Tzale
Proud Libertarian Conservative
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join:2004-01-06
Sweden
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| Why England Sucks
1. Mayonnaise. Of course, as any New Yorker would, I have to devote some space to England's bland, greasy and simply miserable cuisine. Trite, but necessary. Why every British food establishment coats their entire meno in the bland, tasteless dressing baffles me. Turkey tastes a lot better when it is not drenched in mayo and covered in plastic for five hours. Trust me.
2.The library. While obviously this is exclusive to Oxford and not the nation as a whole, the oh-so-wonderful Bodleian has caused me more grief than my tutorials (well, that's a slight exaggeration). First of all, as an associate student with visiting status, I can only go to the Bod between 5 and 10 p.m. Maybe I have restricted hours because I hold an American passport (see number 5), maybe not. Since I am one of the four college students who happens to be a morning person, adhering to this ridiculous schedule requires that I rearrange my study habits. In addition to my limited access, not being able to access to a photocopier (I know, I know, copyright laws) coupled with having to request books from this mysterious book stack turns another otherwise boring trip to the library into an irritating and boring experience in the bureaucratic Bod.
3.Everything is closed on Sunday. For the people who live in the real world (i.e. don't go to college) Sunday is a day to relax, spend time with the family, and depending on your religious affiliation, for worship. For many college students, however, it's time to run errands and cram before Monday or Tuesday's tutorial. However, neither of tasks are feasible when store windows are dark and the librarians also enjoy their day off. Ironically, the only life brewing along the streets is from the liquor stores and the pubs ...
4.Closing times. Everything closes around the time the sun sets, and for a country that is between 50 and 60 degrees North latitude, that's pretty damn early. I'm from New York, so I am accustomed to the 24-hour schedule of the city that never sleeps. While the pubs do remain open until a whopping 11pm, that's not too late considering on a Saturday night back home when my clock reads 11pm I am still contemplating which shoes to wear and if I need my warm coat. What are English people hanging out in pubs going to do on New Year's Eve - ring in the new year in their pyjamas?
5.Being treated like an American. I don't want to accuse all English people of acting rude or snotty toward Americans because some are very pleasant, but after seven weeks I've come to the conclusion that sometime in grade school English children are taught to equate 'stupid' with 'American.' Yes, we are arguably louder and more demanding, but that doesn't mean we're all ignorant. Interestingly enough, British radios blare American pop music, televisions broadcast American t.v. shows and the movies play American flicks. If we're so dumb, why do you cherish our popular culture? And one last thing: any country that manufactures the Spice Girls shouldn't throw stones at glass houses ...
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Neoconservatives (G.W.B) are not real conservatives. A conservative believes in defending the Constitution. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - RON PAUL 2008 »www.usconstitution.net/const.html
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Pjr
join:2005-12-11
UK
1 edit | You forgot to mention one other reason: the Daily Mail and it's readership  |
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA | reply to Tzale
I presume you do realize that you've just invited someone to start a thread entitled "Why New Yorkers Suck"?
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Regards,
Joseph V. Morris |
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Action_Man
Currently Appearing As
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join:2003-07-22
England
| reply to Tzale
said by Tzale  :I've come to the conclusion that sometime in grade school English children are taught to equate 'stupid' with 'American. Although quite untrue, you probably qualify with that statement, we treat people how we find them ...
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GeorgeCr
Funny it worked last time
Premium
join:2003-07-18
Sheffield,UK
clubs: 
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| reply to Tzale
1. I never have mayo. Food drenched in ketchup is more likely.
2. Why visit a library, when you can find everything online?
3. Most places open 10:30-16:30 on Sunday. I agree more time would be better.
4. Some pubs open later, it depends on their licensing hours. On New Year's Eve they apply for a licensing extension to open late. 
5. We export the Spice Girls to places like America. 
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nemo1966
join:2005-11-15
England
2 edits | reply to Tzale
said by Tzale :5.Being treated like an American. I don't want to accuse all English people of acting rude or snotty toward Americans because some are very pleasant, but after seven weeks I've come to the conclusion that sometime in grade school English children are taught to equate 'stupid' with 'American.' Yes, we are arguably louder and more demanding, but that doesn't mean we're all ignorant. Couple of points, Septics are stupid... they even had to dumb down the language so they could cope with it
Was that reply colourful colorful enough for you?
Interestingly enough, British radios blare American pop music, televisions broadcast American t.v. shows and the movies play American flicks. If we're so dumb, why do you cherish our popular culture? And one last thing: any country that manufactures the Spice Girls shouldn't throw stones at glass houses ...
