delenn13
De gustibus nil disputandum
Premium,MVM
join:2006-03-02
Ridgeway, ON
clubs: | reply to Weepshep
Re: [Serious] How do you deal with it?
Continuing mojo and prayers for you and your family. Be strong. |
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Santa Fe
I think therefore I Fold.
Premium,ExMod 2002-7
join:2000-08-22
Freight Yard
clubs:
 ·Mediacom
| reply to Weepshep
Be strong! You & your dad will need it! My mom's just reached the paranoidal stage now, but at least it's just seeing people we don't see, and thinking we have pets in the Apt, which they don't allow.
And rfhar  's correct. Be gentle, it's not their fault they are acting this way. Kinda hard for me sometimes, I tend to get hyper when I get excited. 
Remember, we're all here to help you in any way big or small we can.
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I'm Forever Folding For Team Helix |
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sashwa
Pixie Cat Crunchin' n Foldin'
Premium,Mod
join:2001-01-29
Alcatraz
clubs: | reply to Weepshep
Re: Update [Serious] How do you deal with it?
Prayers and mojo continue on their way to your dad and you. Stay strong.
Glad to hear that his surgery went well. |
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Weepshep
Premium
join:2007-10-01
Heidrick, KY
clubs:
| reply to Weepshep
Shalom All---
Sorry I haven't been online lately. Have been real busy with my dad, work and church but I figured an update would be possible.
My dad had a heart attack on the 19th of January and we have been in Lexington Ky. with him all week..
He had 100% blockage 75-80% in two of the main arteries of the heart and a unknown % in another valve....
Surgery went great and he is now off all IVs and everything.
Doctor said this my help clear up the short term memory and they did find some minor blockage in the arteries in his neck that may as well help with some of the dementia type symptoms. But they are going to wait for him to heal before they recheck them and see what can be done...
It is still to early to see if he has improved any with the Al timers symptoms or dementia because the heart surgery causes a 200% worse affect for a while is what the Doc told me and yes he was right. I have never seen dad this way for such long periods of time.. It took 6 nurses male and female to get him strapped in his bed the other night.
He will be 73 in March but they said he has the strength of a 20 year old...
What helped him do good with every thing is he was walking 2 miles a day then the next day he would do 4 miles and alternate back and forth..
Today he only had one fighting spell and is doing great..
Thanks for all the prayers the info and help.
Sorry this was long but tried to give back as much as given 
I will give updates later when possible.... |
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DownTheShore
Maddie Knows Poopie
Premium
join:2003-12-02
Beautiful NJ
clubs:
1 edit | reply to Weepshep
Re: [Serious] How do you deal with it?
I concur with getting the power of attorney, if he will allow it. Consult with a good elder care lawyer to make sure his assets are protected, so they can be used wisely for his needs. Talk to a doctor who specializes in geriatric medicine. Check online for caregivers' support groups for yourself. If he's got nearby neighbors whom you know, perhaps they can act as first alert team if they see he is having some problem.
In any family crisis situation, there always seem to be one child who shoulders the burden more than the others. It seems to be the way of things. 
I've had no direct experience with Alzheimer's (thank God) but my sister's mother-in-law's brother had it, and it got to the point where he was leaving the stove burners on, forgetting where he was, and also exhibiting paranoia about people coming after him. At that point, she had to put him into a nursing home just for safety's sake. But it was hard on the whole family to see that happen to him. He, too, was healthy otherwise.
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Life is simply one damned thing after another. |
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Weepshep
Premium
join:2007-10-01
Heidrick, KY
clubs:
| reply to Weepshep
Thanks All----
I am looking into all your advice.
Right now he is totally mad at me because I didn't return a phone call asap. You know calls at 9 in the morning and I don't get back in until late at night so he had time to simmer and imagine that I was ignoring him .
Thanks for the prayers and advice.
I will let you know what progress I have.
