Thursday May 29th
(jump earlier)
So what's new?
Even though this journal has gone six months without an update, it doesn't mean that there hasn't been anything new.
My site, so far, has been pretty successful. I get at least a million hits a month now. I've got a few hundred register forum users. Many lurkers, and some posters as well. All my funny logs are in my AIM logs section. Nobody's left there without a laugh.
I'm going to post more dslreports related humor since it doesn't seem to be related to my site. I always have run-ins with people, so it's only natural that I just post more here. |
posted Thursday May 29th, @09:59AM
Wednesday May 28th
(jump earlier later)
Back from the Dead
Yes, my journal is back from the dead. Now with new muffiny goodness after an extreme lapse in posting. Now I can make fun of everyone again and nobody can flame me back! |
posted Wednesday May 28th, @12:40PM
Monday November 11th
(jump earlier later)
Living up to my word
Just thought I'd drop another line in here. It's been all too long since I posted. Probably since I've got my own means of venting now.
As promised, I did setup my website. »www.theinternethitman.com
As promised, it IS killer, and now it is snazzy.
I even have a forums section up. oWn3d and I run it now. Thanks to xdcmp and Sharondippity for their help. They helped make the site what it is now.
Be sure to check out the latest AIM logs as I still update them and register in the forums. It's pretty cool |
posted Monday November 11th, @04:42PM
Friday September 27th
(jump earlier later)
My very own web site
Oh yes, I've started up my very own web site. The world has kept me bound in a cage. Bound by rules of political correctness and appropriate language. I can not abstain anymore. While still in development, I'll be placing up some of the best controversial material.
Check it out at www.TheInternetHitman.com
Nothing snazzy up at the moment, but check back from time to time. The site will give you an idea of whats to come. I've gotten a few talented people to help add to the site. The one that you all my be familiar with is oWn3d. I'm looking to have seven of us total so if you're interested, email me at archivis@theinternethitman.com and send me a log or two or three on how you exploit idiots. If I think you're good and I like your style then perhaps I can add you to the site. Otherwise just check up on it. The site is gonna be killer. |
posted Friday September 27th, @06:32PM
Tuesday September 24th
(jump earlier later)
Formal Apology
Alright, I'd like to make an apology to justin. Not because he's the site host and I'm kissing his ass, but because it was a well deserved apology and a large mistake on my behalf.
when my last post was deleted, justin had gone ahead and IM'd me. I've been an IM whore lately (a good 50-100+ IM's daily) and skipped it. I went to IM him to ask him why my post was deleted and only then upon seeing the history I had noticed that he already told me that posting IM's were illegal.
So I'd like to apologize for my rude comments about moderators unexplaining themselves and hiding behind anonymity. While this has been the case in the past, it was not so this time and my comments were inappropriate.
On a positive note, I'm glad that justin reads my journal. I am honored that he's an actual fan of my material. Deep down inside I know he gets a chuckle out of some of these, but hell would freeze over before he admitted it.
Oh well. I am not just a man of ruthless insults. That is a misconception amongst many. I am a fair man, of common sense. Being fair does not always mean being nice... I've already prooved by my posts from day 1 that common sense isn't so common. |
posted Tuesday September 24th, @08:48PM
(jump earlier later)
Alright, let's try this again.
Well, as you can see, a moderator has permanently scarred my journal with this waste of space blank spot. I was not notified about this until a member said "it's not there". That's fine, it's not their job to say why or even come out of the protection of anonymity. Just dismiss and move on. Someone had told me, however, that posting IM's is against the rules. So I will go ahead and strip the IM's out that I received and just generalize the conversation instead. So, here goes with the original post... edited, of course.
____________
Alright alright. It's been a while since I updated the journal. Quite honestly I don't think I've had anything journal worthy... until now. Here's an incident that happened just recently and I wanted to share it with my fans. I'll have to quote what happened since I can not directly link to the incident.
Subject: Read The Fine Print On Adult Sites
said by ArchAngel21x:
I was just charged something on my credit card I did not recognize. Pissed me off because it made me go over my limit. After a phone call to the company they explained that even though I signed up for the basic membership, charged once per year, I was also signed up for a trial period to their "platinum" membership which I was charged for because I did not cancel that within 7 days. However the company said they would refund that, and after calling the credit card company my over the limit charge was dropped. I was lucky. As I said before, READ THE FINE PRINT. Thanks for listening.
said by me:
My parents ordered something online about 2 years ago. The database from that web site held that CC# even though they never ordered anything since. That database got hacked and card numbers were leaked and it was used to order some porno. The CC company had a lot of recent incidents with card #'s from that one web site.
The adult company had no problems in refunding the amount. They made the comment that fraudulent use of credit cards happen very frequently at their site.
