Monday November 4th
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Recovery Time - 3 days After crawling out of bed Sunday morning with a pretty bad lower back strain, I knew the day would be unproductive. In fact, the next three days are going to be that way until my back fully heals. Guess that will teach me to play 4 games in a day. Was it all worth it? I think it is, but my back doesn't think so. As I was laying down on my couch, I thought about everything that happened on Saturday. The Stick Heads are done. The team was dismantled because we all have different teams we are going to. I have Mikula Chiropractic coming back next session. A couple members of the Stick Heads are coming with me, but the rest are off to join other teams. Winning two championships is a huge feat, but like most teams, they aren't built forever. People come and go. Especially when you are faced with moving up a division and you already play for a team in that higher division or you can't play on the days they play. This championship is my fourth. Not bad for someone who just started to play on skates 2.5 years ago. I have been fortuniate to be on some very talented teams and have a good defense in front of me. I look at this trophy sitting next to my computer at home and wonder why it was given to me. My team said I deserved it. I was just one person on the team though and I will not let it go to my head. I have a lot to learn and work on. I have to get better because even though I played solid, I have more challenges coming up down the road. One of those challenges is getting my beginner team a championship. Something I haven't been able to do for about a year now. I feel our time is coming. Every team and player has to go through a certain period of disappointment. That is what builds your hunger to succeed in the future and then win that final game. [text was edited by author 2002-11-04 09:40:05]

Saturday November 2nd
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Friday November 1st
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Wednesday October 30th
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Playoffs again? It just seems like it was yesterday when I was holding the trophy aloft over my head. It is amazing how time flies. Playoffs are this Saturday for me and I am raring to go. Both teams I am playing with have made it to the big dance so I am very excited. Now if I could just get my ice hockey game in shape when I sub for a team. The last few weeks when I have subbed I have played some brutal games. Last night we had a 3-2 lead at the beginning of the third period before everything crashed down on us. We ended up losing 9-4. Man, talk about depressing. These sub games drive me a little crazy, and I know I am capable of doing better. Makes me wonder if the teams I play for on a regular basis play better defense or if my confidence is higher. Maybe a bit of both. I do know one thing and that is how much more at ease I am while playing. I used to feel this huge weight on my back because I felt I didn't deserve to win my first two championships as a backup. After that championship last session, I feel more solid. Others have commented I am playing great and I notice that as well. I just hope it continues. My pictures have been getting a lot of use at USCHO lately. Not only have they been featured on the front page and recaps, but I have been getting emails from the parents of the players on the teams saying thanks. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside when I snap pictures. The picture posted above is of Chris Kunitz. He is the current leader in goals and points for the entire college hockey league this year. He was named CCHA offensive player of the week for two weeks straight and for one week on the USCHO website. Speaking of snapping pictures, I am planning on taking shots of the playoff games on Saturday. Obviously, I can't get pics of myself, but there will be games all day. Otherwise, I am just going to try to relax, because next weekend I have FSU hockey. Actually, the next 3 weekends after this one coming up I will be doing FSU hockey. In addition to that, my wife will be going away to finish another clinical rotation for her Pharmacy PhD in a few weeks! It just keeps getting better and better! [text was edited by author 2002-10-30 10:02:41]

Tuesday October 22nd
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Chuggin along Much has happened in the last week. Obviously, on Friday and Saturday I was at Ferris State taking more photos and doing more stories. I will post links of them and the pictures I took at the bottom of the page. I am getting more and more used to this camera. The lens is no "small" issue though. The lens is almost as big around as the lens hole I shoot through. I have to be so careful not to ding the lens while I am shooting, and that includes not bumping it against the glass. Part of me still wonders if a puck is going to go through that hole and nail my $1,500 lens. My own personal hockey teams are doing well. I should get both of them in the playoffs, which is a good thing. Next session I might make a move up a division with another