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Dear Frank/Gordon:

I was met with mixed emotions when I first opened up the Metro Toronto newspaper today and found out that the two most popular beavers in Canada were announcing their early retirement.

First off I was relieved - because over the years I had gotten entirely sick of all the advertisements that you guys were present in. It was probably a appealing method for small children and adults who are still children at heart, but I personally got sick of it after the first year or so.

Secondly I was admittedly somewhat sad that you two are no longer going to be the flagship advertising method for Bell (everyone's favorite company). You see over the years I have been accustomed to you guys and my mind has basically filtered your beaver bodies and just listened to your message (if it was any kind of good deal). Who knows what other kind of crazy animal will become the new Bell mascot, perhaps a pussycat?

Another issue I wish to discuss with you two is regarding the dam you manage in the woods.

My main problem regarding the dam is the way it affects the river in which the dam is located. Why do you insist on artificially blocking the speed at which the river can run at? You 'speedblock' only certain types of h2o atoms, the ones you assume to only be bad for the environment. When in reality only a small amount of them are bad, and it doesn't have a significant impact on the river as a whole. Your main argument seems to be that the entire river will slow down if you don't have these self imposed 'blocks' but this has been proven to be 100% false, backed up by your own statistics.

Also please stop limiting the amount of water that can go into said river, its ridculous when you look at the upcoming supposed 10 mbps and 16mbs upgrades to the river speed that you say the river is running over capacity...And if you absolutely must continue to limit the amount, please please please - do not limit the speed of the ENTIRE dam, just yours. This way the other, smaller dams can provide similar services with slighty better advantage and some disadvantages to using your own dam. We can have the semi illusion of competition, when its all really one big god dam dam and lots of little fish.

P.S. I would appreciate a signed photo from Frank and Gordon (he's my favourite) made out to Rohan

Yours truly,

Rohanster

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