Believe it or not most Britons hate the US television and a lot of US music (and American humour... give me a break), however like high taxes and immigration they are forced down our throats...
Sorry to burst your bubble
I presume you do realize that you've just invited someone to start a thread entitled "Why New Yorkers Suck"?
I suppose you "realise" "New Yorkers Suck" would be more accurate
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nemo1966
join:2005-11-15
England | Septics can't even drive manual cars |
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
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join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA
| said by nemo1966 :Septics can't even drive manual cars Ahhh!! Okay!!! So, I'm not a septic.
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Joseph V. Morris |
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PC Doc 54
aka fcapes
Premium
join:2000-10-28
Middle Island, NY
clubs:
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| You have to wonder about someone who comments on another country's language - "Septics are stupid... they even had to dumb down the language so they could cope with it" - and manages to get a spelling mistake in their own statement! Twice!! |
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA | Actually, who ... oh, it was nemo!!!
(Actually, I suspect that was a deliberate pun.)
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Regards,
Joseph V. Morris |
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nemo1966
join:2005-11-15
England
4 edits | reply to PC Doc 54
said by PC Doc 54 :You have to wonder about someone who comments on another country's language - "Septics are stupid... they even had to dumb down the language so they could cope with it" - and manages to get a spelling mistake in their own statement! Twice!! ??? lost me, what two spelling mistakes are there in that statement?
Edit:
I see you think I mean't "Sceptic".
"Septic Tank" Cockney Rhyming slang for "Yank".
Hence you are a "Septic" (A Yank - Yankee)
»en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Septic_tank - this reference gives a description of a real septic tank and the slang version. The real version comes quite close
I think you just proved my case 
Another Edit:
Carrying on from that, I would be classed as a "Listerine"... Listerine is an Anti-septic. Anti-septic = Anti-Yank.
Get it?
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PC Doc 54
aka fcapes
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Middle Island, NY
clubs:
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2 edits | said by nemo1966 :I think you just proved my case Well then it backfired ... I live in New York but I was born and raised in Berkshire mate ... sorry to disappoint you 
Now - even though I realize the futility of taking on a mind like Nemo's, I feel I must point out some of your obvious misunderstandings: Americans in general are far from stupid, a LOT of Brits do NOT hate American tv or American humor, (and I still catch British tv so please don't try to tell me Office, Extras, Mile High, Emmerdale Farm, Crossroads or Coronation Street are your idea of better quality tv), and most of us know how to drive what we call a stick shift vehicle. I've personally owned 3 since I got here, and my (US born) girlfriend still has 2 and won't drive anything else.
On the other hand, in response to the original post: Mayonnaise? I've never heard of using mayo on food in England, I've always associated that with US deli sandwiches. And please, stop with the generalization that English food sucks, that is so 1960's!
Yes a lot of stuff is closed on Sunday, what a wonderful concept ... a day when there's no pressure to run out shopping, spending money you don't have, being dragged through clothing stores by the wife ... ahhh, bliss!
And, having grown up there, I can say I was never taught to equate American with stupid. In fact if anything I always had the greatest respect for the US, and now that I visit England with an American accent, I am almost always treated with respect. Quite frankly, with the damage our current president has done to the image of America, that amazes me! |
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA
| Well, I told you it was deliberate, but Cockney Rhyming Slang -- haven't heard that mentioned in years!
Now - even though I realize the futility of taking on a mind like Nemo's, ... Recommend you edit the above phrase; possibly replace "taking on" with "contending with", just for starters. Otherwise, I'll have nightmares tonight.
I feel I must point out some of your obvious misunderstandings: Americans in general are far from stupid, a LOT of Brits do NOT hate American tv or American humor, (and I still catch British tv so please don't try to tell me Office, Extras, Mile High, Emmerdale Farm, Crossroads or Coronation Street are your idea of better quality tv), and most of us know how to drive what we call a stick shift vehicle. I've personally owned 3 since I got here, and my (US born) girlfriend still has 2 and won't drive anything else. Indeed, I've owned seven cars in the US, only two had automatic transmissions. After trying three different rental cars with automatic transmissions on English country roads, it was a no-brainer to buy a manual transmission car for use over there, also.