team, but part of me likes the time off. With my wife still going to school, it gives me more free time though. I will have to think about it. With the playoffs swiftly approaching next Saturday, I am not going to think about it until after that. My goal is to win my 4th championship. Won't be the most one goalie has won at Rivertown, but it will put me in a distinguished category. I have spent a ton of money on my car lately. Almost all of it on maintainance stuff. $170 for tires. $600 on shocks and struts. Just recently, I spent $200 on a new wheel bearing. I must have had this problem for a few months now because after I got the bearing replaced my car is so much quieter. I have a trip to Chicago this week. Going to catch a Blackhawks game while I am down there. When I get back on Sunday is when the butterflies will start to turn inside me. I always get like that around playoff time. »www.nightfall.net/freelancephoto···dex.html - Pictures »www.uscho.com/recaps/20022003/m/···-fsu.php - Recap 1 »www.uscho.com/recaps/20022003/m/···-fsu.php - Recap 2 [text was edited by author 2002-10-22 09:33:33]

Tuesday October 15th
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More photos! A lot of things have happened in the past week. I will try to go over everything. First, when it concerns my goaltending, I haven't been doing that well. I lost my game against the other undefeated team 7-4 and then we lost on Thursday 8-1. I got more than a little fustrated at the last loss. After losing 3 games in a row, I followed up with a win last night 7-2. Our goal is to still beat that undefeated team that cranked us last week though, and our team is united. My cousin came up from Dallas to spend a week with me. Therefore, it was quite busy to say the least. I spent a lot of time setting up Windows 2000 server for him on a spare system. Otherwise, a lot of gaming and relaxing was in order. Photography kicked back in on Friday last week when I saw FSU play St. Cloud State in college hockey. These games were excellent to say the least. St. Cloud was ranked 11th in the nation, and played like it. FSU lost Friday and won impressively on Saturday. »www.uscho.com/recaps/20022003/m/···-fsu.php - Link to story I wrote »www.nightfall.net/freelancephoto···dex.html - Pictures I recently got another lens to add to my collection. This is a 24-85mm AFS lens that will help with more wide angle shots. I will try to do more testing with that lens this weekend. [text was edited by author 2002-10-15 11:13:55]

Monday October 7th
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College hockey is here! Photo comparison. After getting this new camera, I was waiting anxiously to test it out with ice hockey. I got my wish on Saturday when I attended the opener of College Hockey. Ferris State vrs Western Ontario was an exhibition game, but it wasn't a preseason game in the NHL. The regulars all started and played hard. Attached to this post are two pictures. The first one is a picture taken with my new camera. The second is one taken last season with my old camera. The quality difference is just staggering. It really makes me look forward to the next game. A couple links for you to check out. »www.nightfall.net/freelancephotography - A photo database. »www.nightfall.net/freelancephoto···dex.html - New pictures I took on Saturday. »www.uscho.com/recaps/20022003/m/···-fsu.php - Small recap I wrote on the game. I will write more when the game isn't an exhibition. In other news, I have probably my toughest test of the season tonight. Two undefeated teams facing off against each other. Mind you, it is just the regular season, but this game may be a finals preview. My team better come ready to play. I know I have been ready for this game. [text was edited by author 2002-10-07 10:01:57]

Tuesday October 1st
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Monday September 23rd
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XM Radio, Tournaments, and other stuff Another week has come and gone in my life. Oh where to begin. To start, I got my XM Satellite Radio installed and MAN is it cool! It will be a welcome alternative to commercialized radio. So far, my favorite station has to be BPM which is a dance music station. Virtually no commercials and man is it nice. Something to get you moving right when you get in the car is nice. I got the opportunity to attend the Red Wings Red and White game at the arena here in Grand Rapids on Thursday. It is a sight to behold all the stars of the Red Wings as well as prospects playing hard in front of a sold out crowd. As the game progressed, they were showing Stanley Cup Flashbacks from the last season. The last flashback was the Wings actually lifting the cup. The crowd all stood and cheered. Quite a sight to see. Saturday and Sunday was the Rivertown Sports Fall Inline Classic tournament. I was really looking forward to playing in this tourney. Unfortuniatly, the team I was on was more than just a little outgunned. It was amazing on how unbalanced the house teams were. I wish we got a few more experienced players. As it turned out, my house team got a lot of copper caliber players while the other one got a lot of bronze/silver caliber. Even so, I made the most of my opportunity. We didn't win a game, but I faced a ton of shots and turned away many chances. I can't complain at all. I just wish I could have gotten a win for my team. I am trying new contact lenses, and they are more than just a little annoying. I tried contacts before, but they were just a little too irritating. We will see what happens with these. I have a game today and I will be using them during it. Mind you, I have 20/50 vision, so my vision is just a little off to begin with. I need to get used to these contacts though. Next update I should hopefully have pictures of the inline hockey classic as well as other shots. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Tuesday September 17th