But I suppose thats a separate story. Archangel just ain't gettin none. Mary Palmer is his best friend.
You can skip that crap until you get to the last paragraph. That's the important info.
said by ArchAngel21x:
Thanks for the interesting story, but dude, that last comment was not cool. 
Of course, the comment of dissatisfaction and the constipation face. I've yet to discover what constipation has to do with this. Then again, I really don't want to know.
said by me again:
The truth hurts, slapnuts!
oh well. short and sweet
About 10 minutes later....
said by The Sexy Moderator:
This thread is locked.
===================================
--Requested by thread starter.
Hah, I think the slapnuts put him over the edge. I felt that this was unfinished business. The feelings were still there. I felt that I had to clarify my comments made earlier.
I sent him a message stating this,
"lol what the hell did you expect when you post about ordering porno on the site.
#1, you look like a dork talking about porno
#2, you look like a dork for paying for porno "
I can't paste the rest of the conversation that went on between us, but it wasn't all that interesting so you're not missing out.
Perhaps I was right all along and he had not accepted the facts that I presented in my message and in the threads about himself. I think I exposed one of the skeletons in the closet. Maybe tomorrow, once he gets past his denial stage, he'll apologize to me for his harsh and abrupt dismissals of my comments and come to his senses.
I think I made an enemy today, and he made a new friend. |
posted Tuesday September 24th, @07:57PM
(jump earlier later)
msg deleted
deleted by a moderator |
posted Tuesday September 24th, @06:06PM
Monday September 9th
(jump earlier later)
Common Sense ain't so common
said by "zakooldude":
I was trying to get my sister's new hamster out of its cage earlier and it sprung up 6 inches (it is only a 2" creature) and bit me on the finger with its razor teeth!! OUCH!!
I told my mom and she comes to get it out of the cage, and it bit her 5 times consecutively!! Each time drawing blood on each of us. All this after she was bit this morning to begin with...
That little bastard is going back to the store ASAP.
said by Archivis:
LOL what are you going to say?
"Your hamster is defective, your 30 day warantee covers this and I want a new one."
Get real man. And I dunno about your mom, but I would have learned after the first time... maybe the second time (giving him the benefit of the doubt).
"Alright... I had my doubts about the last four times you bit me, but this fifth time only confirms that you're just being plain mean. Damn defective hamster!"
Oh golly.
said by zakooldude:
I came thisclose to flushing it down the toilet. Or strangling it. But if i had done either, I would have risked getting bitten again. This sucks.
How the hell do you strangle something with no neck? Do you just take your two pinkies and press firmly under the mouth? Wouldn't that just cause more biting?
WHERE'S THE COMMON SENSE?!?!
Here's the classic one. "It hurts when I poke my eye"
Do I need to even provide a response for that one? Is this the same response to give to zak and especially his mother?
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? | Project Archivisation |
posted Monday September 9th, @07:01PM
Monday September 2nd
(jump earlier later)
My wife joins BBR today
Well, I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but you all may end up harassing her now. I know you people. You're all evil. Every last one of you. My wife finally took an interest in this site. Her name is Antonica. Feel free to harass her anyways.
Oh and check out this sexy avatar.... mmm baby
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If I don't make fun of you, who will? | Project Archivisation |
posted Monday September 2nd, @08:28PM
Sunday September 1st
(jump earlier later)
How to get into the Advanced Security Forum
Well, I griped about the Security forum not having much good material. Lately its been a little better but is still quite frustrating. I decided to see what was up with the security forum. It didn't let me in.
This was my first attempt. As you can see below, it's not as simple as that.
I gave one more attempt. This time I used intimidating measures. Threats are always a good start whenever you don't get what you want.
Well, I waited a few hours to see how he liked that one. As you can see, he finally caved in.
As you can see, these white hat security experts are no match for my brute force methods. He's lucky that I didn't have to whip out my trojan and start probing for backdoors. I could leave some deadly virii.
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If I don't make fun of you, who will? | Project Archivisation |
posted Sunday September 1st, @03:54PM
Friday August 30th
(jump earlier later)
A plug in my own journal for my own stuff
Well I'm trying to setup a dslreports/broadbandreports RPG. There are other clubs like a DSLR clan and such, so I thought I'd get a plug here for some more exposure.
I currently have 2 people who volunteered to be programmers. I need 1-2 more.
I posted here about it. If you're a programming and know C++ and you're intersted, post there.
I will also be looking to add some ascii graphics members, builders, help file writers, etc. I can't train people to become programmers but I can train anyone to do any of the other items. If you're intersted in programming, post in that thread above. If you're interested in doing anything else, even if you're unsure how, send me a private message.