Have to get ready for Fellowship  I Love Shabbat
We will be praying for all here at Team Helix |
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lonnyb
lurking no longer
Premium
join:2004-01-25
Elizabethtown, KY
clubs:
·Comcast Formerly ..
| reply to Weepshep
First-of-all, you have my prayers.
Get lots of help from other people.
Let's say we were dealing with a family member who was blind. We wouldn't expect them to see and would have to constantly remind ourselves; oh, he or she can't see. When Alzheimer's is involved, it is like losing a large portion of the brain. So it takes a lot of patience to remember that the person's brain doesn't work the same any more. My mom had a severe stroke over three years ago and I have to remember that her brain is damaged and she can't help her two-year-old antics.
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I know when to fold 'em *ALL THE TIME!* »Team Helix |
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FCF_7im
join:2003-07-12
Fountain Hills, AZ
| reply to Weepshep
It will be an emotional trainwreck even with the best help, but you won't ever regret it. Deal as best you can, but don't do it alone.
Establish a relationship with a doctor that specializes in senior medicine. Dad may or may not need meds now, but he will later, and getting in to a regular routine to see the Doc will make it easier to do so again, when Dad is less cooperative later.
Get a power of attorney setup sooner than later. Doing it later is *much* more troublesome. If you are the primary caregiver, you will eventually *need* it. Just having your name on the checking account won't be enough. You will need full signature authority at some later date.
At the same time, make sure Dad has a legal will on file, asap. It will protect you, Dad, and his properties, etc.
If your siblings are not going to help care for Dad on an equal basis, they have no business what-so-ever being on the checking account. If they complain, feel free to provide them with a copy of the monthly bank statement to "ease their concerns" whatever those concerns may be.
It's very easy to get sidetracked with the emotional and forget the practical. Get the practical stuff out of the way, i.e. be prepared. That way you can concentrate on caring for Dad, which is worrisome enough without having to deal with all that other stuff.
Good health to all. |
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delenn13
De gustibus nil disputandum
Premium,MVM
join:2006-03-02
Ridgeway, ON
clubs:
| reply to Weepshep
I know I am a little late to the table on this but I really didn't want to ignore this post as it is important to me.
How do I deal with it? I am not sure I do. I live over 2,000 miles away from my mom. She has bone cancer and Alzheimer's. They have given her from 3 months to 3 years about 5 months ago. How is that for exact science? Everyone else always votes for the transporter from "Star Trek" as the article to first have. My wish is for the medical tricoder.
When I phone my stepfather always answers the phone and when I ask how is everyone doing, he says "We are just holding on." I think that is what I am doing too.
When I get off the phone, I am just drained. I never question her; I try to smooth things over. After answering the same question 10 times or agreeing about things I have no idea about, or having to remind her of things that happened in the past etc, it begins to wear on you. I go to my bedroom and just cry for a bit. Nothing else I can do and at least it makes me feel better.
I am also a member of a newsgroup for Kate Mulgrew who's mother just died of Alzheimer's. She is a spokesperson »www.totallykate.com/charity.html . You can also find local help here....»www.alz.org/.
But I find my friends here is what helps me cope. I know I am not alone. I know they are here and that they are going through or have gone through the same thing I am going through. They know about the pauses, hesitancy, the questions that repeat over and over in your head. We joke and play here a lot because it helps soften the real tragedy we are all facing. You have to make time for yourself.
When I first came to BBR, I was so excited they had a Seti Forum. I had heard so much about that and I am such a Sci Fi nerd, I could not wait to find about it. I also saw the other computing forums so I gave them a look over and I saw Helix and what they were doing . I was curious so I started lurking. I weighed the results ....find some IA that is probably avoiding us because we haven't quite grown up yet or find a cure for Alzheimer's Disease, Cancer, Huntington's Disease, Osteogenesis, Imperfecta, and Parkinson's Disease. Gee, what a decision.