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Reuniting One of the teams I have been playing goalie for, Statewide Restoration, finally got their origional goalie back. It was quite suprising to see him. Last time was about 3 months ago when he told me and his team he was taking a session off to rehab his knee. I still kept my goalie gear on and sat on the bench during their game. Before and during that game, there was a connection there that I never made with the team when I was playing for them. The same connection I have with my teams. Statewide was glad to see him back, and I was too. This gives me more time to spend on getting ready and working on college hockey. I can also start substituting for other teams more often. Now...for the eternal question... WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU? UPS can start by getting my radio and other equipment here today. That would be a good start. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Monday September 16th
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Wednesday September 11th
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Monday September 9th
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Wednesday September 4th
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Still on cloud 9 Pictures were just released today and I got a chance to see 1/2 of me. Yes, the picture isn't the greatest cause my legs are cut off, but at least they got the rest of me. Can't complain though. It isn't the picture that makes the championship, it is the feelings and the things that you remember. I still think back to the OT game winning goal being scored and me charging out of my net with my arms flailing. I just couldn't believe it was happening. Now that it is over, I still think back to that game and my feelings through it all. The ups and downs. This is what makes you feel oh so alive. Whats next for me? The Stick Heads will be back next session, but not without a couple changes. Team Kontakt will be back, and I am eagerly awaiting to make a push to the playoffs again with them. Statewide Restoration is up in the air. My season with them wasn't the greatest and I was a little disappointed with my performance when I played for them. Ultimatly, it is up to them. I talked to the captain yesterday and he doesn't know what is going on yet. Guess, I will wait and see. My next goal is to get on an ice hockey team. I have been playing ice hockey for two years actually. My first team broke apart and I didn't find a new one to replace them. Since then, I have been scrimaging with Davenport University. They needed a goalie and I needed a home. It worked out quite well. Scrimaging is nice, but I still long for competitive play on the ice. With another championship under my belt, the hunger is growing again. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net [text was edited by author 2002-09-04 10:39:35]

Monday September 2nd
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Exhilaration and Disappointment I will try to put into words what has happened in the last 72 hours. Not only has it been one of the highest points I have experienced in a long time, but it was also not without its low ones. Saturday I walked into the arena at 9:00am ready to lead my teams through the playoffs. Since I am not superhuman, I found another goalie to take one of my three teams. Even I can't play 2 consecutive games. Game 1 - Team Kontakt vrs The Vipers I have been goalie of Team Kontakt for a long time. This isn't our first trip to the playoffs, but the team played very aggressive. After taking a 3-0 lead and playing a defensive game, I had a fluke shot from behind the net deflect off my own defenseman's skate and go behind me to make it 3-1. About a minute later, one of their forwards picked the top corner to make it 3-2. My team regained the two goal lead with about four minutes left. The Vipers got back within one with 12 seconds to go, but the game was over by then. Gotta give big points to my team for working so hard. Game 2: Stick Heads vrs Storm This game was also another 4-3 game. It seemed whenever we took a one goal lead, the Storm was right there to answer back. My confidence never waivered though and when we scored with about five minutes left, I held them off for the win. Game 3: Statewide Restoration vrs The Rage I never played this game. I am glad I didn't either. I