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? | Project Archivisation |
posted Friday August 30th, @04:22PM
Thursday August 29th
(jump earlier later)
Archivis City... down the tubes
Well it looks like the wrong people caught on to my idea of creating my own forum and shut it down completely and erased all my wonderful work. Thanks to everyone for their support. I still continue Project Archivisation. If I can find the right deal, I just may start up my own web site with all sorts of goodies.
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? | Project Archivisation |
posted Thursday August 29th, @07:26PM
Monday August 26th
(jump earlier later)
Fanatical Explosion
Since the last two entries regarding me dominating a forum and Archivisating several moderators, several members have expressed to me their support.
Because of this, I think it is time to launch my BBR political campaign. With the help of the graphical experts here, everyone who wants to show their support should update their avatar to include archivisation. Even if its to only show a slight glimpse of something in rememberance of my avatar (sort of subtleness of the blinking in mine), it would be great to show your support.
All my fans, show your silent support, and become archivised.
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? |
posted Monday August 26th, @06:58PM
(jump earlier later)
posted Monday August 26th, @02:55PM
Sunday August 25th
(jump earlier later)
Archivis Fever!!!
YES THATS RIGHT BABY! Everyone got's Archivis fever like the West Nile virus. Hell yes! It looks like the mods (even justin!) are catching it. If you want to fit in, you better follow suit. Oh my, they better get a vaccine soon.
daneoz
FastEddie
fatness
justin
Kevin
mattmag
mr sean
SkipDawg
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? |
posted Sunday August 25th, @10:44PM
(jump earlier later)
Guys, I need some help!
Alright guys. I need some support. I need everyone to help vote for me. There's one of those really dead forums that I'm trying to get renamed to "Archivis City".
Everyone please go here and show your support. Maybe justin can rename it just for a day.
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? |
posted Sunday August 25th, @08:36PM
(jump earlier later)
Parody: mellisact
A new journal. Maybe it's just me, but if you're going to write a private journal, write whatever you want, and don't think about your audience. If you're going to write a public journal, spice it up a bit. You're not the only one reading it.
This format is a little different then my previous parodies. So here ya go.
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will?
[text was edited by author 2002-08-25 14:45:00] |
posted Sunday August 25th, @02:41PM
Wednesday August 21st
(jump earlier later)
Parody: oWn3d
Another popular journal. *cackle*
--------
Catchy Title: Comedy Gold... after I busted your teeth out and melted the fillings and made my bizatch a necklace.
Quote:
[13:08] *** Joins: NeoGeo64 (~trizzo@00-10077CF4.aby.bellsouth.net) [17 users]
[13:08] <oWn3d> Yo
[13:08] <NeoGeo64> WHAZZZZUP
[13:09] <@oWn3d> WHAZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!! :P :P :P
[13:09] *** oWn3d sets mode: +v NeoGeo64
[13:09] <+NeoGeo64> Yo, pick up da fone
[13:09] <@Archivis> WHASSSSSSSSSSSAP!!!
[13:09] <+NeoGeo64> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[13:10] <@oWn3d> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[13:10] <@Archivis> aaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!!!
[13:10] <+NeoGeo64> Whatcha doin?
[13:10] <@oWn3d> spankin the m, floodin a newb
[13:11] <+NeoGeo64> True.....
[13:11] <@Archivis> True
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If I don't make fun of you, who will? |
posted Wednesday August 21st, @12:30PM
(jump earlier later)
Parody: mr sean
What better way to start off this parody series then to make a parody of my favorite journal.
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Catchy Title: mr sean's journal of heavy panting
day 69
Morning.
The sun crept up to the sky like a senior citizen's shrivel-lover overdosed on viagra. The mere thought of this encounter made getting out of bed, that much more discomforting. I reached over and delightfully tapped the snooze button, putting myself in an erection-forgetting snooze.
Afternoon.
I've run out of items from my refrigerator to desecrate my front porch and the various surrounding residences. The bed looks appealing.
Evening.
The bats finally left me alone tonight and attacked my neighbor who continues to dig trenches in his yard. The bastard had it coming.
--------------------------------------------------
download speed: 2129148 bps, or 2129 kbps.
upload speed: 369594 bps, or 369 kbps.
Team Helix: 4625.25
Team Endeavor: 47,695,505
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If I don't make fun of you, who will? |
posted Wednesday August 21st, @10:42AM
(jump earlier later)
Journal Parody Time!
Alright, these next several posts (which will probably be done throughout the day) are going to be mock-ups of various other journals. I'll try not to be incredibly rude, but I'm sure you'll all enjoy the entertainment.
I've given up on hope of ever getting any form of flame mail. Am I just always right? Are people just agreeing with me and not speaking out? Or are the people who disagree with me so humiliated, or are too afraid to approach me, that they never voice themselves? I'll probably never know.
Let the parodies begin!
--
If I don't make fun of you, who will? |
posted Wednesday August 21st, @10:27AM
|
Archivis