On the other hand, in response to the original post: Mayonnaise? I've never heard of using mayo on food in England, I've always associated that with US deli sandwiches. And please, stop with the generalization that English food sucks, that is so 1960's! Mayo? Nor have I. (Maybe Tzale eats exclusively at motorway rest stops, MacDonalds, Burger King, and Pizza Hut?) Or maybe he's thinking of Kraft salad cream? (Something I don't particularly care for myself.) And, like you, I have no problem with standard English fare. It's a pity, however, how difficult it can be to find good Szechuan Chinese over there.
Yes a lot of stuff is closed on Sunday, what a wonderful concept ... a day when there's no pressure to run out shopping, spending money you don't have, being dragged through clothing stores by the wife ... ahhh, bliss! As an American, that was a bit unusual at first, but I've become accustomed to it. And, like you, I've come to the conclusion, it's got it's good points. (The real problem is when Christmas and Boxing Day fall on a weekend! )
And, having grown up there, I can say I was never taught to equate American with stupid. In fact if anything I always had the greatest respect for the US, and now that I visit England with an American accent, I am almost always treated with respect. Quite frankly, with the damage our current president has done to the image of America, that amazes me! And, going the other direction (from US to UK), my experiences are more like yours than Tzale's. I think it's fairly obvious that I'm an American (but oddly a lot of Englishman assume I'm Canadian).
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Regards,
Joseph V. Morris |
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nemo1966
join:2005-11-15
England
| reply to PC Doc 54
WTF you claim to be born and raised in Britain but you didn't know what a "Septic" was????????????
BTW Yanks are thick, you may have been born in England you you have obviously gone down a lot since then... hence trying to correct my spelling etc when you actually know little of what you are trying to correct - a typical Yank trait
What next? well I suggest try shouting or bullying, that always comes next when Yanks can't get their own way
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
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join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA | Noooo, nemo . . A Colt 45 Automatic comes next.
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Regards,
Joseph V. Morris |
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PC Doc 54
aka fcapes
Premium
join:2000-10-28
Middle Island, NY
clubs:
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| Actually no, the good old ignore button is what came next ... ahh, bliss, no more nimrod.
I know I should have avoided getting involved in a debate with the idiot, but it just pisses me off when I see stupid, ignorant, bigoted crap like that being spewed.
Sadly now the thread will probably disappear ... it would be nice if we could have had a genuine discussion on the subject without someone crapping all over it. |
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
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join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA
1 edit | Elf and Safely
Well, seriously, we could always start with elf and safely.
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Regards,
Joseph V. Morris |
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wonko3fc
Verbum sat sapienti
join:2001-06-02
UK
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| Does England Really Suck more than America?
Not to deviate to far of thread but I quite like having automatic transmission. Indeed, having spent what feels like a lifetime on and off the clutch in the daily commute, my personal bliss moment came when the manual transmission was replaced with an automatic one - I tell ya, there is no going back now.... |
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jvmorris
I Am The Man Who Was Not There.
Premium,MVM
join:2001-04-03
Reston, VA
| Oh, thanks for changing the header on your reply. I just went back and changed it on mine to "Elf and Safely".
But you ended up talking about auto vs manual transmissions!
At any rate, I'd much rather have a manual transmission in London traffic, if only for the better gas mileage. (And it does wonders to keep the muscles in the left leg in shape. ). But, outside of London, I spend very little time in city traffic. But on the country roads out in Shropshire, I'd much rather have a manual transmission (and the four-wheel drive) when I end up on a super-saturated shoulder (or even worse a ditch) so that a tractor (and you do indeed have huge farm tractors over there) needs to get past me. (I'm talking oncoming traffic here, guys.) And ditto for those nasty little situations in which you encounter icy patches on the hilly country roads in the wintertime.
As for your new header, I would have to say that there are things about England that I really like that I cannot find in the US and vice versa. And, conversely, there are things about England that I dislike and things about America that I really dislike, but -- for the most part -- these are distinct lists. (Perhaps we could have a lively discussion on whether Tony sucked more than Dubya? )
Quite frankly, this is one reason why I'd prefer to spend summer and winter in the UK (much milder in both instances than here in Virginia). And Christmas in England has Christmas in the US beat, hands down. Still, I like to spend spring and (especially) autumn in the US (we get better autumn foliage colors).
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Regards,
Joseph V. Morris |
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wonko3fc
Verbum sat sapienti
join:2001-06-02
UK
·BT Broadband
| said by jvmorris : (Perhaps we could have a lively discussion on whether Tony sucked more than Dubya? )
OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo YUK!
To much information!
That's a mental image I'm gonna have to try to purge now... Thanks JV! |
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