didn't have the energy to take them on after playing two games in the last 3 hours and this would have been a back-to-back game with the Stick Heads game I played previously. My backup goalie strained his groin 3/4 of the way through the game so he went home after the 6-2 loss. Game 4: Team Kontakt vrs The Fury - Championship Game I had another back to back game situation ahead of me here. With my Stick Heads team playing right after this one, I got another goalie to step in for me. I really had no choice in the matter. The last thing I wanted to do was lose my second game due to exhaustion. This game was locked up at 1-1 for the longest time until The Fury scored with 9 seconds left to get the 2-1 win. My team was crushed. They worked so hard and got nothing out of it. I felt so bad like I let them down. Part of me still wonders if I played if I could have gotten them the win. It wasn't like the other goalie I got to play was bad. He made save after save and did what it took to keep our team in it. I still cried after the game, but I had to shake it off because my championship game was coming up. I needed to be sharp. Game 5 - Stick Heads vrs Off The Wall - Championship Game With my eyes still red from crying, I stepped in the goal crease. My confidence was unraveled as my team took a 2-0 lead into the final period. My heart beat with anticipation as the time ticked off the clock. That is when Off The Wall made their move. A scrum in front of the net helped them get one goal. They got a second one off a shot that went top corner. I wish I got that first one, but the second one I had zero chance on. My team took two dumb penalties and gave them a two man advantage for the last two minutes of the game. They didn't waste that either as they scored to make it 3-2 with under a minute to play. I am going to stop time for a minute here and tell you how I felt. I felt terrible. I had a sick feeling inside me saying that I blew it. All that work for nothing. I was almost in tears. We were still on the penalty kill for the rest of the period and losing the game. I thought about the previous game and losing like my last team did and thought it was in the cards for this game. Until... I rushed to the bench after the puck was dropped, but I didn't even get a chance to get on the bench. WE SCORED! Tied at 3-3! I didn't believe it. I started practically dancing inside. To overtime we went. Still on the penalty kill though for a little bit. I stopped a great wraparound chance and a breakaway. When I covered the puck, the crowd cheered. I almost broke into tears again, but I tried to hold everything in until the end. About a minute later, we scored on a odd man rush. I charged out of the net flailing my arms. We had won. For the first time, I have led a team through the entire regular season and playoffs to a championship. A milestone for me. I broke into tears as the team piled on me and the guy who scored the goal in OT. Mission accomplished. It has been a few days since we won, but I already found a song that I heard after we won that symbolizes our victory. The Calling - Wherever you may go »www.songlyrics.co.nz/lyrics/t/th···ever.htm Now, I am content. The demons inside no longer bother me. The hunger to do it again is still there. However, I have time. I am only 30. I know my time will come again, maybe next season. Now, I have a trophy to my name and I can call myself a champion. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Friday August 30th
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Pregame jitters It is 10:35pm and my heart is already pounding. Tomorrow, I will step out to win a championship. That is the goal, and our team is unified. At least I hope they are. The fear I have is that I will somehow screw this up. Having won two championships, but not playing a playoff game in either of those seasons still stabs at me. I have often daydreamed about a release that will send me into tears if we made it all the way. However, the road to a championship is never easy. Especially in a single game elimination. Hockey is unlike any other sport. Anyone can win at any given time. Especially when you play roller hockey. That puck bounces funny a few times and you can find yourself behind quickly. The picture above is of Ken Dryden. He won many cups with the Montreal Canadians and has a saying that is totally true when it comes to being a goalie. "Allowing few enough goals that he feels every one, he is driven instead by something else - the penetrating hatred of letting in a goal." Biography and information on Ken Dryden can be found here: »ucsu.colorado.edu/~norrisdt/bio/drydenk.html Hopefully, I will sleep well tonight. I have a big day tomorrow, and I don't want to mess this opportunity up. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Tuesday August 27th