I know I could run both but I rather use the power to get the WUs in faster. My WU might not be the one that cures all but it might be the one that directs the info to another WU that Sorta, Domi, Jo, Russ, Mousie, Santy or even Giz did that finds the cure. We all have to work together and keep those WUs folding. Glad to have you here so you can add your machine.
How do I deal with it? I don't really know.
But there is strength in numbers... And we have them here. This is my "holding on" place.
Welcome! My prayers are with you and your family.
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"The heart does not recognize boundaries on a map, or wars, or political policies. The heart does as the heart does."
Ambassador Delenn
We CAN Cure Alzheimer's and Cancer. JOIN US HERE |
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signmeuptoo
Folding and Crunching Not just Breakfast
Premium
join:2001-11-22
LOSTinSpace
clubs:
 ·Future Nine Corpor..
 ·AT&T Southeast
| reply to Weepshep
Weepshep, my heart goes out to you, I really hurt for you. My own dad seems to be showing signs too, but we aren't certain, it's just certain little things. My dad was never an easy person to deal with, to say the least, so I dread this. I keep reminding myself that he brought me into the world so I owe him a lot for that.
Emotional things ARE very draining. Sometimes we, as humans, have to "disconnect" just a little so we can survive the stress of very unpleasant circumstances. Sure, it feels like doing so makes us bad people, but that isn't true, we just have to keep the pain in check.
I too suggest finding forums. I know that living in Kentucky means there won't be much of any help. I live right next door to you and Tennessee is disgustingly pitiful when it comes to government and social services, it is downright cold hearted here, survival of the fittest. But please don't give up. If you contact your region's mental health services and tell them your predicament they might offer you help of who knows what good kind.
The thing is that you do have to act now before things get tougher. The fear he is living with is painful for him. I have a relative with schizophrenia and the person refuses medicine and is institutionalized. It is agonizing because before its onset, the person was an amazing person. We have to make allowances and stay strong and the way to stay strong is to find all the support there is. Thank Heavens we live in a nation where there is at least some support. Sure, we'd be better off if we were Canadians, British, German, or French because they better provide health issues support, but we have the best technology and some of the best doctors in the world.
My wife and I will have your dad and you and your family in our prayers. Make sure you find some online forums and I'm sure you will find lots of advice and referrals there. Also, please consider joining our health forum here at DSLR! We'll all keep the mojo going your way!
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You know your life has gotten "DICEY" when it turns into an episode of LOST, like my ex wife, who I swear is one of "The Others". Cancer and other diseases kill fellow members here at DSLR! Easy: Join us in Teams Helix and Discovery to save the world! |
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rusdi
American V
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-28
Flippin, AR
clubs:
| reply to Weepshep
I can't imagine! 
I guess, the closest I can empathise with is, I have an Uncle, I usta go fishing with as a boy, that has Alzheimer's disease.
He & his wife came to my moms funeral, a few years ago, and they rang the door, and I answered. Of course I recognised him, but he didn't know me. He introduced himself, and I told him who I was....he started crying.
What was worse, 'bout an hour later, he introduced himself to me again. I smiled and told him who I was.....again.
It must be horrible to watch a loved ones' mind fade, little by little.
One more reason to keep doin' what we are doin', my friends!!
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F@H console client
Apply directly to the forehead! |
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Vtblues
if you can't get out of it, get in to it
Premium
join:2006-05-29
Brookfield, VT
clubs:
 ·Verizon Wireless B..
 ·HughesNet Satellit..
| reply to Weepshep
You do it with help, my Mom has had Alzheimer's for quite a while now. She lives in her own home still but with care. I don't know what's available for support in KY but you need it. My Dad probably would have lost his mind with out support.
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HughesNet/HN700S/Pro Plus Plan/.74 dish/Galaxy 16 (099 °W)970.0 MHz/Win Vista Home premium/ CoreDuo 3.0 Gig/ 2 Gig of Ram
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dandelion
Premium,MVM
join:2003-04-29
Germantown, TN
clubs:
·Comcast
| reply to Weepshep
If at all, for any excuse you can get them to a doctor, Namenda combined with aricept prevents the paranoia and sleep disturbances of a lot of symptoms, and will keep at bay the others to follow (joining support forums specifically for Alzheimer's families is also helpful) »www.namenda.com/?WT.srch=1&Place···982585BE
»en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memantine
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Spare computer cycles can help find answers
Find A Cure!
