout an hour later, he introduced himself to me again. I smiled and told him who I was.....again.
It must be horrible to watch a loved ones' mind fade, little by little.
One more reason to keep doin' what we are doin', my friends!!
--
F@H console client
Apply directly to the forehead! | |
| 
signmeuptoo
Folding and Crunching Not just Breakfast
Premium
join:2001-11-22
LOSTinSpace
clubs:
 ·Future Nine Corpor..
 ·AT&T Southeast
| Weepshep, my heart goes out to you, I really hurt for you. My own dad seems to be showing signs too, but we aren't certain, it's just certain little things. My dad was never an easy person to deal with, to say the least, so I dread this. I keep reminding myself that he brought me into the world so I owe him a lot for that.
Emotional things ARE very draining. Sometimes we, as humans, have to "disconnect" just a little so we can survive the stress of very unpleasant circumstances. Sure, it feels like doing so makes us bad people, but that isn't true, we just have to keep the pain in check.
I too suggest finding forums. I know that living in Kentucky means there won't be much of any help. I live right next door to you and Tennessee is disgustingly pitiful when it comes to government and social services, it is downright cold hearted here, survival of the fittest. But please don't give up. If you contact your region's mental health services and tell them your predicament they might offer you help of who knows what good kind.
The thing is that you do have to act now before things get tougher. The fear he is living with is painful for him. I have a relative with schizophrenia and the person refuses medicine and is institutionalized. It is agonizing because before its onset, the person was an amazing person. We have to make allowances and stay strong and the way to stay strong is to find all the support there is. Thank Heavens we live in a nation where there is at least some support. Sure, we'd be better off if we were Canadians, British, German, or French because they better provide health issues support, but we have the best technology and some of the best doctors in the world.
My wife and I will have your dad and you and your family in our prayers. Make sure you find some online forums and I'm sure you will find lots of advice and referrals there. Also, please consider joining our health forum here at DSLR! We'll all keep the mojo going your way!
--
You know your life has gotten "DICEY" when it turns into an episode of LOST, like my ex wife, who I swear is one of "The Others". Cancer and other diseases kill fellow members here at DSLR! Easy: Join us in Teams Helix and Discovery to save the world! | |
| 
delenn13
De gustibus nil disputandum
Premium,MVM
join:2006-03-02
Ridgeway, ON
clubs:
| I know I am a little late to the table on this but I really didn't want to ignore this post as it is important to me.
How do I deal with it? I am not sure I do. I live over 2,000 miles away from my mom. She has bone cancer and Alzheimer's. They have given her from 3 months to 3 years about 5 months ago. How is that for exact science? Everyone else always votes for the transporter from "Star Trek" as the article to first have. My wish is for the medical tricoder.
When I phone my stepfather always answers the phone and when I ask how is everyone doing, he says "We are just holding on." I think that is what I am doing too.
When I get off the phone, I am just drained. I never question her; I try to smooth things over. After answering the same question 10 times or agreeing about things I have no idea about, or having to remind her of things that happened in the past etc, it begins to wear on you. I go to my bedroom and just cry for a bit. Nothing else I can do and at least it makes me feel better.
I am also a member of a newsgroup for Kate Mulgrew who's mother just died of Alzheimer's. She is a spokesperson »www.totallykate.com/charity.html . You can also find local help here....»www.alz.org/.
But I find my friends here is what helps me cope. I know I am not alone. I know they are here and that they are going through or have gone through the same thing I am going through. They know about the pauses, hesitancy, the questions that repeat over and over in your head. We joke and play here a lot because it helps soften the real tragedy we are all facing. You have to make time for yourself.
When I first came to BBR, I was so excited they had a Seti Forum. I had heard so much about that and I am such a Sci Fi nerd, I could not wait to find about it. I also saw the other computing forums so I gave them a look over and I saw Helix and what they were doing . I was curious so I started lurking. I weighed the results ....find some IA that is probably avoiding us because we haven't quite grown up yet or find a cure for Alzheimer's Disease, Cancer, Huntington's Disease, Osteogenesis, Imperfecta, and Parkinson's Disease. Gee, what a decision.
I know I could run both but I rather use the power to get the WUs in faster. My WU might not be the one that cures all but it might be the one that directs the info to another WU that Sorta, Domi, Jo, Russ, Mousie, Santy or even Giz did that finds the cure. We all have to work together and keep those WUs folding. Glad to have you here so you can add your machine.
How do I deal with it? I don't really know.
But there is strength in numbers... And we have them here. This is my "holding on" place.
Welcome! My prayers are with you and your family.
--
"The heart does not recognize boundaries on a map, or wars, or political policies. The heart does as the heart does."
Ambassador Delenn
We CAN Cure Alzheimer's and Cancer. JOIN US HERE | |
| 
FCF_7im
join:2003-07-12
Fountain Hills, AZ
| It will be an emotional trainwreck even with the best help, but you won't ever regret it. Deal as best you can, but don't do it alone.
Establish a relationship with a doctor that specializes in senior medicine. Dad may or may not need meds now, but he will later, and getting in to a regular routine to see the Doc will make it easier to do so again, when Dad is less cooperative later.
Get a power of attorney setup sooner than later. Doing it later is *much* more troublesome. If you are the primary caregiver, you will eventually *need* it. Just having your name on the checking account won't be enough. You will need full signature authority at some later date.
At the same time, make sure Dad has a legal will on file, asap. It will protect you, Dad, and his properties, etc.
If your siblings are not going to help care for Dad on an equal basis, they have no business what-so-ever being on the checking account. If they complain, feel free to provide them with a copy of the monthly bank statement to "ease their concerns" whatever those concerns may be.
It's very easy to get sidetracked with the emotional and forget the practical. Get the practical stuff out of the way, i.e. be prepared. That way you can concentrate on caring for Dad, which is worrisome enough without having to deal with all that other stuff.
Good health to all. | |
| | | 
DownTheShore
Maddie Knows Poopie
Premium
join:2003-12-02
Beautiful NJ
clubs:
1 edit | I concur with getting the power of attorney, if he will allow it. Consult with a good elder care lawyer to make sure his assets are protected, so they can be used wisely for his needs. Talk to a doctor who specializes in geriatric medicine. Check online for caregivers' support groups for yourself. If he's got nearby neighbors whom you know, perhaps they can act as first alert team if they see he is having some problem.
In any family crisis situation, there always seem to be one child who shoulders the burden more than the others. It seems to be the way of things. 
I've had no direct experience with Alzheimer's (thank God) but my sister's mother-in-law's brother had it, and it got to the point where he was leaving the stove burners on, forgetting where he was, and also exhibiting paranoia about people coming after him. At that point, she had to put him into a nursing home just for safety's sake. But it was hard on the whole family to see that happen to him. He, too, was healthy otherwise.
--
Life is simply one damned thing after another. | |
| | | 
sashwa
Pixie Cat Crunchin' n Foldin'
Premium,Mod
join:2001-01-29
Alcatraz
clubs: | Re: Update [Serious] How do you deal with it? Prayers and mojo continue on their way to your dad and you. Stay strong.
Glad to hear that his surgery went well. | |
| |
delenn13
De gustibus nil disputandum
Premium,MVM
join:2006-03-02
Ridgeway, ON
clubs: | Continuing mojo and prayers for you and your family. Be strong. | |
| | | |
|
(Hey got to have a laugh to pick things up.)
·
) is as good or better than when I was 39. I work in a fairly responsible position and find that mental exercise helps to clear out the cobwebs.
·
·
·