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Ryan Miller and other hockey related info. I made the front page of »www.uscho.com again. This time with a picture of Ryan Miller. The goaltender from MSU is on his way to Buffalo after deciding to forgo his senior season. I mention this not only because I got some good pictures of him, but because I talked to him a few times. As a reporter, you get to meet everyone eventually. Ryan Miller not only impressed me with his play on the ice, but he was always open to questions. I can only hope I have the distinction of meeting him again. It looks like all my hard work this season is going to result in all my teams making the playoffs. This is a good thing. However, the march to the championship will never be easy. I am already looking forward to Saturday. That is when the semi-finals and finals games will begin. Until then, I have a lot of tune-up games to play this week. After I take Friday off of playing, I should be ready for Saturday. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Saturday August 24th
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Springing Leaks These last few days have been the bane of my existance. Hockey has become more fustrating for me as time as went on. Last week, I went 1-2 and pissed away the game I played last night. With playoffs one week away, I now dread what will happen when I skate out to play. One of my worst fears is not living up to my own expectations. I have only been playing goalie for the last 2.5 years and on skates for the same amount of time. I can't expect myself to be Dominik Hasek or anything. I just keep thinking about lifting that championship trophy and my teammates piling on top of me in celebration when we win our last game. When you don't win a championship at the end of the season, it is an empty feeling. The kind of feeling that grabs a hold of you inside and twists you up. I have been on two championship teams. Both times, I didn't play a single playoff game in route to our championship. We always had 2 goalies, and the other goalie always got the nod. Maybe it was because he did slightly better than I did or the team I played for didn't have much faith in me or my abilities. I went 3-1 the first championship season and the other goalie got the nod because he went 4-0. I went 2-2 the second season and the other goalie went 3-1. Both times, I couldn't compete and my team had more faith in the hot goalie. The point of this is that I haven't won a championship since. It weighs heavily on me too. Sometimes I doubt my abilities when I lose in the playoffs. Maybe I will never carry a team to the championship again. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to win a title. The way that I am playing now, there is no way I am going to make it to the finals without getting a big confidence boost. I need to turn things around. The picture above is my last championship season. Holding that trophy made me happy, but the luster wore off fast. I was cut from the team not 5 minutes after we won. That is another story in itself though. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Wednesday August 21st
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Questions Answered! I have received a few IM's from people that actually read this journal. First, I wanted to say thanks and I really appreciate people sending me feedback. My life isn't that interesting, but I guess some people do find it at least a little interesting to say the least. First, my camera. I take pictures with a Nikon D1H SLR digital camera. Without going into too much detail, the camera is geared toward professional sports photography. That is my hobby after all. I use a special lens with auto focus that works very quickly so I can take pictures fast. Five frames per second is usually enough for me to capture good quality photos. You can read a very in depth review on this camera by going to »www.dpreview.com/reviews/nikond1h/ The last picture I included above is of Ferris State Goaltender Mike Brown. Since I do a great majority of my photography for Ferris State and I love to play goalie, I used his picture. I used to attend FSU as a student and there is where I fell in love with the game. You will find this story quite funny... Back when I attended Ferris State in 1993, I really didn't like sports much. I watched football on occassion, and hockey was totally foreign to me. Tried watching the game on TV but it never really caught my attention. My girlfriend (future wife) won season tickets to the hockey team that year. She offered them to me, and I told her I wasn't a fan but I would sell them or something. I really wasn't looking forward to seeing the first game. I went with a bunch of friends who lived in the same dorm as I did. Needless to say, after watching the game I was hooked. I don't know what happened, but it just clicked and I was a fan. I watched hockey on TV and attended every home game. To this day, my wife says it was a mistake giving me those tickets. If I didn't get those tickets, I probably wouldn't have went to a game and therefore wouldn't have become a fan. Fast forward to today. My wife is getting me the Center Ice Package which will include all the pro hockey games all over the US for $140 a year. Not bad considering I think I would watch it all the time. I am already looking forward to seeing more hockey this coming year. -- Nightfall - »www.nightfall.net

Monday August 19th
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