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simplykristi
Cancer Sucks
Premium
join:2001-11-28
Metro KC
 ·AT&T U-Verse
·AT&T Yahoo
·Comcast
| reply to Weepshep
Get this book: The 36-Hour Day. It is basically a book for caregivers dealing with people who have Alzheimers or other forms of dementia.
Kristi
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My Photo Gallery: »www.simplykristi.smugmug.com/ |
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TwoFrogs
Cacology adumbrates pendemonium
Premium,MVM
join:2002-01-20
Hell Main Fl
clubs:
·Verizon FIOS
| reply to Weepshep
I cannot help you with your question concerning Alzheimer's because none of my immediate family members have lived long enough to suffer from age-onset dementia.
But regarding your concerns about yourself: my memory, both short-term and long-term, has never been the greatest, either. But my doctor does not believe that forgetting where I put my car keys, or forgetting that my daughter broke her arm, is a predictor of old-age dementia. Actually my memory at 60 (well, 61 later this week ) is as good or better than when I was 39. I work in a fairly responsible position and find that mental exercise helps to clear out the cobwebs.
One suggestion to get your dad in to the doctor. If he is not too suspicious of physicians, you might get him in under the pretext of getting a flu shot (if he's not had one already). A good doctor alerted ahead of time can turn the brief exam into something a little broader in scope.
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Your nebulochaotic effutiation verbigerates a farctate idiolalia. |
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rfhar
The World Sport, Played In Every Country
Premium
join:2001-03-26
Buicktown,Mi
clubs:
·Power-Net Internet..
1 edit | reply to Weepshep
We took care of my wifes dad for a while until he was disabled by a stroke. We had it rather easy as he did not get real bad until later.
Do not correct them agree, in a way, and pass it by as much as possible. It sounds like he needs to have some one around to watch over him. Alzheimer's victims tend to wander after while. They may go outdoors in February in their underwear. They may be doing something like sitting around a campfire they had in their teen years. Hopefully you get along with your siblings as he may need to be institutionalized sooner than you wish. If so it wise to see a lawyer soon as the government may end up owning everything he has.
I do not know how to get him to a doctor but it sounds like he should have already been there. There are meds that will help. |
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Weepshep
Premium
join:2007-10-01
Heidrick, KY
clubs:
1 edit | Update: »[Update] Update on dad and me
How do you deal with a family member that may have Alzheimer's?
As I just got off the phone with my 73 year old dad I feel drained. It seems as hard on the family as it is on them.
He has always been a little paranoid but now it is a constant thing with someone being in his house shooting laser beams in his house messing things up or someone stealing his stuff and later returning it just to be mean to him. Of course I know better and see what has happened.
I am there all the time fixing this finding that. Can't convince him other wise or have him see the doctor about it.
All I get is grief from my brother and sister for not adding them to his checking account or stupid things like that when I took over the bills for him.
He is in real good health other than that.
I guess too is I have bad memory lose to. Like at times my wife can be telling stories of when we was younger and I can't remember any thing about it. I can go for days after that and some memory of her story will pop in my head but no everything. My childhood is a blur. And I have been getting aggravated lately with my short term memory not being to good and just don't want to end up a burden on my family.
We are the Young couple in love that every one comes to and says I wish my marriage was like that.
Guess that is a perk.. Like being newlyweds when you can't remember being married that long (Hey got to have a laugh to pick things up.)
I am 39 been married 17 yrs she is 35 young bugger.
Two great Children girl 13 boy 12.
Any way just wanting to know what kind of personal experience any one may have with this and maybe it will help others like my self. |
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